In honor of the first Patriots preseason game taking place tonight, let's all get our swole on...
If you don't think Meriweather could at least sing back up for Prince, you're crazy.
-Big Ran
Thursday, August 11, 2011
Stuck in My Head
I actually heard this on the radio yesterday morning, so this makes much more sense that what's been knocking around my head the last couple of weeks. We mention Flo Rida before, but this may have been the first time I have seen the video. I mean, it's better than the music video I don't have, but this is a pretty dumb video.
On another note, I apologize for the commercial at the beginning of the video. Is it the Miracle Whip one for everyone with the fat, sloppy dude talking about the party in his mouth and everyone will be there. Fu*king gross.
-Big Ran
KC Jones Comment: I feel bad that Big Ran has this song stuck in his head, and I feel worse that he had to watch the Miracle Whip commercial. As for me, I have this song stuck in my head......which also has the Miracle Whip commercial in the beginning, but this time featuring everyone's favorite, Pauly D from the Jersey Shore....
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Super Terrific Happy Hour!
We haven't had a Super Terrific Happy Hour in a while, so today we'll contemplate the awesomeness of small town police blotters and how these two crimes could be connected so long as monkeys like beer.
First, from Waukesha, WI:
Theft victim says culprit accompanied by monkey
The victim of a theft said the thief had a black "chimp-looking" monkey with them.
According to a Franklin police report:
A saw was stolen from a parking lot in the 7200 block of South 27th Street prior to 7 p.m. Aug. 3.
The victim said the monkey was with the thief or thieves.
The victim was advised to call police if he sees the monkey again.
Give up your beer!
A word of warning -- give up your beer!
Annapolis police reported this morning:
Robbery – 700 block of Annapolis Neck Rd – 8/10 at 12:28am: A victim was attacked for refusing to give up his beer. After he refused, Gerald Jones, a 46 year old male from Annapolis repeatedly struck the victim in the head with a rock and stick and then fled the scene. Jones was quickly located by police. Gerald Jones is charged with Armed Robbery, 1st and 2nd Degree Assault, and Reckless Endangerment. He is currently being held at the Anne Arundel County Detention Center on $500,000.
Police, unfortunately, don't say what kind of beer was involved.
-Big Ran
PS: I will be out of the office most of the day tomorrow, so I may be a bit light on the old awesomeness.
Lunchtime Look-a-Like
So, like most women, reality TV is a guilty pleasure for me. One of my favorite shows is "Teen Mom" and, while I actually really like 2 out of the 4 girls, but the other two are awful, and Amber (naturally her name is Amber) and her on again, off again beast of a baby daddy are two of the most brutal people I have EVER seen.
With that being said, I'd like to present today's installment of LTLA:
He might also look like Slimer from Ghostbusters....just a thought....
-KC Jones
With that being said, I'd like to present today's installment of LTLA:
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| Gary: large,hairy and in charge |
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| Chewbacca: Large, hairy, and in charge |
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| Captain Caveman...hairy...and in charge... |
-KC Jones
Stock Market Needs to Get It's Sh!t Together
I REFUSE to look at my 401k. What's the point? I worry about the bills I have to pay now, never mind the one's I won't be able to pay if I can ever retire. However, I would read the news more if they came up with headlines like this all the time.
-Big Ran
Amen, brotha!
Jeremy Irons: OK to grope bottoms
HOLLYWOOD icon Jeremy Irons has hit out at political correctness - claiming a woman should "deal with it" if a man gropes her bottom - rather than going to court.
The actor, who stars in Sky Atlantic's new historical drama The Borgias from Saturday, said: "There are too many people in power with too little to do so they churn out laws to justify their jobs.
"Most people are robust. If a man puts his hand on a woman's bottom, any woman worth her salt can deal with it.
"It's communication. Can't we be friendly?"
His outburst is sure to annoy actress wife Sinéad Cusack who wishes Jeremy would bite his tongue more often.
But he refuses to apologise for his frankness.
The Brideshead Revisited star, 62, admitted: "Sinéad criticises me for being too frank. But that's the only way I can be.
"I am what I am and I do what I do."
That's what I'm talking about, Jeremy Irons! Can't we all just get along and alow me to grab that ass? Also, ladies, get in the kitchen and make me a sangwich! Quick story about an accidental groping...
