Thursday, July 14, 2011

The Life & Times of Big Ran....

I'm sure that you're all sad that Big Ran is traveling for work and then on vacation, so he wanted me to keep all of his peeps up to date on his travels and whereabouts...I'm thinking that despite having to fly from Boston to Dallas in order to get to Calgary (riiiiiiighhhhhhhhht), our boy Big Ran is definitely enjoying himself! Canada (aka the hideous growth on the forehead of the United States) has no idea what it's in for! Hide your kids, hide your wives, hide your husbands, cause Big Ran is gon' be harassing err'body up in there!


-----Original Message-----
> From: Big Ran
> Sent: Thursday, July 14, 2011 10:36 AM
> To: KC Jones
> Subject: TX
>
> Hey if you want you could update the blog with my travels.  I am
> currently in Dallas having second breakfast consisting of Guinness and
> mini burgers.
>
>
>
> Sent from my iPhone
>

Irrational Rant....You're So Vain, You Probably Think This Post is About You...

Okay, so I was driving into work this morning when a car with a ridiculous vanity plate drove by me. Something to the effect of "NETRK" or something like that. Bottom line is that it made no sense and was just stupid. So, I began thinking about how annoyed I get by people who have vanity license plates on their cars. I mean, really? So, in addition to your car payment, insurance payment, the price of gas, excise tax (where applicable--f you Massachusetts!), registration costs, inspection costs, and any repairs, you are CHOOSING to add to your expenses? Good for you. Having money to burn must be so hard. You paid EXTRA to your respective state to get a specialty plate which will allow your car to be more easily targeted if someone wants to screw with you?


Unless you have come up with something ridiculously witty to spell out, these plates are ALWAYS a bad idea. The people that opt for them are either egotists or just plain stupid. Here are a few of the most ridiculous ones I've ever seen the parking lot here at my P.O.E:

1. SNUZER: What? What does that mean? Should it be 'snoozer' and you just didn't have enough room? Do you like to sleep? What else could it possibly mean?

2. NXRBL: I've been trying to figure this one out for years. Again, because we are working with a limited amount of characters, did letters get left out? The best I can come up with is POSSIBLY "Next Rebel", which just makes no sense. However, this car belongs to a very large man who also has a 'nude beach' parking permit on his back window. So, nothing is out of the realm of possibility as far as I'm concerned.

3. MRCPA: Yup! That's right! And this one is exactly what it looks like: Mr. CPA, as in Mr. Certified Public Accountant. This dude is a TOTAL Poindexter, so I shouldn't be surprised that he took the time to acquire a plate like this. The plot gets even thicker when one realizes that his initals are M.R. so, it could either be "Mr." or just his initials. Regardless, he's a dork and he's super cool driving around in his Infiniti.

Maybe Big Ran and I should get matching plates....
-KC Jones