Stuck In My Head

Ma phukkin' jam.

-Big Ran

Stuck In My Head

Just as a little insight, they could have just followed me around for a day and gotten very similar footage.

Hump day, bitches.  Go get it.

-Big Ran

PS:  How great is the still shot on the YouTube clip before you hit play.  BOOM.  A$$ ALL UP IN YO FACE!

Blue Uniform Balls

Does anyone remember a while back when "prototypes" of the upcoming Nike NFL uniforms were released and they looked like this:

Well, the top photo is the actual Nike uniform for the Patriots and let's be honest, it's exactly the same as what they're wearing now.  They can yammer on about being tougher and lighter, and tougher for opponents to grab, but WTF, Nike?  Big time let down.  Now, granted, that prototype looks like some AFL/Arena League stuff, but at least give me something.  

Nike makes the Oregon Ducks and Baylor Bears look like futuristic alien warriors, so why can't we do a little something with the NFL unis?  ESPN has an article with links to a bunch of photos as well as an explanation as to why some unis are exactly the same.  

I expected more from Nike becasue they always seem to push the envelope, but maybe the No Fun League and Roger Goodell were wet blankets once again.

-Big Ran

Brought To You Without Blogger Interruption

I think I now have a rock-solid all time top five YouTube video list.

-Big Ran

Google Searches and Tuesday Trivia

Based on the fun of my earlier Google searches, here are some answers to trivia you could use one day:

1.  Why are manhole covers round?

From Wikipedia:

• A round manhole cover cannot fall through its circular opening, whereas a square manhole cover may fall in if it were inserted diagonally in the hole. (A Reuleaux triangle or other curve of constant width would also serve this purpose, but round covers are much easier to manufacture. The existence of a "lip" holding up the lid means that the underlying hole is smaller than the cover, so that other shapes might suffice.)
• Round tubes are the strongest and most material-efficient shape against the compression of the earth around them, and so it is natural that the cover of a round tube assume a circular shape.
• Similarly, it is easier to dig a circular hole and thus the cover is also circular.
• The bearing surfaces of manhole frames and covers are machined to assure flatness and prevent them from becoming dislodged by traffic. Round castings are much easier to machine using a lathe.
• Circular covers do not need to be rotated to align them when covering a circular manhole.
• A round manhole cover can be more easily moved by being rolled.
• A round manhole cover is cheapest to manufacture relative to other shapes because it requires the least amount of metal to cover an opening wide enough for a person to get through.
• Most manhole covers are made by a few large companies. A different shape would have to be custom made.
• If a manhole cover were to be displaced by a car or anything else, it could easily slip back into position and would not have to have any angles matched up.
• If a manhole cover were to be displaced it would not pop or damage the tires of an automobile.

Honestly, who thought reading about manhole covers could be so interesting.  That page is a good read.

2.  Why This Kolaveri Di?

OK, so here's Wikipedia again:

"Why This Kolaveri Di" (Tamil: வொய் திஸ் கொலவெறி டி, Voy Tis Kolaveṟi Ṭi ^?; English: Why This Murderous Rage, Girl?^[1]) is a Tamil song from the soundtrack of the Tamil film 3, which was released on 30, March 2012. Written and sung by Dhanush, the song was composed by music director Anirudh.

Oh, word?  This sh!t is hot off the presses!  We are so hot in India right now!  Check it out, I am feeling the beat.  Also, this dude is the Indian Fisticuffs with those headphones.  Honestly, this thing is blowing up and making Bieber look like a has been.

3.  Last one:  Why are smart people usually ugly?

mydilemm...

Resolved Question

Show me another»

Why are smart people usually ugly?

Just wondering...........

• 3 months ago
• Report Abuse

Additional Details

I am not ignorant and I absolutely do not differentiate between people who are beautiful and who are not. The reason why I asked this question is because I had recently seen an article on the net about this topic. But I did not get time to read it.

3 months ago

This broad must be a super model, because she might be the dumbest person on the planet.

"I am not ignorant" - FALSE - if you are asking these types of questions, you clearly are.

"I absolutely do not differentiate between people who are beautiful and who are not" - FALSE - you are asking the question so you do.

"The reason why I asked this question is because I had recently seen an article on the net about this topic. But I did not get time to read it." - TRUE!  This I believe, because I doubt she can read.


-Big Ran

Why the F*ck are Printer Cartridges so Expensive?

Now, admittedly, I never use our printer at home, so I haven't even looked at printer in cartridges since college.  So, yesterday, my wife asked me to pick up ink cartridges on the way home from work.  First off, I have no idea how we ran through previous ones we had, but that's really neither nor there.  My wife is a nice, talented, creative person, so she is helping one of her coworkers with wedding shower invitations and volunteered to print them out.

