Friday, April 15, 2011
Super Terrific Happy Hour!
PARTY ALL THE TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!
This has to be the best 80s video of all time.
1:18 - People starting to rock out.
1:20 - Is that a young Amar'e Stoudemire with the shades on?
1:30 - Shirtless guitarist; a must in any 80s video.
2:25 - I can't even do these guys justice.
3:08 - This is when Rick James decides, "Fuck this, they need me on this jam" and starts rocking it at 3:18.
This video really makes me want to travel back to the 80s and do a Scareface-sized mountain of coke with Rick James. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Party all the time, bitches! Have a great weekend!
-Big Ran
KC Jones' notes:
1:06-Rick James giving the double clap every time the synthesized beat drops. Eddie Murphy also gets in on this clap back every time it happens. I find myself joining in every time I've ever watched this vid.
1:15-The lady clearly going commando from the waist up, wearing her yellow dress, with the middle cut out. This video was obviously shot before breast implants became commonplace. Also, notice her friend all the way to the left, with his collar popped.....someone in today's rap game owes him major royalties.
Rick James' perm.....I wonder if that hairstyle was a decision made while on a coke bender.
Good pick Big Ran, seriously. Your commentary is remarkable. How does one NOT want to party all the time after watching this?
Everyone Point and Laugh at the Knicks!
If you're a hoops fan, you know the NBA Playoffs start this weekend. If you have seen our blog, you know we will leave the serious breakdowns of the Celtics and Knicks to the experts. Here, we're just going to make fun of the Knicks.
-Big Ran
-Big Ran
We're Back!
I guess we're not technically back to blogspot, but we are back to blogging after coming over from Tumblr. We need our peeps to be able to comment! The dates on most past posts will be off since we brought everything over today, but you get the point, you're smart.
-Big Ran
-Big Ran
Office Etiquette
Today The Takeover is going to start a segment entitled "Office Etiquette." This was KC Jones' brainchild and I love it. Fortunately (or unfortunately), I have a great story.
A couple of weeks ago a coworker of mine, "Cheryl," was in a meeting. I was in someone else's office killing time when a woman from our processing unit, "Patty," comes to the door to ask where Cheryl was. The guy I was talking with told Patty that Cheryl was in a meeting. Patty responded with: "Oh good, I'm just going to read my book on her couch."
The two of us gave each other the "WTF" look because Patty was now lounging in Cheryl's office, reading a book on her couch at two in the afternoon.
When I tell Cheryl not to be surprised to find a visitor in her office she goes in to find Patty. Cheryl asks her what's going on and Patty replies "Oh, I just needed a place to relax and read my book. Are you going to be doing work in here now?"
Dudes, I think this is just absolutely bat shit insane. How the hell do you just go into someone's office that you barely work with and just take your shoes off and relax in their office at 2 PM. Honestly, it blows my mind that someone would think that is OK. Maybe I'm an asshole, but if someone is chillin' in my office you better be my friend and not some nut job from the processing unit that forwards me all the calls you should be handling yourself.
Other crazy co-worker stories? Different optinions on this one? Let us know.
-Big Ran
PS: Try googling images for reading on a couch. I'll wait...
A. Why is everyone smiling? Unless they caught you at the precise moment you were reading a lighthearted moment, you should be concentrating. Reading is Fundamental, bitches.
B. Why is everyone barefoot? Does nobody where socks while they are reading? Is that what I'm doing wrong? I don't want to see dudes in vests reading barefoot. Shit is gross.
PPS: Etiquette has to be the most difficult word to spell in the world. I tried that shit like six different ways until I was close enough to even use spell check. Maybe if I read with my socks off I would be smarter.
Lunchtime Look-a-Like
Although I'm not sure I can top yesterday's selections from Big Ran, I'm going to do my best.
Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you today's Lunchtime Look-a-like:
Yup, that's right; Tyra Banks and RuPaul......and, in the spirit of full disclosure, I'd like to present my reasons for the comparison:
1. Both are obnoxious, narcissistic individuals who would not be in the public eye without a team of professionals to transform them into something worth looking at. (Note that I am not using the words pleasant, enjoyable, or wonderful before the phrase "worth looking at"). Proof shown below:
2. Both have television shows that provide an endless amounts of clips for use by the funniest man in the world, Joel McHale, on "The Soup", each week. (Tyra has her horrendous talk show and America's Next Top Model while RuPaul has "RuPaul's Drag Race" which is only SLIGHTLY better than Tyra's talk show).
3. Each could pass for the opposite gender given the day, time, and amount of makeup applied.
4. Both have pretty "fierce" (shout out to Tyra's favorite word) foreheads that could be used for breaking boards.....
*A quick footnote: Let it be known that I used to like Tyra Banks, when she was just a model....But ever since that broad (shout out to Big Ran) she opened her mouth on a talk show, I find myself resisting the urge to puncture my own eardrums*
-KC Jones
Fast Forward...One Missed Call
Is there someone who sits nearby in your cube (or office) neighborhood who is constantly coming to talk to you, harass you, share stories, or otherwise annoy you and/or your work friends? Someone who wants to be your friend but you're just not feeling them? Someone who has an infinite number of stories which interest you about as much as watching paint dry? Or maybe this person is someone who is interested in you and you don't feel the same. Do you and your work friends constantly dread these interactions and wish you could find a way to make them stop? Well, here's a fun a little game you can play to get him or her out of your cube/office and back into their own area quickly and without any awkwardness:
When the person starts making their rounds, be patient and give them a minute to see if it will just be a casual and quick interaction. When the interaction starts going on for too long and becomes awkward or painful, have one of your friends call the person on the phone. They will hear the phone and quickly leave your space...if they don't, repeat the process until they do. It might take a few phone calls sometimes, but you have to be patient.
My friends and I have used this technique and it works--it also helps pass the time at work, much like our "Real World: Corporate America" game. And an added bonus is this: If the person bothering you is a spaz, they will get really animated and crazy each time they run to their phone only to find a 'hang up' or 'missed call' and no message left. We employed this technique on a crazy young man we worked with who was always hitting on all of us. He was like a little chihuahua or other type of ankle biter dog, so he was always all fired up and yipping and yapping. He would go INSANE when he would run to his phone for nothing! So, in addition to saving ourselves, we also got some good laughs each time he freaked out about it.
The keys to success in this game are as follows:
1. Make sure you and your friends are all on the same page. Make sure you are aware of the "storytellers" whereabouts at peak times (For example: Monday mornings are particularly trying as he/she will probably have many stories to share from two days apart. Also, Friday afternoons can also be risky because he/she might be anticipating separation anxiety and will want to share as much time as possible with you before being away for over 48 hours). You have to make sure you have each others backs.
2. If things become really unmanageable and the visiting hours become far too frequent, attempt to throw the planned visit off course before it happens: If you hear the person roaming around, make the call prior to the point where he/she plants him/herself in your doorway, cube, etc.
3. Make sure whoever is calling HANGS UP before the "storyteller" is able to see their phone (if they have caller ID). You do not want him/her to find out what is going on or you may NEVER be able to get rid of them....or maybe they'll be offended and never speak to you again...which wouldn't necessarily be a bad thing, right? Hmmm...maybe tip #3 isn't that important after all!
-KC Jones
*Big Ran note: we have a broad in our office that will comment on EVERYTHING if she walks by, especially when a group of us are having lunch. I always egg her on to keep making dumb comments about what is going on. I mean she comments on everything, so I might as well push her further toward the loony bin where her irrational thoughts will surely put her one day. Hey, you've got to laugh or you'll just cry.
*Hey Big Ran: I applaud your use of the word "broad"....that word is one of the most underrated, underused words in the English language.
Irrational Rant...Flavored Fucking Coffee
OK, no Canadian Bacon, but they might as well make it. At least regular bacon, I would actually try that. Blueberry coffee? Fuck you. If you like blueberry coffee you really need to reevaluate your life and priorities. Southern pecan? I was in St. Louis for a business trip once and went into a bakery and ordered a pecan roll, pronouncing it like any Masshole would, "pee-can." The woman promptly corrected me and asked me if I wanted a pecan roll (pronounced the right way). Fuck you, lady. You've got a stupid arch in the middle of your terrible downtown and Nelly. That's it. We've got the best colleges and universities, the best hospitals, and the American Revolution started here. We fucking invented freedom. Boom. Mocha fudge nut? How the fuck do you put the essence of nut in coffee? Deez nuts? I know how you can get that flavor. Rain forest nut? What the fuck does that even mean? This flavor better cure some illness or give me the virility of a viking snorting Viagra because that is a terrible idea for a flavor. Vanilla-caramel? Whatever, that's kind of normal, but I still don't want it.