I was in NY for a Sox-Yanks game and we were taking the subway to Yankee stadium. It's obviously packed, so I am trying to squeeze on and move back from the door. On the way in I accidentally and very lightly brush the breast of a very large and in charge woman. At that point it was slow motion and I could either apologize and possibly make a scene or ignore it and move on. I chose option B. I am so thankful I did that because I then heard one of the best quotes of all time. The woman turned to her friend and said, "Hey, he just punched me in the titty."
That was so worth the milliseconds of awkwardness.
-Big Ran
Stuck in My Head
I am totally serious. I'm not Rick Rolling your asses. Let me paint a picture for you. I get up at 5 AM to take our puppy out, so I have her in one arm while I am taking a leak and singing this song.
On another note, this song always makes me think of the Cleveland Cavaliers because they would play this in the 4th quarter when they were blowing teams out. Then I think of LeBron screwing that city over. Then I think of Delonte banging LeBron's Mom and I am happy again.
-Big Ran
PS: at the 2:06 mark a dude inexplicably jumps up against a chain link fence. The budget for this video had to be like $38.
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
It's Not a Toomah, it's Just a T Shirt
It just seems odd to me that Ahnold is wearing this t shirt. Isn't he the one that has several illegitimate love children with horrific half-woman, half-wookie women?
On another note, WTF is up with his knees? Clean that sh!t up, Arnie. The dude did enough illegal performance enhancing drugs that he must have some leftover HGH he can shoot in there or something.
-Big Ran
KC Jones Comment: Wow Big Ran, you continue to impress me. Seriously though, WTF is up w/ that T-Shirt? It's more like she survived dealing with him, his neanderthal body and face structure and his inability to clearly communicate in the English language. And she did all of this while, as Big Ran notes, he was impregnating a wookie. Now, my issue is this: people say women chase married men for their money (if they have it), but I'm not buying it. Seriously. I don't care how much money a dude has; if he's busted I'm not going NEAR that ish! Not to mention the fact that I am not a home wrecker, a slut, or a skank. We've all made our mistakes, I'm just happy I made smaller ones, earlier on, and got them out of the way! As far as his knees go, I can present only one comparison:
And In Other Random News About States That Start With The Letter "I"....
Idaho man in bunny suit is scaring kids, say cops
William Falkingham
(Credit: Idaho Falls Police Department)A police report says officers responded Monday after a resident reported her son had been frightented by 35-year-old William Falkingham, clad in a black bunny costume. Falkingham reportedly had been hiding behind a tree and pointing his finger at the boy like it was a gun.
It was also reported he occasionally wore a tutu with the costume.
Police said they talked to Falkingham and told him not to wear his bunny suit in public, reports CBS affiliate KIFI. Falkingham said he enjoys wearing the outfit, but understands his neighbors' concerns.
Maybe Captain Save A Ho should fly on over to IdaHO to save those peeps from this creep! Okay, here are the disturbing facts, listed by increasing ridiculousness:
- He is a 35 year old MAN dressing up as a bunny.
- He sometimes wears a tutu with the costumes.
- He's climbin' in yo' windows, snatchin' yo people up....oh...wait, sorry, that was "The Bed Intruder", I was confused.....He's hiding behind trees and scaring children, and may or may not believe that his hand is an actual weapon.
- And I quote, "he says he enjoys wearing the outfit"
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| I bet she's not in counseling now... |
*Big Ran note: Dude is running around town scaring kids in a black bunny costume? That sh!t is racist.
Iowa Police Abuse Power, Arrest Captain Save-a-Ho
press-citizen.com - A self-professed protector of women was arrested for public intoxication Monday afternoon.
Police said Navarre showed signs of intoxication, admitted to drinking and told officers he was “a little drunk.” He refused pre- and post-arrest breath tests.
The man allegedly told officers he is “needed” on the Pedestrian Mall to “protect women.” He goes by “Captain Save-A-Ho,” police said.
Navarre has a lengthy criminal record with various arrests for intoxication, burglary and escape from custody, according to online court records.
Navarre has been charged with public intoxication.
Did the riots in LA after the beating of Rodney King teach us nothing? You cannot allow the police to overstep their boundaries or else it will take its toll on society. I blame this strictly on jealousy. These cops were worried about Captain Save-a-Ho taking all the headlines like Spiderman or Batman. It is simple insecurity. Let the Captain save his hoes, he's the expert, the specialist, if you will, in ho saving. The police can tend to everything else. The Captain has the hoes covered.
-Big Ran
KC Jones Comment: I agree, and they SHOULD be worried and jealous, I mean, look at this guy....who WOULDN'T want to hit that? See that hole in his shirt? That's from all the hos fighting over him!
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