Loose Change

Here are a few things I wanted to cover before heading to the Cs game today.

1.  We are literally the only website in the world that contain's Jason Terry's quote, "I seen her stroke and it's all flame."  I heard this during one of those College Basketball All Star/Skills Competitions they have on ESPN every April after the national championships.  In the Spring of 1999, Jason Terry was at Arizona and lost a three point contest to a women's player.  When the sideline reporter was trying to goad him into saying something stupid about losing to a girl, that's the gem he came up with.  Smooth as silk, that Jason Terry; it has been my favorite quote since then.

2.  You have to check out the following story from the Ottawa Sun about a woman being bitten by a dog.

As a dog owner, I would feel terrible if one of my dogs bit someone and hurt them.  With that said, this woman who was bitten is so full of sh!t on every level it's amazing.  First of all, why the f*ck are you sticking your face in the face of a dog you don't know.  That's f*cking bizarro world stuff right there.  Watch the video, because I'm going point-by-point here:

*She says she wouldn't do it for $50K.  Really?  I mean, her nose is banged up in the picture with the stiches, but please.  I would take a bite from a shih tzu and stiches on my nose for $50K, just sayin'.

*It has been a really rough six months since the dog bite.  Dude.  Stitches, and $50K in six months?  Again, I'll take it.

*The picture of her busted up shnozz is rough, but again, why the f*ck would you put your face right in a dog's grill if you didn't know them?  This isn't a kid we're talking about, that's a totally different story, this is a grown ass woman.

*Dogs in beer stores and the doctor's office.  That's friggin awesome.  Canada for the win.

*The lawsuit wasn't about the money and she wouldn't have sued the dog's owner if the woman had just apologized.  My bullsh!t meter is beeping off the charts right now.  A woman that mentioned paying bills half a dozen times in two minutes wasn't looking to cash in?  Child, please.  I'm not saying I wouldn't do the same thing, but let's be f*cking real.  An apology doesn't pay the bills, honey.

*God bless plastic surgeons, huh?  Dude, I bet she has a better looking nose now than before AND got some lipo while she was in there.  I smell insurance fraud.

*Finally, what the hell does a pit bull killing a shih tzu a few days before this incident have to do with anything?  Nice editing Ottawa Sun.

-Big Ran

PS:  The Ottawa Sun wouldn't let me embed the video, so I looked for it on YouTube with the following search:  "ottawa sun woman bit by dog."

Here's the top few hits:

1. Rick Astley - Never Gonna Give You Up (Just Awesome)

2. G20 Police Dog Bites Woman (Makes Sense)

3. Dog Bites Man (I wish this was Man Bites Dog)

4. he jump on my vagina because he gets so crazy

You know I'm not leaving here with out posting that one (it gets awesome at 1:28).  Good evening and have a pleasant tomorrow.  Apparently the dog has been vasectomied not castrated:  "He can make love, but he won't have babies."