Happy Weekend B!tches!

mashed potatoes

-Big Ran

PS:  That Mashed Potatoes clip is one of my all time favorites and was obviously sampled by the Beastie Boys.  I was at a party once, a little drunk, walked into the kitchen and blurted that out.  There was stunned silence for a minute then people lost it.  The life and times of Big Ran.

I Hope This Doesn't End like Biggie - Tupac

Erik Estrada says George Lopez 'is doomed' 

'The law of God — the law of Karma, is on him right now,' says actor, who has beef with ex talk host

Erik Estrada has no sympathy for George Lopez over the cancellation of his show.

"His show was supposed to be canceled after the first season, but Conan [O'Brien] wanted to keep it on," Estrada told Latina in an interview about competing on the Univision dance show "Mira Quien Baila!"

He added: "There's a lot of things people don't know about this guy ... For me to talk about this guy — I'm wasting my time. The law of God — the law of Karma, is on him right now. He is doomed."

Whoa. The two have feuded for years, Latina reports, with Lopez often taking shots at Estrada's career in his stand-up act and Estrada saying he once confronted Lopez at a church carnival. The former "CHiPs" star said Lopez was afraid to fight him.

TBS canceled Lopez's show, "Lopez Tonight," earlier this month.

First off, how tit was CHIPS?  As a little kid, that show was awesome.  I had a CHIPS plastic motor cycle helmet and everything.  I was a f*cking BOSS with that thing on.  Just patrolling the yard, keeping everything on the up and up.

With that said, is this the lamest feud ever?   A washed up 80s TV star and an un-funny comic.  However, the tidbit about Estrada challenging Lopez to a fight at a CHURCH CARNIVAL is great.  Is this the D-Level star version of Break Dance Fighting?

-Big Ran

Say It Isn't So!

Derek Jeter & Minka Kelly Split

Derek Jeter and Minka Kelly have called it quits after three years together,JustJared.com can confirm.

“The split was amicable,” sources exclusively tell JJ of the 37-year-old Yankees superstar and 31-year-old actress. “But they remain friends. They still really care for each other.”

When JJ contacted her reps, they did confirm the split.

Last month, HBO premiered Deter Jeter 3K, a documentary that chroniclesDerek’s journey of becoming the second player to reach 3,000 hits as a shortstop (the first was Honus Wagner).

Minka is busy in Miami shooting the ABC reboot of the classic show Charlie’s Angels, which is being produced by Drew Barrymore and Leonard Goldberg. Charlie’s Angels, which co-starsRachael Taylor and Annie Ilonzeh, premieres Thursday, September 22, at 8/7c.

First Will and Jada, now Derek and Minka?!  When will it end?  Maybe it is the end of days.  If Will Smith and Derek Jeter really are single now, you better hide yo kids and hide yo wife.  Well, maybe just yo wife.


-Big Ran

Stuck in My Head

We have a bonus today because I woke up at 3:00 AM with this stuck in my head:



Yup. Not the Nas version, but the original. Would you please watch that video? Out-f*cking-standing. Non stop cameos. That is right up there with "Party All the Time" by Eddie Murphy in terms of pure 80s awesomeness. How much coke do you think Kurtis Blow did?

Then, when I woke up around 6 AM, this ditty was kicking around in my dome:



This is unfortunate because it is like a parasite eating it's way through my brain and because Comcast sucks.  F.I.O.S.  Fios, bitches.

-Big Ran

The Birds: Part II

Nope, it's a not a remake of the classic Hitchcock horror movie, but it's a new sort of nightmare involving birds---pigeons specifically. I'd like to share this clip with you that I saw on Fox News Boston last night. I am disgusted, amused, and astounded all at the same time. I'm sure once you take a look, you'll understand why:

Hundreds of pigeons terrorizing neighborhood in Brookline: MyFoxBOSTON.com

Couple of things:

Couple of things:

1. You know it's going to be interesting and awesome whenever someone chooses to be their own attorney in court. This guy just further proves that theory. Listen to him at the beginning of the clip yelling in the court room.

2. I was unaware that you needed certain 'permits' to have pigeons. How did I not know this, you ask? Because I'm not INSANE and would NEVER even want ONE pigeon on my property let alone hundreds in coops as my pets!!

3. What are the odds that this man is going to end up being held for psychological evaluation? He's raising hundreds of pigeons as pets, he's claiming that he brought them up to a location in New Hampshire that is THREE HOURS away and released them only to have them return two months later with "friends" apparently.... The one minute mark is the highlight of this clip: "And I warned them, if I released them they were going to come back with more birds because they've been here for 10 years".....Listen, pigeons are rats with wings and I highly doubt they have the intelligence to do what he is claiming that they did.

4. In a day and age when there are so many terribly sad, depressing, and enraging stories on the news, it's nice to see that there are some people keepin' it real and standing up for what they believe in. Who cares if what they stand for is breeding pigeons? As Mr. Alexanderian explains, the city has a history of making up its own rules, so he's not going to stand for it.

I've got you dude, sometimes you've just gotta fight for your fight.....to paaaaa-rtayyyy (with pigeons)...



P.S. Something tells me that Mr. Alexanderian and a certain Mr. Mike Tyson will be joining forces very soon....




-KC Jones

Irate Irene's Hip Hop Hitlist...

