Friday, December 9, 2011

Big Baby Headed to America's Wang


Sorry, wrong one...


Boston Globe Celtics Blog - The Celtics will deal forward Glen Davis to Orlando in a sign-and-trade that will send Magic forward Brandon Bass to Boston, a source tells Marc Spears of Yahoo! Sports. The move would end a four-year run for Davis and the Celtics that started with a with a world championship and ended with questions over Davis' effort and maturity.

Bass' agent told the Orlando Sentinel the deal was close.

The Sentinel also reported the Davis deal would be for four years, and that Davis was on his way to Florida to take a physical.

Davis, a second-round pick by Seattle in 2007, came to the Celtics via a draft-night trade that also brought Ray Allen to Boston. Davis played in 69 games as a rookie and averaged 4.5 points and 3 rebounds. Davis filled in as a starter for Kevin Garnett during the 2009 playoffs and had perhaps his best run in a Celtics uniform, averaging 15.8 points and 5.6 rebounds in 36 minutes per game. During that postseason, however, Davis drew criticism for pushing a young fan in Orlando following a game-winning shot over the Magic. That offseason, Davis broke his hand in a fight with a childhood friend, keeping him out until December.


Davis upped his scoring average to 11.7 points per game last season, but his shot selection was questioned, and he was a virtual no-show in the postseason. Bass, too, has had an up-and-down career, and the Magic are likely moving him for the same reasons the Celtics are moving Davis. A second-round pick out of LSU in 2005, Bass didn't show much in New Orleans before having two productive seasons in Dallas before a disappointing debut in Orlando. Last season, though, his second with the Magic, Bass averaged career highs of 11.2 points and 5.6 rebounds. At 6-feet-8-inches and 250 pounds, he's a more traditional power forward than Davis.

Well, it ain't CP3 or Dwight Howard, but Bass is solid and I would imagine that he will extend Doc Rivers' heart health and sanity a few more years.  Big Baby was, at times, a solid role player for the Celtics, but is clearly insane.  The fact that he let KG make him cry may have been the end of it for me.  Then there was his MMA fighting and the time he broke his finger and missed the start of the season because he was fighting with his friend in his car.  Doc may drop Baby off at the airport.


ANyone think David Stern nixes this deal too just because he is drunk with power?



-Big Ran

KC Jones Comment: I thought Big Baby WAS America's Wang......

Robber Misses Opportunity for Comedy Gold


Pocono Record A Brodheadsville man accused of robbing a local pharmacy of painkillers made the job easier for police by leaving behind his birth certificate.


Stroud Area Regional Police say Keith A. Rebori, 23, robbed the East Stroudsburg CVS of painkillers on Thanksgiving Day.
A man entered the CVS and handed the pharmacist a bag and threatening note demanding all of the Oxycodone, Oxycontin and Xanax, police said. The pharmacist gave him 798 Oxycodone tablets, after which the man left.
Police later searched the area, finding a hooded sweatshirt, a backpack and the note used in the robbery. They also reviewed the surveillance video, which showed a man in the pharmacy earlier that day, wearing the same hooded sweatshirt and carrying the same backpack, police said.
Police said the backpack contained Rebori's birth certificate. He was arrested, placed in Monroe County Correctional Facility in lieu of $25,000 bail and will appear in district court at a future date.
In comedy timing is everything and this dude had none.  If this guy was smart, he would have robbed this pharmacy back when Donald Trump was making a big deal out of whether or not Obama was born in the US and printed out a copy of Obama's birth certificate.  Bing, bang, boom, even if you get caught you'll get to go on The Daily Show to pay for your legal defense.


-Big Ran

You're Welcome



I saw this on Barstool, but it is too good not to talk about.  The first 15 seconds may have scarred me for life, but at the same time I couldn't help but laugh.

If these girl's fathers hadn't let their families a long time ago to cause these daddy issues, they would probably just drink themselves to death.  I will say this though, the girl in the back is pure comedy gold.  She rocks the BJ mime at the one minute mark and then absolutely annihilates the backwards chair dance to show off the tramp stamp at the two minute mark.  She kind of reminds me of a plumber. 

Two of my other favorite parts:

"Your schlong is long and your built like a sturgeon." - I'm not sure how the second part of that is a compliment, but I guess there isn't much that rhymes with virgin.

"Boner, boner, boner, boner, boner, yeah." - No commentary necessary.

-Big Ran

PS:  If you don't think I'm changing all my screen names to "GotaBigPenisGuy," you're nuts.

PPS:  Science has progressed to the point where you can choose the gender of your kids, right?  If it has, there is a zero percent chance I would choose a girl after seeing this video.

Stuck In My Head



I don't know how this happened, and I apologize if you have to sit through a commercial, but this video is totally worth it.

Honestly, if you just sing "Get down on it," you know 87% of the song.  They honestly may have written this in the bathroom before a show.  How am I still living paycheck-to-paycheck when songs like this are played 30 years later?

-Big Ran

What you gonna do? You want to get down?
Tell me
what you gonna do? Do you want to get down?
What you gonna do? You want to get down?
What you gonna do? You want to get down? - Tell me.

Get down on it
get down on it

Get down on it
get down on it
come on and
Get down on it
get down on it

Get down on it
get down on it.

How you gonna do it if you really don't want do dance

By standing on the wall?
Get your back up off the wall
tell me.
How you gonna do it if you really don't want to dance

By standing on the wall. Get your back up off the wall

'Cause I heard all the people sayin':
Get down on it
come on and
Get down on it - if you really want it
Get down on it - you gotta feel it
Get down on it - get down on it
get down on it
Come on and get down on it
baby
baby
Get down on it - get down on it - get down on it.

I say people - what? What you gonna do?
You've gotta get on the groove
If you want your body to move
tell me
baby.

How you gonna do it if you really don't want to dance

By standing on the wall? Get your back up off the wall. - Tell me.
How you gonna do it if you really won't take a chance

By standing on the wall? Get your back up off the wall.
[- From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/k/kool-&-the-gang-lyrics/get-down-on-it-lyrics.html -]
'Cause I heard all the people sayin':

Get down on it - get down on it - get down on it
Get down on it - when we're dancin' - get down on it
Get down on it - get down on it

Get down on it - get down on it
Get down on it - come on and
Get down on it - baby
baby
Get down on it - get down on it - get down on it.

What you gonna do? - Do you want to get down?
What you gonna do? - Get your back up off the wall.
Dance
come on get our back up off the wall.
Dance
come on!

Get down on it - come on and
Get down on it - if you really want it.
Get down on it - you gotta feel it
Get down on it - get down on it
Get down on it - come on and
Get down on it - get down on it
Get down on it - and while you're dancin'
Get down on it - get down on it
Get down on it - get down on it
Get down on it - get down on it
Getdown on it - get down on it
Get down on it - you move me baby
when you move
Get down on it - get down on it

Get down on it - get down on it
Get down on it - get down on it
Get down on it - get your back up off the wall
Get down on it - get down on it
Get down on it - get down on it
Get down on it - get your back up the wall