I know I have been a dead beat dad of a blogger lately, but hey, Big Ran is a VIP and is pulled in a lot of different directions. However, I just wanted to throw this one up there. I bought my lunch at work today and as I was checking out, there was a rack of snacks with a sign: "We are testing new products! $1 each." So, I take a look, thinking it will be these sweet new futuristic snacks, like Daddy Butter, or something, and here are the "new products" being tested:
Ritz Bits - I'm pretty sure these came out when I was about 7. At the time they blew my mind. Wait, small Ritz crackers with penut butter already on them?! AMAZING!
Pop Tarts - I NEVER got Pop Tarts. I guess I mean that in two ways: my parents never bought them and I still don't comprehend them to this day. They should give you a vile of insulin with every package just as a preemptive strike against the diabetes they will give you.
Quaker Oats Granola Bars - Let's call a spade a spade. These are terrible granola bars. Not remotely satisfying. They claim to be all healthy, but are they still healthy if I have to eat the entire box to feel somewhat satisfied (that's what she said)?
Planters Single Serving Peanuts - Dude, George Washington Carver would be roll over in his grave if you actually thought these were new products.
So these were the exciting products being sampled at work today. What will they think of next? Maybe some Sunny Delight?
Obligatory Chappelle clip...wait for it:
-Big Ran
PS: How about G.W. Carver and his pimp stache. A pimp stache AND peanuts? My man was never lonely at night.
PPS: I misspelled so many friggin' words in this post it was amazing. Between typos and not knowing how to spell, it's actually pretty amazing I'm still employed.
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