Errbody have a great weekend, hopefully you have Monday off!
-Big Ran
Friday, September 2, 2011
Well, If It's Gonna Be That Kind of Party...
Charter school accused of becoming adult club at night in Miami-Dade
MIAMI-DADE COUNTY— By day, the Balare Language Academy is an A-rated charter school, home to children in kindergarten through middle school.
But when the kids are tucked into bed, Balare apparently becomes a playground of a different kind.
Party fliers, printed and on the Web, indicate that the campus at 10875 Quail Roost Dr. has been hosting raunchy, booze-soaked bashes into the wee hours. One flier for an upcoming party features a voluptuous, scantily clad woman posing with champagne bottles. Another shows a woman in a string bikini bending over suggestively and a man with flashy jewelry sitting on a stack of currency in front of a gold sports car.
Asked if the school was hosting any parties, founder and principal Rocka Malik responded: "Not that I'm aware of."
School attorney Marlon Hill said Balare is investigating.
"The school takes this type of allegation very seriously and with the highest priority," he said, adding that it sublets the space to two churches on the weekends.
Parents at the school were the first to sound the alarm this week.
The school district received complaints from parents who wondered why there were empty beer bottles at their child's school. They also complained about a lingering smell of smoke — and those provocative party promotions advertising Push it to Da Limit Pt-1: The Flossin Edition this coming Saturday.
On Thursday, the district sent the Language Academy a sternly worded letter reminding operators that the property is zoned to be a school and not a nightclub.
The complaint specifically called attention to the fliers.
"All advertisements include the promotion of alcoholic beverages in addition to inappropriate images for school-age children," Deputy Superintendent Freddie Woodson wrote.
There's little the district can do. Charter schools are funded by taxpayer dollars, but run by private or nonprofit boards independent of the school district.
Under state law, the district can close a charter school only if the school is in financial distress or has received a series of failing grades from the state Department of Education.
Balare, which boasts a bilingual curriculum, did receive a failing grade in 2010, and was threatened with closure at that time. When the F turned into an A this past summer, the school got a reprieve.
Malik said people must be using the school's address in their advertisements but planning to hold the parties somewhere else.
If so, they've done it before.
The school district found advertisements for two other parties at the address that took place over the summer: the Elegant Birthday Bash and the Skinny B'Day Celebration.
Photos of both events were posted on Facebook and show hundreds of partygoers dancing in a large space and pouring alcohol in a cramped kitchen. The virtual photo albums say the events took place at 10875 Quail Roost Dr.
Calls to the party promoter — Outlaw Skinny Promotions, which lists its address on Facebook at 10875 Quail Roost Dr. — were not returned.
Hill, the school's attorney, said Balare had already delegated staff to investigate claims that the school is doubling as a party palace at night.
He said staff plans to visit the school over the weekend "to assess whether any unapproved activities are indeed taking place without the knowledge and notice of the school."
Of course the staff plans on visiting the school of the weekend. If "Push It To Da Limit: The Flossin Edition" was coming to my office, you bet your ass I am there. Don't forget about the fact that it is hosted by Jiggy Dre. Let me into this party and let me in yesterday!
How about the Principals response, "Not that I am aware of." That's like being in a Congressional hearing and responding, "I do not recall, senator" to every incriminating question. You know what I think? I think the principal is Jiggy Dre, possibly Carib Flexx.
-Big Ran
KC Jones Comments: This is an unbelievably awesome article. Could you even IMAGINE something like this going on? And yes, Big Ran is right about the principal's response being equivalent to "I do not recall, senator"....and now I'm having flashbacks to the Clinton/Lewinsky debacle ("It depends on what your definition of 'is', 'is').... Good find Big Ran, good find! And, what is wrong with the school hosting raunchy, booze-soaked bashes into the wee hours as long as it's not during school hours? God, with the right cover charges err'body up in the school during the week could be sporting new IPads. If that happens, I bet no one will be complaining when "Soul Train: The Dirty Version" resumes each Friday night....Budget problems resolved!
