I Don't Know How I Feel About This

Not to go all "Dawson's Creek" all over your asses, but I really don't know how I feel about this cover.  I've been going back and forth since I heard it on Thursday.

So, I guess I'll go with the pros first.

1.  She doesn't drop an N-Bomb.  At least that I could tell.  There was one spot early where the sound was dropped, so I'm not 100% sure.

2.  She swears.  I honestly didn't think she would.  I love swearing, so that's a positive for me.

3.  She has some flow.

The cons:

1.  The Yankees hat.  It's not because I am a Red Sox fan, that sh!t is just played out unless you are actually a fan or at least from NYC.

2.  A few cringe-worthy moments, like throwing up the Jay-Z Roc symbol.  I wasn't feelign that.  Also, throwing the Fish Filet line to the audience and they didn't say anything.  Tough.

3.  Her guitar player.

Overall, I give her credit for giving it a shot, but I won't be downloading her version.



-Big Ran

Match Made in Heaven

ABC News - Katy Perry and Tim Tebow: Not since Adam and Eve has a couple seemed so divinely meant to be. According to OK! magazine, the newly single pop star’s parents are trying to orchestrate a meeting between her and the Broncos quarterback at their California church.

A source told the tabloid that Perry, who’s getting divorced from Russell Brand, “mentioned on more than one occasion how much she likes Tim.” His selling points: “He’s handsome, charming, intelligent and above all, a good Christian.” 

Perry was a Christian pop star before she started singing about kissing girls and liking it. Her parents, Keith and Mary Hudson, are evangelical ministers. Tebow’s baptist faith has made him a sensation on and off the field. (See:Tebowing.)

Reps for Perry and Tebow did not immediately respond to ABCNews.com’s requests for comment, nor did Perry’s parents. (Though they alluded to Perry’s marital discord motivating people to go to church last week.)

In any case, moving vans were spotted in front of Perry and Brand’s Hollywood Hills home this week. He’s reportedly moving out; she’s keeping the $6.5 million mansion. Might be a nice place to spend the off season, Tim.

Listen, I'm not sure Timmy could handle Katy Perry, I'm just sayin'.  At this point in life, do women think a dude being a virgin is sexy?  Not so sure about that.  And, yes, I made that Tebow pic.  I'm a f*cking artist.



-Big Ran

Stuck in My Head

OK, I know I'm nuts, but I may have serious problems.  I am sure many people wake up with songs stuck in their head.  Every morning I have a song stuck in my head for no apparent reason.  It isn't something I normally listen to or I have heard for a really long time.  Well, this morning, I wake up singing a combination of two songs; perhaps the most random pairing in the history of the erf.

Katy Perry's "Hot 'n Cold," and a song from the Can AM Roadster commercials (the motorcycles with three wheels).  I can't find the right song yet, but I'll get there at some point because I don't want to do actual work I am paid for.



And, just because these dudes are awesome...



-Big Ran

Bonus:  Katy Perry side boob:

Proof There Is a God

Rolling Stone -  It took Perry a while to learn to embrace her body. "I started praying for [breasts] when I was, like, 11," she says. "And God answered that prayer above and beyond, by, like, 100 times, until I was like, 'Please, stop, God. I can't see my feet anymore. Please stop!' I was a lot more rectangular then. I didn't understand my body. Someone in sixth grade called me 'Over-the-shoulder boulder holder.' I didn't know I could use them. So, what I did was, I started taping them down. How long did I tape them down for? Probably until I was about 19. And, no, I don't have any psychological pain because of it."

I'm not trying to get religious on The Takeover, but just in case anyone was on the fence about a higher power, maybe this pushes you over the edge.  Not sure.  Maybe it was just the power of positive thinking.  Whatever it is, they are real and they're SPECTACULAR!

-Big Ran

Lunchtime Look-a-Like

How about these two? Singer Katy Perry (left) and actress Zooey Deschanel (right). I think we might be dealing with twins separated at birth. Look at them. I think that these two look even more alike than the Barber twins, who are actual factual biological twins, who shared a uterus, a birth canal, and all that fun stuff.

For men, the fact that TWO women this beautiful exist is proof that God loves you. The fact that Katy is married to Russell Brand is proof that He also has a raging sense of humor.

And guys?  Please refrain from imagining Katy kissing Zooey a la her award-winning breakthrough song.




-KC Jones