Iron Mike Continues to Shine

 I wish there was some way I could incorporate "wombshifter" into everyday conversation, but I don't see how this could happen.  Based on this interview and his performance on the Charlie Sheen Roast last night, I think Mike is making a push to become the go to for philosophical debates or reflections on current events.

I mean, Iron Mike has made a major turnaround. From the Hangover, to political commentary, to poetry. That face tattoo is still distracting as sh!t though. No matter how many times I see it, I never get use to it.

 

The more I think about it, Sarah Palin should have, 100%, chosen Glen Rice.  Everything may have worked out better for both of them.  She could be a news reporter, Glen, would still be a retired NBA player, they would probably still have a son playing starting at guard for Georgia Tech (based on both of their athletic abilities), Palin wouldn't be exposed to be dumb as rocks, would probably actually have traveled outside the US, wouldn't have a a grandson who's father's name is Levi, and Glen would have married his true love and not have to watch his ex-wife on "Real Housewives of Miami," and most importantly, she wouldn't be married to a snow mobile racer or whatever her husband is right now.  Win-win all around.

-Big Ran

Never Thought I'd Say It....

Top 5 Reasons Why I Like Hockey

1. Toothless men who just don't care. As long as this sport exists, dentists will be making bank!

2. Canadians acting tough because we all know that's just not their nature!
3. Organ music---did anyone hear "If You're Happy and You Know it" playing in the second period tonight? That really sets the mood for the boxing on skates that may ensue at any moment.
4. Mullets and 1970's/80's style facial hair! Tim Thomas, in particular, looked like he spent a little extra time on his 'stache tonight. From the locker room footage prior to face-off,  it looked like he may have been going for a handlebar look, but I can't find a picture of it yet.
5. Fights erupting for absolutely NO reason besides the fact that they CAN. 

*Side note: Can anyone imagine Mike Tyson on skates? I think he'd be a valuable asset to any NHL team....for a few reasons: Besides his obvious size and stremf', he enjoys biting (which apparently happened during the B's game tonight) and he doesn't  really seem to care about his teeth....

GO BRUINS!

 -KC Jones

Artest for President!

Greetings Takeover readers! First, I have to apologize for my lack of committment to the blog this week, but unfortunately the Corporation took over my life with quarter end. That being said, I'm sure everyone is just fine because we all know that NO ONE is funnier than Big Ran and he held it down all week! Every time I think he can't get funnier, BOOM, he pulls something else out of his sleeve.

Anyway, after this extremely long week that once again had me questioning my choice of college degree, I'd like to unwind by presenting you with what is possibly the most ridiculously hilarious thing I've ever seen/heard. As you might remember, a couple of weeks ago, we celebrated all things Ron Artest in order to congratulate him for winning the NBA Citizenship Award. But, sadly, all good things come to an end, and Wednesday night we were all questioning his actions. Ron Ron got ended up getting ejected and given a one game suspension for pulling a WWE move on the Dallas Mavericks' J.J. Barea. There was simply no need for this move and it hurt my heart, because I thought Ronnie was turning the corner. However, just as I was starting to doubt him, I stumbled across this video:



Okay, are you still in shock? I am. I swear that this is NOT a joke. I didn't make this--quite frankly, I'm not creative or awesome enough to come up with something like this. The dude wrote a rap song called "Afghan Women" and that is actually what the ditty is about. I don't even know what to say. I think if I were an "Afghan Woman" I'd be a little taken aback so say the least. I just kept thinking "What?!" over and over again. For real, a man who has had domestic abuse issues in the past is calling attention to the plight of subjugated Middle Eastern women? And then, I start wondering, 'Is he hitting on them with some of these lyrics?' It's rap lyrics set to ballad music and it's simply mind boggling. I don't know whether to throw up dubs or light some candles. Around the 3 minute mark is where I really lost it. I'd like to say this is ground breaking, and it is, but in a demented way. Also, I find it quite appropriate that the video closes out by flashing the words, "THE PAIN" across the screen, because my abs were in a tremendous amount of it from laughing hysterically for almost 4 minutes.

After seeing this video, I don't think anything will ever surprise me again. As a matter of fact, I'm starting to wonder if he'll be making a run for the White House in 2012. At the VERY least, Obama should consider adding him to his administration's cabinet. Clearly, he's well versed in international issues in addition to his domestic commitments. My only question? Who will be his running mate? Oh wait, never mind, I already know:

For anyone who was living in a cave in Afghanistan: This is Mike Tyson.

*And I have a feeling their campaign signs will feature pigeons, and lots of them*

-KC Jones