Don't Change that Channel!

Most of us have itchy fingers and immediately start flipping through the channels as soon there is a commercial break during a show we are watching. I, however, have been enjoying commercials more than regular television lately. Tonight reminded me of that and I wanted to call attention to my favorite advertisements over the past few years. Now, we all know that Big Ran's favorite is the mini-series for "Certain Dri", and while I agree that it is phenomenal because it really keeps you glued to your seat & wanting more, I have a few others that I am completely taken with or astounded by:

1. Dunkin' Donuts- "Alarm Clock Catastrophe"- Love it or Hate It (and I love it!) once this started airing, I couldn't get it out of my head for months. And I still have it in my head on a regular basis. Even if you hate it, it rings true. And it always leaves me craving a blueberry bagel & an iced tea!


P.S. Is that John Goodman on the voice over at the end?

2. Massengill- "Do You Douche?"- Right, this is a normal conversation most mothers and daughters have had, especially on the beach. Admittedly, this is not a 'recent' commercial, but it is timeless to me, and I feel fresh and clean just watching it. Douche is one of those products that doesn't need advertisements, but I am always anxiously awaiting new ones as they are so insane! Remember, the family that douches together, stays together.


3. Sour Patch Kids-"First They're Sour, Then They're Sweet"-This line of commercials (I have put links to several of them) are pure marketing genius as far as I'm concerned. The first time I ever saw one, I was so taken,  I started asking everyone around me if they had ever seen them. Whoever came up with these deserves a promotion & raise STAT! I might be a simpleton, but few commercials have made me laugh this hard!








4. Skittles-"Singing Bunny"-I have NO idea what is going on with this commercial, it has NO point at all, but that's why I love it so much. It's obnoxious and addictive all at once. It has NOTHING to do with the candy, yet it makes you remember Skittles. How scary is the rabbit?


5. Orbit Gum-"Spin the Bottle"- Every single second of this commercial is hilarious. There are so many sexual innuendos and again, I wish I had half the creativity of the people who came up with this. How ridiculous is the cat? Even though I don't chew gum, I'll start buying this product in bulk to encourage more of these insane clips!



And finally, the commercial that prompted this post:

6. Herb Chambers-"We've Got What You Need"- I saw this for the first time tonight. Seemingly, it is completely random--we've got Red Sox player Kevin Youkilis at the piano with Herb Chambers covering Biz Markie (who is getting a LOT of press in "The Takeover" this week!) and then...well...look who shows up! However, it's not that random because apparently this song is Youk's walk up music. What a funny dude! Nothing like a manly athlete poking fun at themselves! Also, just a reminder, since we're talking about the Red Sox, I HATE Heidi Watney.


There are plenty of other awesome commercials as well, but I just wanted to throw a few out there to inspire all of our readers! 

-KC Jones

*Big Ran Note:  I just wanted to add this since there was already a Skittles ad:

Great Time Killer

Slideshow of Notorious Teacher Sex Scandals

Two great things about the slideshow:

1.  It's only female teachers, so it is totally socially acceptable.  I mean, the teachers have to be tapped, but good for the young hustlers.  Male teachers and young girls?  That sh!t is gross.

2.  KC Jones' favorite, Mary Kay Letourneau (now Letourneau-Fauulau!) is featured with current photos!

-Big Ran

KC Jones Comments: Yes, Big Ran & I have enjoyed discussing #2 many, many times...Tell me where I can find a minor like Villi Fauulau....And naturally, I must supply my favorite pic of all-time:

Headline of the Day

If he hadn't been naked, cops might not have found raccoon

Police: Man arrested for streaking near NASCAR track had girlfriend, masked mammal in car

NASCAR fans got an eyeful over the weekend in Bristol, Tenn., when they spotted a man streaking across a busy parking lot near the track.


Police said they arrested Joshua Greene, 27, from Parkersburg, W.Va., for streaking through the lot off Route 394 Saturday afternoon.

"I'm walking up through here and here he comes, back up and stops in front of the band waving and spinning in circles and stuff," explained Tim Lee, a witness, to WCYB-TV.

Police gave chase and caught Greene in a nearby neighborhood.

The incident got even stranger when police officers found Greene's car. In it, officers said, they discovered Greene's girlfriend and a furry companion.

"With that we also found that he and a companion were in possession of a raccoon," said Bristol Police Capt. Matt Austin.

Police called in the Tennessee Wildlife Resources Agency to take the masked animal into custody.

"They said his girlfriend rescued it from a park, but as far as where it actually came from, we couldn't really say for sure," Austin said.

Greene is facing charges of public intoxication, indecent exposure and possible additional charges from the wildlife agency.

I would have initially bet on this taking place in Florida, but combining Tennessee and West Virginia also totally works.  My question is, how does one rescue a raccoon?  They "rescued him from a park."  Was he being abused?  Was he trapped in something?  Raccoons are vicious, so they must have drugged it, right?  Not to revert to stereotypes, but they are from West Virginia; don't you think they could have been planning to eat the raccoon?  The naked dude was probably so pumped for coon stew that he had to celebrate with a little helicopter dick action in the parking lot.  Don't hate the playa, hate the game.

-Big Ran

WTF Happened to Matthew Fox?

This is Matthew Fox's mugshot after being arrested in Cleveland for punching a female bus driver in the chest and stomach.  I mean, as if that's not crazy enough, look at this f*cking picture!  man, I thought when "Lost" ended I was bummed about the ending, but Matthew Fox must have just started boozing non stop and eating deep fried turkeys with Ricki Lake.  I guess when you are on a tropical island for years and only eat some fruit and fish then go back to booze and processed foods you are bound to get a little bloated.

This was the before:

This happened in like a year and a half.  Damn.  I am guessing his next stop is either rehab to avoid jail time or the "Biggest Loser" to shed all the booze and turkey weight.

-Big Ran

KC's comments: That's a damn shame. From the female perspective, it's a huge loss---he was a good looking dude now he resembles the Stay Puff Marshmallow Man, but not even remotely as cute as that character...what a shame

Stuck in My Head

PANAMA!  PANAMAAH!  PANAMA!  PANAMAHAHAUHUHOH!  PANAMA!

This is one of those songs that is always running through my head and anytime I hear any word that sounds remotely like Panama, I start singing this.  Also, ever since I found out that I am actually going to Panama for work, it has been running on double time.

How much coke do you think Van Halen did in the 80s?  They probably made Tony Mantana look like a pansi.