Planet of the Apes...

I admit it, I'm a dork, & I've been wasting the afternoon away watching a "Keeping Up With The Kardashians" marathon on E! (I would like to defend myself though because I did go to the gym this morning and had a kick ass workout AND I did some cleaning once I got home). Anyway, I continue having a problem with Kris Humphries....NBA player and now Kim Kardashian's husband (I give it a year....).

First of all, he's just gross & sounds like there isn't a brain in that head of his. He looks like he should have been in "Planet of the Apes" and I'm PRETTY sure he might be the long lost brother of Dirk Nowitzki's lunatic ex-girlfriend Cristal Taylor.

For your consideration:

Cristal Taylor-Queen of the Apes

Kris Humphries-Ape King

Don't you agree? These two are just hideous, both of them...and regardless of my opinion of Kim Kardashian, the fact remains that she is beautiful and could definitely do so much better (both in the personality AND looks department). She is the lesbian crush of heterosexual women everywhere.

Secondly, how can she go from Reggie frigin Bush to THIS? From a woman's perspective, this is just mind blowing and unacceptable. There are so many other men she could get and she chooses a neanderthal. I'm watching him right now on this episode where they are on vaca in Bora Bora and he is making dog noises while in the ocean and whenever he is giving a 'confessional', he sounds ridiculous and he doesn't even look into the camera. Reggie Bush is a phenomenal athlete who has battled through injuries and helped elevate the New Orleans Saints during the 2010 NFL Post Season when they ultimately won the Superbowl. Just like Kris Humphries, right? Ummm...not so much. This dude plays for one of the worst teams in the NBA & despite being the #14 pick in the 2004 draft, hasn't had too much professional success. Granted, some of his stats are decent, and it's not his fault he's been on crappy teams, but the fact remains that Reggie's got it all over him.

Easily two of the best looking people on Earth.

Personally, I think that Kris was just looking for something to do during the NBA Lockout. And sadly, I think our girl Kim took the bait. She's worth more than him, is more well known than him, and is legitimately out of his league! I know it might sound extreme, but I see no difference between Humphries & Sam Cassell, except that Cassell actually has a personality!

The good news is, this marriage will not last long and Kim will have the opportunity to fix her mistake! In the meantime, I will continue singing along to this song that is "Stuck in my Head"....(Sadly there is not an actual video for Sugar Ray's version of the song....btw--I bet Big Ran HATES Sugar Ray....just a feeling)...



-KC Jones

Late Lunchtime Look-a-Like

OK dudes, I am a little out of it today since I have been out of the office for a couple of days and I came in at 1 PM today.  Coming in for a half day at or just after lunch time is really weird.  Its not all bad, you get to sleep later, take your time getting ready, and drive in when there is no traffic, but you are staring down the barrel of having to go into the office all morning, which isn't a lot of fun.  But, I digress...

Onto the Late Lunchtime Look-a-like, and today I am going to give you the old double boner bonus: two look-a-likes.  On the heels of Dirk Nowitzki just crushing the souls of the OKC Thunder and their fans, our look-a-like is in his honor.

First, we have Dirk, who, while I would love to match up with David Hasselhoff, but has a serious twin in Barry Pepper.  Pepper always seems to be "that guy" when you see him in something.  Like, "hey, it's that guy from that movie about stuff!"  He's been in 61*, Saving Private Ryan, is in the Kennedy mini-series now, nothing major, but he doesn't work in a cube.

Does everyone remember the crazy story about Dirk's ex-girlfriend who was arrested for pretending to be pregnant and extorting money from him?  Well, we'll do a look-a-like for that pretty lady as well.

What I really never understood about this was why Dirk was dating/harboring such a homely woman/fugative.  I've been to Germany and you could throw a rock and hit a beautiful woman.  Plus, he's like 7 feet tall and plays in Dallas.  Couldn't he get a better looking gold digger?  This is what I figure would be at his disposal:

-Big Ran