If Anyone Wants to Fake Cancer for Profit, Go To Virginia (Then Proceeed to Hell)

Woman who faked cancer fined $100

A 42-year-old Virginia woman was fined $100 and given five years of probation for faking cancer to raise money for herself.

FREDERICKSBURG, Va., Feb. 28 (UPI) -- A 42-year-old Virginia woman was fined $100 and given five years of probation for faking cancer to raise money for herself.

Martha Ann Nicholas of Mechanicsville pleaded guilty to two misdemeanor charges of obtaining money by false pretenses, the Richmond Times-Dispatch reported.

Nicholas also was given a suspended sentence of a year in jail on each charge and ordered by Fredericksburg General District Judge John R. Stevens not to take part in any charitable causes.

Stevens accepted the plea recommended by prosecutors.

Defense attorney Sam Simpson had said earlier Nicholas had paid restitution of $1,700, the amount she collected. She had claimed at rallies she was a cancer victim.

She had been suffering from a psychosomatic condition that led her to believe she had a cancer-like illness, Simpson said.

Look, I'm no judge, jury, or executioner, but doesn't a $100 fine seem a bit light for pretending to have cancer and throwing a fundraiser for personal profit?  There's not much of a fear factor in that to dissuade people from trying that again in hopes of getting away with it.  If they want to keep the $100 fine, they should add that the person not only pays restitution to those who gave them money, but the perpetrator should have to match that amount in a donation to a local cancer charity or research fund.  Then, cancer patients get to stone them.


You know what Samuel L. Jackson would say?

-Big Ran

There's a Boat/Sex Joke Somewhere Here

Costa Concordia Blonde 'Sets Record Straight'

MyFoxDC - The blonde tour representative whose beauty allegedly sparked the sinking of the Costa Concordia gave her first newspaper interview Sunday "to set the record straight" about her relationship with the doomed ship's captain.

Domnica Cemortan said she was flirting with Captain Francesco Schettino on the bridge before the ship struck rocks Jan. 13, The Mail on Sunday reported.

The newspaper said it was possible that the smitten captain may have been trying to impress the 25 year old when the ship crashed, as early reports had suggested.

Cemortan revealed that she shared a passionate kiss with 52-year-old Schettino but denied that they were lovers.

She said, "They are acting as if I'm some sort of femme fatale, but I don't sleep around. Yes, I was very attracted to Captain Schettino, and he was clearly interested in me. I admit that I had a big crush on him because he was very good-looking and very charming."

Cemortan worked on the ship for three weeks, but when her contract ended, she bought herself a ticket for the remainder of the ill-fated cruise. She claimed that her belongings, found in Schettino's cabin, were being stored there as a temporary measure.

"I admit that I was attracted to him, but honestly, we did not have sex," Cemortan said.

However, she went on, "He was always respectful when I was a member of his staff, but once I was a passenger, then it was different. I think we probably would have ended up in bed, eventually, but I never found out because of the crash."

She maintained that the disaster, believed to have killed 32 people, was a "tragic accident" and said that people who accused Schettino of being "Captain Coward" were "looking to find someone to blame."

Schettino remains under house arrest at his home near Naples on suspicion of multiple manslaughter and abandoning ship. He faces up to 15 years in jail if convicted.

I was going to highlight certain parts by bolding them, but this short article is a hit parade of quotes.  First of all, I have seen articles that describe this tramp as "devastatingly beautiful."  Maybe we have different definitions of "devastatingly."  

That second picture is so awesome, I can't even stand it.  It looks like one of those tourist trap area things that you walk behind, stick your head through, and have your picture taken.

There's just so many winning lines in the article, but my favorites are the following:

"I admit that I was attracted to him, but honestly, we did not have sex," Cemortan said.

"Cemortan worked on the ship for three weeks, but when her contract ended, she bought herself a ticket for the remainder of the ill-fated cruise. She claimed that her belongings, found in Schettino's cabin, were being stored there as a temporary measure."

I'm thinking something about either taking the tug boat to tuna town or helping the captain sink a battleship somewhere.  I'm still not sure.  Still thinking...

She maintained that the disaster, believed to have killed 32 people, was a "tragic accident" and said that people who accused Schettino of being "Captain Coward" were "looking to find someone to blame."

This may be a wild thought, but wouldn't the captain of a sunken cruise ship be exactly the person to blame?  Just throwing that out there.

-Big Ran

Dad is So Proud

Ugh, I wish I slacked off at work and posted this earlier because everyone has it up now.  Anyway, if I had to guess, I would guess this is fake, but well done, had me for a second.  Let's be honest, I'm not re-watching this for what she says.  Hey, I may be on a diet, but it doesn't mean I can't look at the menu.

If I am Jeremy Lin, I 1000% get in touch with this broad.  I mean, you gotta play the hot hand, right.

-Big Ran