I roll down to get some coffee ion the morning and I am always scared that it will be one of these idiotic flavors. Just terrible. I mean, on a day like today, mid-40s and raining, I just want a little pep in my step from the caffeine. Instead, there is some flavored mess of coffee, I get pissed, won't drink it and spend the whole day feeling like Curt Cobain circa April 5th, 1994.
Too much?
-Big Ran
When is Spring Training Over?
The Sox know these games count, right? Worst record in the majors at 2-9. Team batting average of .230, team ERA of 6.77, also last in the majors. Obviously this is pretty terrible and I am torn between this brutal start and the fact that they are still only like 6% through the season. At least with all this rain, it looks like they won't lose tonight.
-Big Ran
Super Terrific Happy Hour!
SO much to love in this video. How sloppy drunk she is, the fact that she slept in a bar, willingness to fight chicks, hatred of communism because she has to pay for HBO and birth control, there's just a lot going on here.
-Big Ran
Lunchtime Look-a-Like
OK, so it's time for The Takeover to get back on track. Your man, Big Ran, was on a business trip yesterday, so let me jump back in with a Lunchtime Look-a-Like. Does it get any more similar on AND off the court for Delonte and JT? Both had relationships with wackos: JT with Brit, Delonte with LeBron's Mom. JT got his break from the Mickey Mouse Club, Delonte was busted ridin' dirty. Really, the list goes on and on.
What do you think?
I say they could be brothers.
-Big Ran
*KC Jones thought her Imus and Phil Spector comparison was the best one...she stands corrected...way to go Big Ran!
Lunchtime Look-a-Like
Hey hey hey......Well, it's Friday and that means I'm in a wonderful mood, because, for the next 48 hours I get to trick myself into believing I never have to work again....on more somber note, this also means I'll be on suicide watch come Monday morning when I return to my cell....
I don't think I need to spend much time on an explanation for these look-a-likes, but I'd love to hear what you guys think about the resemblance between long lost brothers Ashton Kutcher and Chicago Bulls Guard Kyle Korver. Truthfully, I don't think it gets much better than this...
-K.C. Jones
Super Terrific Happy Hour!
It's a little early, but we've got a big time winner today I originally saw on Deadspin. Kobe rocking out in a Taiwanese Pop Video. Here's Black Mamba in Chinese (you're welcome): 黑曼巴.
-Big Ran
*KC Jones is wondering if there's any way the NBA can get these dudes to perform at the 2012 All-Star Game.....
The Most Hated Man in Boston Sports
Now this? This is a perfectly RATIONAL rant!
Take a good look at the picture below...this is the face of arrogance. Danny Ainge, or Dr. Evil (shout out to Mike Meyers), as I like to call him, has taken away any legitimate shot the Celtics had at winning Banner #18 this year! I'm currently watching the disaster that is ensuing on TNT right now and the Celtics, to put it nicely, are just out of options. I am not mad at the C's, this isn't their fault or Doc's fault, but I am furious with Dr. Evil. So furious that there will be many more posts to come. However, for right now, I just want to say to the Celtics in the immortal words of Tupac, "Keep Ya Head Up".
-KC Jones
Oh no, More Drama for Glo....
...Seems as though Glo must have been a little distraught over her boy's team losing to the lowly Milwaukee Bucks....or maybe it was just the stress of her long distance relationship with Delonte finally coming to a head....she needed her car STAT if she was going to make it Chicago see her little leprechaun before they take on the Bulls tonight....
-KC Jones
Irrational Rant....Sticker Shock
Have you ever been driving down the road and looked at the car next to you only to notice rear side windows that look like a makeshift sticker book? Or, have you ever pulled into a parking spot next to a vehicle decorated in a similar fashion? Yesterday, on my way home from work, this was the situation on the vehicle next to me and I got all fired up as I always do when I see this sort of thing.
Yes, I understand that kids do things and parents can't catch EVERYTHING...and, no, I'm not a parent (trust me, I can only imagine how much work it involves and that's a major reason why I'm completely disinterested). Furthermore, I understand that it's not my car, so technically, I shouldn't care, but it's not like there were just one or two. (Also, this is the "Irrational Rants" section, so my feelings are perfectly acceptable here). There were literally entire sheets of stickers "adorning" the vehicle that these working class stiffs are most likely STILL making payments for every month. What really gets me is when the car/minivan is still relatively new.
