Your boy Big Ran is peacing out of the office, meeting off site. I'm a pretty big deal. Wes Welker's creeper stache wishes you a wonderful long weekend for MLK Day. Unless your POE is racist like KC's, then enjoy the cube on Monday.
Miami New Times - Travis Williams was arrested on Wednesday for disorderly conduct/breach of the peace, which does not address the question as to why he's covered in a white powder. Williams was apparently at the Bayside Marketplace around noon, screaming at and trying to hit patrons, when cops rolled up. He allegedly got into a fighting stance and said: "Fuck you, motherfucker!"
The police officer who filled out the report clearly is the unflappable type. Let's see, African-American ethnicity, 5-foot-9, 164 pounds, brown eyes, bald... and here's the best part: Under "scars, tattoos, and unique physical features", the officer wrote "None visible."
What about, say, the fact that the guy looks like he just fell into Tony Montana's cocaine hot tub?
At least the Miami cops who arrested the guy with half a head had the decency to write in the same box: "Half a Head."
We'd try to call the arresting officer to see if they had any theories, but cops always write their names amazingly messy on police reports. Does that say C. Gravedepersia?
Until we find out, we're left only with our theories. Was he deliciously deloused? Was he trying to gain entry to the Indian Creek Village Country Club? Was he, as our editor Chuck theorized, "robbing a concrete factory?" (Chuck's from a different era.)
If you arrested Powder, or were attempt-smacked by him at Bayside, or are him, or have anything funny to say, please tell us in the comments. This somehow seems like a good opportunity to give away some New Times sunglasses to the best guess.
I couldn't think of a lunchtime look-a-like, but I came across this and honestly can't look at this guy without laughing.
I have two possible guesses who this guy is. It's either Ashy Larry from The Chappelle Show:
ABC News - Katy Perry and Tim Tebow: Not since Adam and Eve has a couple seemed so divinely meant to be. According to OK! magazine, the newly single pop star’s parents are trying to orchestrate a meeting between her and the Broncos quarterback at their California church.
A source told the tabloid that Perry, who’s getting divorced from Russell Brand, “mentioned on more than one occasion how much she likes Tim.” His selling points: “He’s handsome, charming, intelligent and above all, a good Christian.”
Perry was a Christian pop star before she started singing about kissing girls and liking it. Her parents, Keith and Mary Hudson, are evangelical ministers. Tebow’s baptist faith has made him a sensation on and off the field. (See:Tebowing.)
Reps for Perry and Tebow did not immediately respond to ABCNews.com’s requests for comment, nor did Perry’s parents. (Though they alluded to Perry’s marital discord motivating people to go to church last week.)
In any case, moving vans were spotted in front of Perry and Brand’s Hollywood Hills home this week. He’s reportedly moving out; she’s keeping the $6.5 million mansion. Might be a nice place to spend the off season, Tim.
Listen, I'm not sure Timmy could handle Katy Perry, I'm just sayin'. At this point in life, do women think a dude being a virgin is sexy? Not so sure about that. And, yes, I made that Tebow pic. I'm a f*cking artist.
On the heel's of KC's MLK post, I have seen some really wonderful ways individuals and businesses have been honoring Dr. King. He obviously worked tirelessly for the equality of all people, so it is only fitting that everyone takes a moment to think about all he has done for the people of America.
I have a dream to pay too much for a cover charge and get the clap from a leather ottoman.
No matter your race, you want smooth skin.
-Big Ran
I don't know that any of these are racist, but I love this gif way to much not to post it:
