Lunchtime Look-a-Like

I couldn't think of anyone who looked like Bron Bron, so I will go with our current favorite whipping boy, Roberto "The Roofie" Luongo.  Not only does hew look like Sacha Baron Cohen, but I imagine him to be a really smarmy Frenchman, like Cohen's character in "Talladega Nights," Jean Girard.

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Uncanny, right?  I actually saw this after I wrote most of this post:

I think the big difference is that Cohen is funny while Luongo is pitiful. Cohen is wildly successful and Luongo roofies chicks at techno clubs.  One game for the Stanley Cup.  PLEEEEEEEAAAAAAASE let Luongo lose his sh!t like last night.

-Big Ran

Looking Good Roberto! Feeling good Alain!

I don't remember, in my lifetime of watching sports, someone who talked this much trash and not only didn't back it up, but looked SO bad that he had to get yanked from a game.  I mean, this was unreal!  Three goals on eight shots, with the first two shots being must stops.  I wonder if those would have been easy saves for Thomas?  Just sayin'.  Have their been two more hateable characters than LeBron James and Roberto Luongo so close together and performing so inconsistently on the big stage?

Anyway, now it's a one game playoff for the Stanley Cup.  The Bruins have scored two goals in three games against Luongo in Vancouver, so they have to prove they can take one on the road.  This is going to be the first game seven for the Bruins in the Stanley Cup.  Considering they are an original six team, that's saying something.  I honestly have no idea what to expect, but they need to be aggressive from the drop and man, if they could ever score first, I may have Bruins Perma Wood.



-Big Ran

Crush This Miserable F*ck

On the lone goal in game 5 and the difficulty in making a save on that type of bounce/shot:

"It's not hard if you're playing in the paint," said Luongo. "It's an easy save for me, but if you're wandering out and aggressive like he does, that's going to happen. He might make some saves that I won't, but in a case like that, we want to take advantage of a bounce like that and make sure we're in a good position to bury those."

F*CK YOU, BRO.

Look, I know the quote his been dissected and over-analyzed by everyone at this point, but on what planet is this a smart thing to say about a goalie who has clearly outplayed you in the Stanley Cup Finals?  I mean, I know he probably had one foot out the door on the way to a techno club, but you have got to be kidding me.

Look at that suse's ugly f*cking face.  He said waht he did because he is clearly jealous of the press Thomas is getting for his outstanding play.  Guess what?  Thomas wouldn't be getting praised if he had given up 12 goals in two games.

Then, when asked about his dumb ass comments the next day, he comes up with this gem:

Claude Julien and Tim Thomas have had perfect responses for all of Luongo's insecure whining.  At this point of the Stanley Cup Finals, should a Vezina Trophy Finalist really need this type of massaging?  

Two things are clear to me:

1.  This dude loves to roofie chicks at techno clubs

2.  This guy needs a serious confidence boost, maybe a life coach or something.  I bet he would love to be part of a flash mob.

-Big Ran

Lunchtime Look-a-Like

In honor of Mike Millbury absolutely CRUSHING the Canucks and specifically the Sedin twins during the broadcast last night, I thought we would us his idea for the "Lunchtime Look-a-Like."

These dudes are straight up creepy.  You know they pull the old switcharoo on their hockey bimbos all the time.  They probably still dress alike and share underwear, really creepy stuff.  Now, while I get the insult, and I have never actually seen the movie "Thelma & Louise," weren't they supposed to be badass?  Like, didn't they rob banks and bang young dudes, and drive off a cliff rather than go to jail?

The Sedin twins are the exact opposite of that.  They haven't brought anything to the table and hopefully it stays that way, especially with this guy manning the net:

-Big Ran

PS:  B's, Let's keep going!

Tuesday Trivia...

I know it's a bit late, but bear with me. Today's burning question is: What the F*ck is a Canuck? Like my rhyming? I knew you would. Well, here's there answer:

ca·nuck/kəˈnək/
Noun: A Canadian, esp. a French Canadian (chiefly used by Canadians themselves and often derogatory in the US).

So, it's fine for Canadians to use it but it's considered derogatory when others use it? Also, this was the best they could do for a team name? Seriously? Maybe that's why Rome was so young and so angry and violently took down Horton. He was just angry that he's playing for a team with a pansy ass name.

I don't know about you, but I have an issue with a team name that can rhyme with Schmucks or F*cks,

In conclusion, we're not afraid of you Vancouver, not in the least and when we say "Canucks", we are using it in a derogatory fashion. See you tonight you dirty, cannibalistic ass clowns!

-KC Jones

Bruin Beatdown of the Canucks Makes it a Series

Obviously, everyone was debating activating Shawn Thornton and sitting Tyler Seguin because the thought was the Bs needed more offense.  Well, it turns out, Thornton was just what they needed.  He didn't have a single point, but clearly made the Canucks uncomfortable and seems to have set a tone for the Bs before they even stepped on the ice.  The dirty hit on Horton really opened the floodgates.

Overall, it was an amazing performance by the Bruins and it will be really interesting to see what happens in game 4.  Best hit of the night?  Thomas crushing Henrik Sedin and his fivehead in the third.  Now, Seguin will be activated for Horton and we'll have to see how the disciplinary hearing shakes out for Rome to see if the Canucks will be down a defenseman.

-Big Ran