Parents, I understand that you want to foster Little Timmy and Jane's creativity, and I fully support that. However, can't you give them a few sheets of paper on which they can express themselves? Or maybe you can spring for a real sticker book where they can proudly display their collections. Or, if/when this behavior occurs, can't you stop it before you have 20 sparkly fairies or farm animals clinging to each of your windows? And, if you can't do either or those things, could you at LEAST supply them with removal vinyl decals instead of stickers? This way they can still have their fun and you won't have to drive around in a hooptie ride (see below for link to a definition)*. Moms and dads; you do everything for your kids; you go to work every day to support them, you go without so you can give them everything they want and need, and this is how they repay you? It's like they are using the fact that they are children to give you the finger (figuratively speaking) as they ruin your possessions....ok, ok, so I'm just being wise with that comment, but you get my point ;) Clearly if the child is old enough to have the fine motor skills and dexterity to peel the pieces off the sheet and reach the windows, they are old enough to understand the word "NO!" and to be punished or at least scolded for doing so.
For those of you who may disagree with me, I'd like to pose the following question: Would you allow this behavior to go on in your home? If you walked by and your offspring was standing in the living room decorating the walls with stickers, or worse COLORING on the walls, would it be okay? If the answer is 'yes', then I truly admire you---you are far more laid back and a better person than I will ever be. However, if you agree with me that this behavior is unacceptable in the house, please explain to me why it is permitted in the car.
I know that if I ever have kids, they are going to give me a run for my money. There will be times where I have no control and there will be times when I consider sending them away. Trust me, I know that I have NO idea what I'm in for if I ever become a parent. But also trust me when I tell you that the only sticker that will ever be on a vehicle I own is the yearly inspection sticker.
-KC Jones
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Hooptie%20Ride&defid=7673
Meet the New Partner of the Fenway Sports Group
Yup, our favorite, LeBron James.
From The Wall Street Journal: “We’re not interested in talent or athlete representation but we think he is one of the most remarkable athletes of his time,” Mr. Werner said in an interview Tuesday. “We believe we can open doors for LeBron and LeBron can open doors for us.” “The first time I stepped on an NBA court I became a businessman,” said Mr. James, who is 26 years old. “This is a great opportunity for me.” ”Without purchasing Liverpool, we never would have been able to have this conversation,” Mr. Werner said.”Eighteen championships,” Mr. James said. “I see myself trying to do the same things they have.”
Ugh. Sorry, I just threw up in my mouth a little but there. 18 championships, huh Bron Bron? You may have wanted to start winning some when you had the best record in the league with Cleveland. I guess that wasn't your fault, your elbow had an owie on it, then Delonte boned your Mom.
So, let's welcome the Sox owner's new business partner and hope we see him at a bunch of games in the off season.
On the bright side, anything that may bring LeBron's Mom closer to Delonte West is always a good thing.
-Big Ran
PS: I love how Chris Bosh is sitting like 4 rows behind LeEgo in that first picture. Seems just about right.
Super Terrific Happy Hour!
Here at The Takeover, we are always willing to try something new in hopes of keeping you entertained at work (or, at least keeping ourselves entertained at work). So, we're going to have a fairly regular Super Terrific Happy Hour, that in the spirit of Seinfeld, will bring you some laughs and some cultural awareness.
So, just in case you find yourself in Japan with a bit of a rumble in the jungle, I hope this video helps.
-Big Ran
*KC Jones hopes that you take the time to check out ALL the related links on YouTube...you will never be the same---Added Bonus: New workout moves as well!
Humpday Holla-back
Just a little something to push us over the hump this Wednesday afternoon....
How many people are more entertaining and likable than Redman? Seriously....if you aren't a fan of his or if you haven't heard or seen any of his work, you're missing out. He is arguably one of the most unintentionally funny people in the world---check out the link to his appearance on MTV Cribs for further proof. Red, your 'dollar box'? Great idea......I feel you....I'm thinking of starting a fan club.....I wonder if Big Ran is interested....
http://blog.masslive.com/linkfarm/2010/06/redmans_mtv_cribs_appearance_i.html
-K.C. Jones
Big Ran note: KC LOVES ellipses. KC and the Ellipse Band.
