Because I'm Suave, You Can Suck It

Eight hundred and thirty nine!

I just figured I would pass this along.  I laughed a few times.

-Big Ran

Two For One: Lunchtime Look-a-Like AND Are These People Good Looking?

Cate Blanchett VS. Anne Heche...WHO YA GOT?

F*cking Double Jeopardy here folks.  Are these ladies good looking and they look-a-like!  Two for one, buy one get one, doubleshot Tuesday, Wilford Brimley Double Boner Bonus!  Prepare to have your minds blown.

In one corner we have Cate Blanchett:

Tale of the Tape:

Name: Catherine Élise Blanchett

Birthdate: May 14, 1969 (age 42)

Birthplace:  Melbourne, Victoria, Australia

Height:  5' 8 1/2" (tall drink of water)

Known for:  Elizabeth, The Lord of the Rings, Babel, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, Benjamin Button, Hanna, The Aviator

Awards: British Academy of Film and Television Arts Award for Elizabeth, Golden Globe for Elizabeth, Academy Award for The Aviator

Bonus: Extra credit for having a small uncredited roll in Hot Fuzz, funny ass movie

In the other corner, we have Anne Heche:

Tale of the Tape:

Name: Anne Celeste Heche
Birthdate: May 25, 1969 (age 42)
Birthplace: Aurora, Ohio, USA

Height:  5' 5"

Known for:  Donnie Brasco, Wag the Dog, Six days Seven Nights, Hung, dating Ellen Degeneres  

Awards: Won a Daytime Emmy in 1991, nominated for some other crap

Bonus:  Claims to have been molested by her Dad which contributed to her insanity

OK, first off, these two look alike when you check out specific pics on google.  Second of all, they were born within 11 days of each other.  Blanchett can go from looking beautiful to kind of creepy.  She;s got a bit of an unnerving smile, like she may kill you in your sleep.  Heche jumped into fame for dating Ellen Degeneres and has seen middling success.  Hung is a great show, too bad it's been cancelled.

Results...In my opinion, Cate Blanchett, good looking.  Anne Heche?  I can't figure it out.  Maybe its the Ellen thing and her self proclaimed insanity that is pushing me to say no.  Career wise, Blanchett wins in a landslide, but in an actual fight, Heche in a bloodbath.  Blanchett would have the reach, but you can't teach crazy, you have to earn it, live it.  Heche has.

-Big Ran

PS:  I know I could have put in some effort and really worked this blog, but truth be told, I got to a point and just said, "good enough."  You know the feeling.

Super Terrific Happy Hour

Damn.  Sometimes I miss travelling to Asia for work, because, once in a while, you see something so awesome it makes the 18 hour flight totally worth it.

You do you, Japan.  You crazy sons of bitches.

-Big Ran

Stuck In My Head

OK, so I have two things running circles in my head this morning. The first is this Lenovo commercial. A friend of mine mentioned it on the book last night and I cannot stop singing that troll's little jam. Sing it with me: Sorry that you lost your files...here's some fruit to make you smile woo ha woo ha.



The second is this crazy honey badger video. This is stuck in my dome because Brent Musburger must have used "Honey Badger" rather than Tyrann Mathieu's actual name in the National Championship game last night.

-Big Ran

PS: Deadspin compiled all of Musburger's "Honey Badger" references, but I can't embed it in the blog, so here's the link: Chronicling Brent Musburger's "Honey Badger" Obsession

PPS: Nick Saban may be the last person on the planet I would want to spend any time with. Imagine trying to have a few beers with him? Just a barrel of f*cking laughs.