I stop at Dunder Mifflin Staples on the way home and I honestly don't remember the last time I set foot inside a Staples.  I could be a recluse as long as I had internet access and a credit card, because, really, what can't you buy from Amazon?  So, I wander around for a few minutes before finding ink cartridges, then have to look through a stupid little book like I am buying spark plugs at the auto store.  They have the black cartridge (is that racist?  Should it be African American cartridge?) sold individually, but not the color one, so I have to get this "Value Combo Pack."  Let me tell you something about this "Value Combo Pack:" it loosely translates to "You Better Take Out a Second Mortgage Pack."  52 f*cking dollars for printer cartridges.  Oh!  I almost forgot!  I also get photo paper!  Thank God, because I run through photo paper like nobody's business.  F*ck you, Canon photo paper.

This chick better reimburse us for these printer cartridges or else it's coming off the wedding gift.  No f*cking joke.  You're going to get a card, a smaller check, and a copy of this Staples receipt.

In any event, I go to Google to figure out why printer cartridges are so God damned expensive, when my day is made by the auto complete searches:

This one is more run of the mill, but I could not answer any of those questions.  I am guessing manhole covers are round so you can roll them to a truck or something rather than having to carry them because they are crazy-heavy.  I can't even begin to guess what that last questions means.

This was the one that got me:

"Why are smart people usually ugly" as an auto search.  So, worldwide, that is the most common search after "why are?"  Good lord.  That's fantastic, but it doesn't get printer cartridges off the hook for costing more than caviar.

-Big Ran

Unfortunately Stuck In My Head

This is what passes for the National Anthem at a major sporting event nowadays, huh?  A bunch of f*cking hipsters in skinny jeans?  Hey, nice drum, bro.  All you could muster up for an appearance on national television with teams representing two red states was a f*cking v-neck t-shirt?  That sh*t better be organic cotton or I'll be pissed.

When your intro is "Welcome Grammy-nominated and internationally acclaimed, world-touring band, The Fray," I just don't think that's gonna get people amped for a National Championship.

1:15 - John Calapari is clearly hoping the jumbo tron falls on these dudes.

1:20 - Bill Self, the Kansas coach, is definitely doing his best to stifle his laughter.

Two dudes singing on one mic is never a good look.

-Big Ran

PS:  No f*cking cowbell?

Stuck In My Head

Sorry I have been a deadbeat blogger, bros.  I'll hit it up more next week.  I'm feeling this jam right now; just mad emotional, dogg.

Also, you can't beat the description the person who uploaded this wrote:

"Yes, you did just cum in your pants."

-Big Ran

I Don't Know How I Feel About This

Not to go all "Dawson's Creek" all over your asses, but I really don't know how I feel about this cover.  I've been going back and forth since I heard it on Thursday.

So, I guess I'll go with the pros first.

1.  She doesn't drop an N-Bomb.  At least that I could tell.  There was one spot early where the sound was dropped, so I'm not 100% sure.

2.  She swears.  I honestly didn't think she would.  I love swearing, so that's a positive for me.

3.  She has some flow.

The cons:

1.  The Yankees hat.  It's not because I am a Red Sox fan, that sh!t is just played out unless you are actually a fan or at least from NYC.

2.  A few cringe-worthy moments, like throwing up the Jay-Z Roc symbol.  I wasn't feelign that.  Also, throwing the Fish Filet line to the audience and they didn't say anything.  Tough.

3.  Her guitar player.

Overall, I give her credit for giving it a shot, but I won't be downloading her version.



-Big Ran

It's All About the Benjamin....

...and yes, I know that the real song title is plural, but for me, it truly was all about the Benjamin this weekend. That's right Takeover readers, the most unlucky person in terms of money, yours truly, won $100 on a $2 scratch ticket. Naturally, because I never win ANYTHING, you would have thought I was a millionaire.

 

I stopped at the package store near my house before going to a friend's house on Saturday night. They didn't have my Shock Top Raspberry Wheat, so I left and stopped at another one I'd never been to before. In addition to my 6 pack (of which I consumed only 1.5- my limit), I bought five $2 scratch tickets. I told the cashier I didn't care which ticket it was as long as it was 5 of the same one. Well, he made a great choice as I won ten dollars ten times on one of the tickets! Best night ever. I did hallucinate on the last $10 though and thought it said $10,000. Could you even imagine? Yeah, me neither.

The winning ticket!

Maybe my lucky streak will continue, I mean, after all, I AM a winner at life. I get to sit in a cube all day!

-KC Jones