How many people are more entertaining and likable than Redman? Seriously....if you aren't a fan of his or if you haven't heard or seen any of his work, you're missing out. He is arguably one of the most unintentionally funny people in the world---check out the link to his appearance on MTV Cribs for further proof. Red, your 'dollar box'? Great idea......I feel you....I'm thinking of starting a fan club.....I wonder if Big Ran is interested....
http://blog.masslive.com/linkfarm/2010/06/redmans_mtv_cribs_appearance_i.html
-K.C. Jones
Big Ran note: KC LOVES ellipses. KC and the Ellipse Band.
Lunchtime Look-a-Like
Sorry for the delay in getting this up today---but I'm having a late lunch, what can I say? It's very busy here and I'm a critical cog in the machine that keeps this corporation running...I just wish my paycheck properly reflected my importance.
Anyway, back to the topic at hand---I think you will see the resemblance between our boy 'Fiddy Cent' and Detroit Pistons guard Rodney Stuckey. This one is beyond obvious and requires no further explanation. Truthfully, what are the chances that these two AREN'T related? Look at them! When I first saw #3 out on the floor a few seasons back I thought the Pistons may have quietly signed 50 in the offseason....or maybe cloned him! I wonder if 50 can ball? And, more importantly, I wonder if Stuckey can rap....I'm sure there's always room for another brother in the G-Unit family....
Update from Big Ran...
Can I throw a third person in the mix? Maybe a mini me of 50 Cent? Nate Robinson wearing Shaq's fur coat from when he was still in Boston. I would love to see that trio hanging out together.
Sox Can Still Go 158 - 4!!!!!!!!!!!
On the plus side, the pitching was an improvement from the home run derby the Sox just went through in Texas. However, Cleveland is a legitimately terrible team and the Sox lineup couldn't must any offense. The bottom of the lineup has been terrible and the amount of pressure the team must feel has to be mounting. With the free agent signings, trades, and players coming back from injuries last year, the expectations were off the charts. During spring training some of the players were talking about winning 100 games like it weren't no thang.
For me, starting pitching is still a major concern. I think Lester and Buchholz will be fine, who knows what you get from Matsuzaka, but Beckett and Lackey scare the hell out of me. Lackey was BRUTAL in his start, seemingly even worse than the first half of his season last year and while Beckett's line doesn't look terrible for an early season start, he was reminiscent of Pedro when you knew he was headed to the DL; a ton of breaking balls, low velocity, and he wasn't making anyone miss. Daisuke is now our early season stopper.
They can't win 100 games tonight, so they just need to get one and I think things could improve measurably. It would be nice to get off the schneid before the Yanks come to town over the weekend.
With all that said, I think they'll be fine and at least when they get back to Fenway there will be more fans than the Indians had last night.
-Big Ran
Irrational Rant...Staying at work until 4:30.
Before people start bitching, let me get this out of the way. Blah, blah, blah, I know I am lucky to have a stable job. Blah, blah, blah, I know I am lucky to not work 80 hours a week 52 weeks a year. Here's my point: if I get all the work I could possibly do today done and I don't have the creative energy left to come up with fancy proposals to save the company $5 million, why do I have to go through the bull shit act of staying until everyone else leaves at 4:30? Why can't I peace out, go home, and come back a happier employee? I realize that some companies let you do this. As long as you finish work, you can head out. But, let's be honest, that's not most companies.
Today I have done all my work, asked other people if they have anything I can help them with, have actually started working on a project that doesn't even remotely need to be started yet, watched episodes of The Office, 30 Rock, and Communitythat I missed, banged out a couple blogs, cleaned my desk, and checked espn.com like 14 times.
I am wasting electricity, oxygen, and my time. However, can you imagine what my bosses reaction would be if I said, "Hey, I am all set for the day, I've done everything I can do, so I am heading home early." I'm guessing that would come up as a negative in the old performance review.
How about I head out an hour early, miss some traffic, walk my dog, work out, make dinner, and return to work more productive and refreshed tomorrow morning? Nope. That wouldn't be fair to all the people that aren't as good as I am at my job and somehow stretch their work out until 4:30.