In honor of Hurricane Irene's pending arrival this weekend, I'd like to present the playlist I will be jamming to while I build my ark and while I'm stocking up on water, batteries, and non-perishable items.

1. Bob Dylan: "Hurricane"- there is no better song to kick off this playlist. 


2. Jars of Clay: "Flood"- pretty self-explanatory, right?


3. Seals & Crofts: "Summer Breeze"- okay, so it's a little more than just a summer 'breeze', but you get the point. If you need this song, please refer to today's
"Stuck in my Head" post.

4. Milli Vanilli: "Blame it on the Rain"- I will be lip syncing to this selection (get it?)


5. Notorious B.I.G: "Warning": just want to make sure everyone stays safe.


6. Bob Dylan: "Blowin' in the Wind": this is one of his more coherent songs and is quite appropriate for what we'll be experiencing. Good job Dylan, you've made the same "Takeover" playlist twice!


7. Mobb Deep & Lil' Kim: "Quiet Storm": It may or may not be a quiet storm, depending on its track. Regardless, this is a song that belongs on the list.


8. Fabolous: "Lights Out": There's always a decent chance of losing power during these types of storms, so make sure your boombox has a fresh set of batteries so you'll be able to listen to this playlist.


9. Peter Gabriel: "Here Comes the Flood":


10. Nat King Cole: "Goodnight, Irene": I figured this would be the perfect way to close out the playlist.


-KC Jones

*Big Ran Note:  Bravo!  Bravo!  I will say, seeing two Bob Dylan songs on here was a surprise.  In high school a Jimi Henrdix song cam on the radio and KC asked me if it was a new song.  Fact.

Bitch Set Me Up!

Earthquake Catches D.C. Mayor Off Guard

WASHINGTON (AP) - District of Columbia Mayor Vincent Gray says he was in the car when an earthquake that hit Virginia was felt in the nation's capital.

Gray had planned to spend much of the day at the new Martin Luther King Jr. Memorial on the National Mall, greeting visitors and advocating for the district to gain full voting rights in Congress.

He had left the memorial for a meeting when he felt the car shake. He says he asked, "What the heck's wrong with this car?"

After the earthquake stopped, the car started moving again, and Gray says he saw people evacuating buildings. He didn't know it was an earthquake until he turned on the news.

He scrapped plans to return to the memorial and huddled with emergency officials and senior staff.

That guy?  Caught off guard?  No way.  I don't believe it.  Honestly, is this the most pointless article ever written?  It has to be up there, right?  Who isn't caught off guard by an earthquake, especially on the east coast.  I would love to see a reporter go up to a person right after a decent earthquake and have the person say, "Yeah, that was an earth quake.  What's the big deal?  The east coast gets one of these like once every fifty years.  Big whoop."


If Marion Barry was still the mayor, you know what he would have said about the earth quake?  "Bitch set me up!"  Then smoked crack right in the report's grill.




-Big Ran

KC Jones' Comment: Imagine a city where both Marion Barry AND Buddy Cianci were in charge? If that ever happens, you know where I'll be living!!

Amateur Sketches....

Is it just me or are there a plethora of terribly vague sketches done of possible suspects when a crime is committed? Sometimes, you'll see a very good one---very detailed, clear, and professional looking with certain details that distinguish that person from others in the general public. And then, more often, you see something like this:

Really? This isn't really helping me at all. This could be anyone and I just tend to think that it's not going to result in the capture of the suspect. They say he's a white male in his 20's between 5'7" and 5'8"...that really narrows it down for me. But this sketch seems to suggest that maybe he's Asian as his eyes are more almond shaped than other races. Are we sure he has those bags under his eyes? And how do we know about the earrings? Were those just added as a fun detail or was this dude really wearing them? And, in reading the article and hearing about it on the news, it seemed to have happened very quickly, so I'm not sure the victim in this case would have really noticed the earrings (or lack thereof)....I don't know, I'm just saying....this picture doesn't really help me anymore than this picture would:

Amateur Sketch of the Leprechaun in Mobile, Alabama

-KC Jones

Lunchtime Look-a-Like

So, Big Ran's LTLA from yesterday was truly perfect, and I felt a tremendous amount of pressure to do a good job with my selection today. I think this is a great comparison and might be on the same level as his. Clearly, this is an instance of twins being separated at birth:

No, it is not two pics of Will Ferrell, it is Will Ferrell on the right, and Red Hot Chilli Peppers' drummer Chad Smith on the left. Seriously. Can you believe this? Chad is clearly a little more 'rugged' looking, but that's what happens when you lead a rocker lifestyle. But, other than that, I have a very difficult time telling them apart.

 Now, I don't know if Chad Smith is as funny as Will Ferrell, but, based on his performances in "Stepbrothers", we know that Will is musically gifted! It's also been said that his voice is a cross between that of Fergie and Jesus....




-KC Jones

Holy Sh!t, Look at Hanson!

Get a load of John Lennon after lasik surgery, KD Lang with light facial hair, and an Andy Samburg character on SNL!  These are the Hanson Brothers and they're performing in Boston!

This was the first time I have ever seen this video and let me tell you something, my emotional state fluctuated between rage (wanting to punch their parents in the reproductive organs) and honestly thinking about suicide.  That video just put me in a really bad place.

-Big Ran