I saw about an hour of the Oscars last night and besides being bored out of my mind, I was utterly distracted by Angelina Jolie. Not because she was bringing the heat, but because her f*cking elbows were so distracting. First of all, she saunters up to the mic like everyone really wants to see her, then she waits for the applause when she sticks her leg out of her dress. Hey sweetheart, why don't you put that leg away and eat something. When your elbows are, by far, the widest part of your arm, you've got a problem. Also, it wouldn't hurt if you actually went out in the sun once in a while. Maybe it's just been to long since her last adoption trip to Africa. Bitch would turn to ashes in the sun, I think.
PS: Tracey Gold called and you're making her feel fat. Cut it out.
-Big Ran
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