Nothing really funny in this one, so here's a video of fat people falling: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=us9v32LLpuQ
Totally worth checking that one out.
-Big Ran
Lunchtime Look-a-Like
Happy Tuesday! Today, with "Lunchtime Look-a-like" I'd like to focus on the similarities that can be found between the two insane guys pictured below. Two of the best the Caucasian race has to offer; Don Imus and Phil Spector. Some of you might think that the crazy hair and ghostly, sallow complexions of these two might be where the resemblance ends, but I beg to differ-the similarities are more than skin deep. Consider the most obvious facts, listed below:
1. Both men rose to fame via the radio, Don as a radio host and Phil as a record producer & song writer.
2. Both have had multiple failed marriages---although, looking at them, I can't possibly imagine why....
3. Both men have had troubled pasts personally and legally: Imus has struggled with alcoholism & cocaine addiction along with a number of incidents involving accusations of defamatory speech. The most well known instance, of course, involved the highly publicized comments about the Rutgers University Women's Basketball team that resulted in his temporary suspension (and possibly a permanent blacklisting (no pun intended) by many in the media). Phil Spector, on the other hand, has declared himself 'bipolar' while telling Britain's Daily Telegraphthat he considered himself "relatively insane". Back in the 70's he was involved in a near fatal car accident. In May of 2009, he was sentenced to 19 years to life in the California State Prison System following a guilty verdict in the second trial related to his involvement in the 2003 shooting death of actress Lana Clarkson.
While I could go on, I'm sure the pictures are the real focal point here. The bottom line is this: Phil and Don probably should have teamed up for their own radio show prior to Spector's incarceration ....Sadly, it's too late now.
-KC Jones
Higher Learning...
Lately I've been trying to figure out what I want to do with my life....specifically, I've been trying to decide on a Masters Degree Program I would enjoy. I think I've found my answer...I can "Master" being WHITE! Plus, it seems as though I can pursue this program even further and become a doctor! BONUS! Where do I sign up? Are they offering this program online or only in the classroom? Hey, if Don King can do it, why can't I? Another Dr. King....Martin Luther King Jr. would be so proud!
-KC Jones
Does Groupon Know What I'm Looking for or What?
$60 for Three Pole-Dancing Classes and Six Body-Sculpting Classes at Boston Pole Fitness ($190 Value)
-Big Ran
PS *KC Jones totally got Big Ran's Zoolander reference here....did you??
Congrats, Uconn
Don’t burn down Storrs. This obviously leaves us with only one question:
What if Lincoln didn’t free the slaves?
-Big Ran
Let's Go Bulldogs
This is always a bittersweet night for me. I LOVE the NCAA tournament. I take the first two days of the tourney off from work every year to get drunk and watch hoops. I mean there are 32 games the first two days alone and it all ends tonight.
I would love to see Butler win and they keep coming up with wins no matter what the experts say, so will tonight be any different?
If they do win, how great would it be to be a Butler student? And Blue Two, their mascot? I don't know if he's neutered, but man, I hope he gets tons of bitches tonight, win or lose.
-Big Ran
So Steve Nash's wife had Jason Richardson's baby, huh? No big deal.
Yardbarker has the story on this one. I remember hearing the rumors about something crazy, but this shit is b-a-n-a-n-a-s.
http://network.yardbarker.com/nba/article_external/nash_ex_wife_baby_daddy_identified_as_former_teammate/4492555
"Move over Tony Parker! Back in December, basketball fans were stunned when Pheonix Suns star Steve Nash filed for divorce from his wife just a day after she had a baby. Since then new information has surface about the separation.
Nash married Alejandra Amarilla in 2005 but broke up a few months before the baby was born after rumors of cheating allegations. The allegations were confirmed when Aljejandra gave birth to a black baby. Now the father is said to be Nash’s former teammate Jason Richardson. The Suns abruptly traded Richardson to the Orlando Magic in December, around the same time the baby was born."
-Big Ran
**On a happier note, at least they don't have to travel all the way to NY to attend a taping of the Maury show and wait for the results of a paternity test...clearly, "Steve Nash you are NOT the father"
-KC Jones
Lunchtime Look-a-Like
With their wild hairstyles, erratic behavior, rants, run-ins with the law and dominance in their respective fields, it's not too far fetched to believe that the late great James Brown and future Hall of Famer Allen Iverson might be father and son.....