The Loser List
Since it's Friday, I am out of ideas and I want to avoid actual work I get paid for as long as possible, I figured I throw some sort of list out there. Today I am going to throw up (literally and figuratively) what at least right now are my five LEAST favorite movies. These were all brutally painful to watch and with Netflix and Redbox, hopefully I can help you avoid some clunkers.
The Beach
This one is funny because this is literally, one of my best friend's favorite movies, but since we have pretty much opposite taste in just about everything, I guess that shouldn't surprise me. Watching the trailer is great because it is so dated by the music. Moby, Live, pure late 90s action there. This movie is pretty brutal though, the plot is so thin and it is so overacted, maybe it is worth the unintentional comedy, but not sure.
Australia
Let's put it this way. I fell asleep for 45 minutes in the middle of this movie and I still saw over two hours of it. They tried SO hard to make this an epic Oscar winner by including everything possible: racial strife, class strife, war, forbidden love, terrible effects, everything. So, so bad. This may be #1 on my list.
Just Go With It
You know when you are on a plane and you don't have your own TV, but they are playing a movie so you just start praying that as you flip through the airline magazine to see the schedule that it is something good? I think I was flying from Dallas to Boston and this played. Terrible script, terrible acting, I wanted to punch the children in it, and the other comedian, Nick Swardson, is brutal. The only positives were Brooklyn Decker and Jennifer Aniston in bikinis. However, you know my philosophy: T!ts or GTFO. This movie can GTFO.
Hall Pass
Mrs. Big Ran and I saw this last week and I thought it might be amusing and entertaining enough for a rental. I had no idea the Farrelly Brothers directed this movie, but knowing that they did just illustrates their downward spiral. They should have hung up the 'ol directors chairs after Dumb and Dumber, or at least after There's Something About Mary. Individually, I like the four main actors: Jason Seduksigfhazgklsdjghdf$%& from SNL, Owen Wilson (the Wilson bro with the weird nose), Pam from The Office, and Kelly Bundi. However, it looked like they got the script five minutes before filming and that the script had been finished on the drive to the set. F*cking terrible. I thought funny hi-jinks would ensue. Nothing funny ensued.
It's Complicated
Big name cast with Meryl Streep, Alec Baldwin, and Steve Martin (also Jim from The Office), but no support from the script. Just let these people go and it will be fine. Instead their characters were all neutered versions of themselves. The part that set me over the edge was when Streep and Baldwin's characters get back together for a bit, all their adult children freak out. There was a scene where all the adult children were huddled in a bed together because they were so upset. The characters were supposed to be from 21 to early 30s and this is what is going on? You are adults whose parents have been divorced for 10 years. It was at this point I wanted to murder these people.
So, in conclusion, these movies blow, you will not get the time given back to your lives if you choose to watch them. Also, if you have seen these movies and actually like them, I am very, very sorry that your parents dropped you on your head as a child. I award you no points and may God have mercy on your soul.
Happy Friday, bitches!
-Big Ran
Stuck in My Head
This one's for KC because I cannot get this song out of my head ever since KC mentioned Adele yesterday. Not a bad jam to have stuck in your head, but what really makes it are, once again, the YouTube comments:
Top Comments
- i like the part where they say"rumor has it, rumor has it, rumor has it!"carmenlo05 3 weeks ago 25
- this iss the lying game thyme song!!!! and i luvitmightymidnight15 4 weeks ago 18
- yhe 3 yr old boy i babysits sings along to this song n its soooooo cute! <3
- LIKES
- i am doing a jazz dance to this and it is the best song to do REALLY is quite amazing!!!! <3It makes you wanna go and rub in it in the girl's face who's bf left her for you :)tootiebottieandpooki 3 days ago 3
I am going to salvage my manhood with this one. I rocked this at the gym yesterday and it was awesome.
-Big Ran
PS: First blog to ever have Adele and Giving Up the Nappy Dugout in the same post? Probably. Just making history, no big deal.
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