So, This Happened...

I saw a few people post on the facebook that Snoop was on "The Price Is Right" last week, but I hadn't seen the clip until now.  Can't we just replace Drew Carey with Snoop?  Drew is super creepy right now.  Skinny Drew just isn't right.  Plus, you know he was and still is amazingly intimidated by Bob Barker and having to follow him on the show.  I mean, we all heard the stories of Bob Barker putting the wood to all those Price Is Right models, and God bless him for it.  One Viagra and a cloud of dust for my man, Bob.

Other than the birdseed, these products were right up Snoops alley.  You see how confident he was with the ranch dressing, paper towels, Boboli, and crackers?  If you went to Snoop's house right now, I guarantee that he has all of those products in his kitchen.  I can also absolutely guarantee that Snoop loves making Boboli pizzas when he is high as a mutha f*cka.

Someone needs to start an online petition to replace Drew Carey with Snoop ASAP.

-Big Ran

PS:  How about that bird seed with, like, extra fiber and antioxidants and sh*t?  How about that?

PPS:  Sorry mid westerners, you guys are fat as f*ck.

Irrational Rant...F*cking Brita

Not this Britta

I'm not talking about intercoursing Britta from "Community."  I'm talking about those God Damned water filtering pitchers.

This is what I'm talking about

Our town can't get their sh*t together regarding tap water and send out quarterly notices about some cancer-causing chemical that they can't get below acceptable levels, so we have to filter all water used for drinking or cooking.  The water filter in our fridge spits out water at about an once a minute, so that isn't so helpful.  of course I bought a house water filter like two years ago, but do you think I've installed that thing yet?  Of course not, I'm that lazy.

So, this fall, rather than buying like six gallons of bottled water a week, my wife bought a Brita Pitcher to filter the tap water and keep in the fridge.  This way, we can go a bit greener and save some money.  Well, guess what?  Britas have been around for what, like 15 years (I just looked online and Clorox bought North American rights to Brita Filters in 1988)?  All I remember is how these were the hotness when I went to college.  Every dorm room had like three of them that were either bone dry and empty, or over-filled to the point where the filter was floating somewhere in the top compartment (everyone knows what I'm talking about).  We instituted the "Brita Rule" in our freshman year room.  If you poured water and what was left over fell below the Brita logo on the pitcher, you had to fill it.

Sorry for the tangent, but I hadn't had a Brita since college and they still have all the same frustrating problems.  Clorox has been working on these things for 24 years and they still can't get it right?  Are you kidding me?

The top NEVER fits on correctly, so when you try to pour it it will fall off, spilling water everywhere.  Also, what the f*ck is up with the carbon bits that always float around?  In the instructions they always say this is normal for the first couple pitchers.  Why should this be normal?  We have hybrid cars, we have arthroscopic surgery.  Why can't they keep their God Damned carbon bits inside their God Damned filters?

This lady looks like this cigar/water filter is working out pretty well.  Brita, hook it up with some filter straws sans carbon bits.  Granted, she's probably immune to dysentery and typhoid at this point, but that is neither here nor there.  Or it may be, I just like saying "neither here nor there."  How often do you get to use the word "nor?"  Not often enough for my liking. 

Anyway, I guess my point is that after 23 or 24 years, Britas shouldn't be as frustrating as they are.  Plus, I kind of just want to be able to chill, wear a do-rag, and drink water out of a dirty river.

-Big Ran 

Stuck In My Head - Post Holidays Edition

Wow.  You know why this is stuck in my head?  Because that friggin' Time Life Music of the Decades, or something like that, came on during the middle of the day yesterday on ESPN 6.

Anyway, take a look at this video and tell me there wasn't an LSD-fueled orgy with everyone in attendance.  You can't say there wasn't because there definitely was.  Chicks, dudes, whatever.  I just get the feeling it was all good after this jam session.

The description of this video and the subsequent comments are winners on this video as well.

The description:

cat stevens '71
Cat Stevens the performer is what this video is about. The deal with Islam and such has nothing to do with this. No religious beliefs are perfect, you must use your own mind and creativity. Religion is a guidance not a law in which to punish and hate. Rock on my brothers and sistas from around the world...


Comments:

• I am a Jew

  He Is a Muslim

  And HE is the best singer I know

  iGamezOnline 3 weeks ago 70 
• Grrrr, I wish I was as cool as this man some day :(

  ssssBOOMcraft 2 weeks ago 7 

-Big Ran