-KC Jones
So, the Sox looked good this weekend, huh?
That series was still spring training right?
Best thing to come out of that series was Ortiz looking sharp right out of the gate. I had him penciled in for two crappy months before lighting it up, so if he can continue the nice start that lineup should only have one potential hole (Salty). Pap loaded the bases, but got a bad bounce on the double and got out of the jam. Crawford ended up with a couple of hits yesterday after looking terrible and Gonzo should be awesome.
The pitching was a disaster and I don't want to see the Texas Rangers again anytime soon. Done. On to Cleveland.
-Big Ran
Practice Makes Perfect...
All season, I've felt as though something (or someone) has been missing from my beloved NBA....today, "THE ANSWER" hit me. So, here's my Takeover Tribute to everyone's favorite ranter, Allen Iverson. Thanks for the memories AI, and I, for one, would love to see you get your act together and rejoin the league next season. It might take a little 'practice', but I'm sure it will be worth it....and it will have David Stern sweating in his poorly fitting suits....
-KC Jones
Fast Forward...The Real World
Do your days drag by? Do you find yourself staring at the clock, shocked to see it's only 11 a.m. when you SWEAR it's at LEAST 4:00 p.m.? Well, here's something we do to pass the time.....I call it "The Real World: Corporate America". How do you play? It's EASY! Look around your office and pick 7 people to put together in a house. Then, email the people in your 'trust tree' with your ideas and have them do the same. For added entertainment try to type cast the people you are choosing. For example, we have one crazy ass in our office who thinks she is H-O-T and, although none of us are friends with her, we can see all sorts of pictures of her posing in bikinis on her very PUBLIC Facebook page. You KNOW that MTV always casts at least one exhibitionist on each season of "The Real World", so she fits that role perfectly....did I mention she's also a witch (with a 'b')?! Two roles filled with one person! So, see how quickly time flies when you pick 7 coworkers "to live in a house...work together and have their lives taped... to find out what happens... when people stop being polite... and start getting real"...The Real World: Corporate America.
-KC Jones
Go Get it DMX Style!
It's Friday! I have to work tomorrow! So pumped! Party Up indeed, bitches.
-Big Ran
Who's Fired Up for the Start of the Baseball Season?
I am a huge baseball and Sox fan, but the start of this season is really weird. I mean, its friggin' snowing. Weird. I feel like there should be football this weekend, not the start of the baseball season or anywhere near the NBA playoffs. Playoffs?!
The good thing is that now there's sports to watch literally every night.
PS: If Papelbon continues to suck this year, I think we found a slump buster for him.
-Big Ran
Lunchtime Look-a-Like
Andrei Kirilenko, aka AK-47, and the dude crushing the accordion while covering AC-DC.
Tell me this dude and AK-47 have ever been in the same place at the same time. You can't. Andrei plays a mean accordion.
-Big Ran
-Big Ran
Irrational Rant...Overstuffed Paper Towel Dispensers
You know those things that should piss you off, but do way more than they ever should? Well, today we have friggin' overstuffed paper towel dispensers.
With that said, my man does not need to cram 500 more paper towels into a dispenser every day that maybe like 4 people use. I just end up with bits of paper towel in my hands and all over the floor.
-Big Ran
Now, I've got love for our cleaning dude. He always looks disappointed in me when I am still in the office when he gets here. I can see it in his eyes, "Dude, go home, do something with your life."
With that said, my man does not need to cram 500 more paper towels into a dispenser every day that maybe like 4 people use. I just end up with bits of paper towel in my hands and all over the floor.
-Big Ran
So, College Students Now Need a Website to Hook Up? Really?
I came across this story on The Boston Channel website: a website that offers no strings attached sex at colleges (check the video). I thought all you needed to do was go to dollar draft night and grind your junk on some chick's butt.
Chick at the 1:25 mark? She's down like James Brown for some casual sex. That furious clicking you hear is every dude at Brown facebooking her.
Chicks at 1:50 mark? Nobody wants to have sex with you anyway.
-Big Ran
Friday Morning Jam
Just a little something to get the loins going with someCube and "It Was a Good Day." We'll all ease into it on this crappy Friday morning.
-Big Ran
Celtics Play Up To the Competition Once Again
Celts once again play up to their competition and recapture their championship mojo against the Spurs.
-Big Ran
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