Walking (and Losing) in Memphis

If  today were April 1st, I'd be thinking, "Wow, this April Fool's joke by the Spurs is a little extreme given what's at stake--couldn't they have just put a whoopee cushion on Coach Pop's seat instead?". Sadly, it's April 25 and no one is joking. I'm hoping that Big Ran will be merciful towards me in his taunts regarding the pathetic performances by the Spurs in the first round of the playoffs. He'll be right when he says they are playing like geriatrics,  but I love my Spurs, and when they lose, I become distraught. I'm thinking I might have to take of the rest of the week off and seek grief counseling in order to cope with what has gone on thus far.

The Facebook taunts and sarcastic text messages are rolling in and Mr. KC Jones cheered every time Memphis scored against the Spurs.It's a lot for me to take and I'm thinking of joining EHarmony in order to find a nice new boyfriend who happens to be a Spurs fan as well . Seriously, this was the #1 team in the West, the #2 team overall, and they are playing like a youth league team. Tonight they couldn't  hit ANYTHING. Popovich was sitting on the bench, despondent, and a double digit loss was the final result. This, after they were up by 2 at half time and after they swept Memphis in the regular season. The series is now 3-1 and only eight teams have come back from this sort of deficit. Timmy and company are one game away from elimination. How can this be? Is this God punishing the Spurs for Tony Parker's infidelity when he was married to Eva Longoria? I bet she is THRILLED right now, and I don't blame her, but remember Timmy, Manu, and the rest of the innocent victims who are suffering as well.

This is not the team that had a choke hold on the rest of the league throughout the regular season. It's going to take a miracle for them to win the next three straight....but it looks like someone is on their side....

I'll be having a candlelight vigil tomorrow night in anticipation of Game 5 on Wednesday night. If the outcome is not satisfactory on Wednesday night, I'm going to need all sharp objects removed from my reach. I realize this post seems extremely dramatic, and I hope everyone got a good laugh....but that's how seriously I take my Spurs.

So, for now, I'm just going to play this video and cry myself to sleep.


-KC Jones

PS- Go Thunder! Let's get this done tonight---I think Big Ran will agree with my enthusiasm as it relates to Oklahoma City since our boy Perk got shipped there.

Irrational Rant....Motivational Posters

Does anyone else have posters like this hanging in their office?  I do and I have no idea how these would possibly improve the atmosphere or function of an organization.  If you need a poster to inspire you to do your job, you are a loser and you probably like blueberry coffee too.  

There are two hanging in the processing unit of my office, one is for Teamwork, and reads: "It is a fact that in the right formation, a group of wings can achieve twice the flight of a single bird."  The other is for Communication, telling us to "Build bridges, not walls."  First of all, is it a fact about that bird formation shit?  I didn't see any citations from Stephen Hawking or anything.  The second one had to be one of the last "Communication" posters made, because that is some weak shit right there.  They either ran through every other possible saying for communication or this was the writer's inarticulate son that still lives in his or her basement.

I just really don't understand how people can spend money on these.  I realize we may not be breaking the bank, but I am sure they were ordered from Staples, or W.B. Mason, or Dunder Mifflin, with ridiculous, jacked-up prices.  Not only that, but someone took the time to pick one out, either pay to have it framed or did it themselves, and honestly thought, "Wow, this is going to make such a difference in workplace moral."

I would be much more fired up to work in a place that either just put some decent art on the walls or had the stones and sense of humor to hang something like this:

-Big Ran

KC Jones' thoughts: I agree w/ Big Ran 110%, and I have another poster that I'm thinking of putting up in our office here:

They Pullin' Your Vehicle Over, Snatchin' Your Weed Up...

...Tryin' to take it, so you better hide your weed, hide your bong, hide your weed, hide your bong...

Well, Easter weekend was quite exciting for our friend Antoine Dodson, who was arrested for possession of marijuana in his home state of Alabama. I'm sure many of you remember Antoine from his famous "Bed Intruder" interview that was subsequently turned into a song. If not, or if you just want to see it again, see below. Once you've watched, you can scroll down for my commentary on the situation.

Original Interview:



Song:


Now, before you pass judgment on this man, remember what he's been through:
-Someone was climbin' in his windows
-Snatchin' his people up
-Tryin' rape 'em so he had to warn err'body to: hide they kids, hide they wives, and hide they husbands cause they rapin' err'body
-Then he had to take to the airwaves to let the intruder know that he didn't have to confess, because he was comin' to find him because he was so dumb, for real.

After all that, Antoine had to deal with his overnight celebrity status, and, truthfully, it had to be a little overwhelming for him. So, how can you blame the guy for toking up in order to deal with the Post Traumatic Stress?

I wouldn't be surprised if he's found with it again either, especially after this mugshot surfaced. This dude has MUCH better hair than what's being showcased here.

-KC Jones

Update from Big Ran:

A. In the mugshot Antoine looks like a "Who" from How the Grinch Stole Christmas.
B.  If Antoine wants to toke, he needs to move to MA.  Not only is it only a fine, but now the cops can't even use the scent of weed in a car to search for it.
C.  I think Antoine was, in the words of Lawrence Taylor, "set up like a mother f*cker!"  I bet the Alabama police planted evidence.  FREE ANTOINE DODSON!  FREE ANTOINE DODSON!

Lunchtime Look-a-Like

Pretty crazy and I'm not sure how I missed it before, but after watching so much basketball lately, I realized that Ray Allen looks just like the guy that played Jesus Shuttlesworth in He Got Game.  I mean, just like him...

Jesus Shuttlesworth

Ray Allen

I'm not sure who played Shuttlesworth in the movie and it was a while ago, but its still pretty uncanny.  Ray Ray definitely has a twin out there somewhere.

-Big Ran

Suck it, D'Antoni

“I’d like to see him play in Minnesota and see how he does."

This was D'Antoni's quote before Game 4 of the Celts - Knicks series when asked about Rajon Rondo. Rondo promptly responded with 21 points on 8 of 12 shooting, 12 assists, and 5 rebounds.  Hey coach, how's your coaching career working out without Steve Nash?

I just think he's insecure about looking like Tom Skerritt circa Top Gun:

Based on D'Antoni's in-game interviews and when he is mic'd up during timeouts, I have never been happier to have Doc Rivers as the coach of the Boston Celtics.

-Big Ran