Tongue-Tied

Did anyone else see this last night? What the hell was going on here? For me, it was the deranged look in his eyes rather than the wild tongue action that REALLY got my attention. I guess The Heat have a secret weapon and now each of Miami's "Big Three" have nicknames. We've got "The King", "D-Wade", and now,  "The Tongue".  It was enough for this play, but "The Tongue" wasn't enough to 'lick' Dallas in Game 2.

Personally, I think he's looking more like a lizard than an ostrich in this clip.

Go MAVS!

P.S. Remember this? Trying to decide which one is more disturbing. Any thoughts?


 
-KC Jones

Dr. Death

I'm just wondering who assisted him? And now, who is going to help put US out of our misery?

http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20499778,00.html


Dr. Jack Kevorkian, nicknamed "Dr. Death" for his controversial advocacy of assisted suicide in the cases of the terminally ill, died early Friday morning, reports his local paper, the Detroit Free Press.

He was 83, suffered kidney and heart ailments and was not placed on life support, his attorney, Mayer Morganroth, told the paper.

Last year, Al Pacino won an Emmy for his portrayal of Kevorkian in HBO's You Don't Know Jack.

In all, the trained pathologist assisted some 130 terminally or chronically ill patients in their deaths during the 1990s. In 1999, he was convicted of second-degree murder after sending a videotape of himself euthanizing a terminally ill man to CBS's 60 Minutes. His medical license was also revoked.

At Kevorkian's side in Beaumont Hospital in Royal Oak, Mich., at the time of his own death was his niece, Ava Janus, and Morganroth, who told the Free Press: "It was peaceful, he didn't feel a thing."

-KC Jones

Super Terrific Happy Hour!

In honor of Dice-K being done for the year after opting for Tommy John surgery, he is today's Super Terrific Happy Hour Honoree.  Remember Dice-K mania before he started to suck beyond belief?  I was pumped, the dude had to be awesome since the Sox paid $51.1 M just for the right to negotiate a contract with him.  Think about that.  $51.1 M before they even paid him, which bumped the total bill to over $100 M.  For all of that, the Sox got an amazingly frustrating, inconsistent, average pitcher.

There were always flashes of brilliance that made his inconsistency even more frustrating.  The typical Dice-K game?  5 innings, 403 pitches, every batter went to a 3 and 2 count, and the game lasted roughly 6 hours.  Does he have the ability to pitch in the majors?  Absolutely.  However, the transition was never smooth.  He wanted to throw 200 pitches a game and throw everyday like he did in Japan and that is not how the Red Sox roll...at all.

So, I don't know if we'll see Dice-K pitch for the Sox again and its too bad it never worked out.  I'm just glad it wasn't my money that they paid him with.

-Big Ran

Best picture ever.

KC Jones' Comment: In the first picture, I'm really focused on Theo's facial expression. He's smiling, but he's clearly apprehensive and concerned. It's kind of like they caught the exact moment when he realized the Sox had just made a huge mistake. Also, I'd like the last picture made into a mouse pad asap.

I'm Now Officially Cooler Than You (Unless You Have an iPad Too)

So, I just got an iPad for work.  Now, don't get me wrong, that's cool.  However, I'm not exactly sure why, other than they want to ensure that I'm a baller, right?  I travel a lot for work, so I guess not bringing a laptop is cool, but that wasn't exactly a major burden, so they must just want us to look super important.  The timing wasn't exactly great since the day some of us got these, we also laid someone off.

I'm not sure how I feel about this.  Honestly, I think people that bust out iPads on a plane, at the airport, or in a hotel lobby are remarkable douches.  However, I can totally watch Netflix or HBO while I am at work, just like I have a small LCD HD TV on my desk, which is pretty sweet.

However, kill me if I ever look as obnoxious as this guy (there's probably no way for most people to avoid that, good thing I am alarmingly handsome):

I think what I'll do is just play this jam really loudly whenever I use it in public:

-Big Ran

PS:  Who knows how to look at porn on an iPad without my IT department knowing?

Is This Person Good Looking?

Hey errbody!  I'm here with another installment of "Is This Person Good Looking?"  Today, we have Anna Paquin, currently of the big HBO hit, True Blood, which will be coming back for its fourth season on June 26th.  I'm not into vampire stuff, but this is a really good show.  My guess is that KC would hate it with a white hot fiery passion.  Anyway, Anna Paquin, who plays Sookie Stackhouse on the show is always an enigma to me; sometimes looking good, sometimes just making me confused, so here we go.

Looking good:

A little bit of the deer in the headlights, but I ain't mad at ya.

I think its the teeth that throw me off:

It totally works for True Blood because it is set in backwoods Louisiana and I don't picture a lot of high end dental care going on in a place like that.  That smile is tough to get past, but I'm not hating on her.  I look like a tool when I try to smile in photos, so that's why I mean mug in every picture possible, even family holiday photos.

Thanksgiving

Arbor Day

Office Christmas Party

You get the idea.  Again, I ain't sayin Anna Paquin is busted, but she shouldn't smile.  Ever.

-Big Ran

Never Thought I'd Say It....

Top 5 Reasons Why I Like Hockey

1. Toothless men who just don't care. As long as this sport exists, dentists will be making bank!

2. Canadians acting tough because we all know that's just not their nature!
3. Organ music---did anyone hear "If You're Happy and You Know it" playing in the second period tonight? That really sets the mood for the boxing on skates that may ensue at any moment.
4. Mullets and 1970's/80's style facial hair! Tim Thomas, in particular, looked like he spent a little extra time on his 'stache tonight. From the locker room footage prior to face-off,  it looked like he may have been going for a handlebar look, but I can't find a picture of it yet.
5. Fights erupting for absolutely NO reason besides the fact that they CAN. 

*Side note: Can anyone imagine Mike Tyson on skates? I think he'd be a valuable asset to any NHL team....for a few reasons: Besides his obvious size and stremf', he enjoys biting (which apparently happened during the B's game tonight) and he doesn't  really seem to care about his teeth....

GO BRUINS!

 -KC Jones

Hide Yo Kids, Hide Yo Wife, and Hide Yo Husbands too, Cause Tornadoes are Rapin' MA

Uncut: Reported Tornado Churns Over River - Video - WCVB Boston

I was about to make jokes about how my commute home was an awesome combination of a car wash and fireworks show, then I get home and my wife and dog are chillin' in the basement because that's what they said to do in our town on the news.

Also, I saw the linked footage from Springfield.  Wow.  No joke.

If this is the Rapture, I'll see you guys in Hell, I guess.

-Big Ran

KC Jones' Note: I was unaware that we were REALLY having tornadoes in Messachusetts, so I didn't understand why the gym and the packy were both ghost towns when I stopped in after work--I thought it was just because people were gearing up for The Bruins tonight. This is the Rapture, fo' so'.......

On a lighter, happier note, check out some of the peeps in the background of the coverage from Springfield...my bet is that they gon' be lootin' err'body shortly!

Hide Yo Kids, Hide Yo Wife, and Hide Yo Husbands too, Cause Sarah Palin Might be Coming to Boston

Boston Globe - Sarah Palin’s mystery tour/summer vacation/media scavenger hunt is headed toward Boston, perhaps as soon as this afternoon.

The former Alaska governor, who has been visiting historic sites across the Northeast (and eating pizza with Donald Trump), as part of her One Nation bus tour, spent the morning in New York City, visiting Ellis Island.


Now, reporters for ABC News, CNN, and Real Clear Politics, who have been chasing after her bus, are reporting that she’s headed to Boston en route to New Hampshire, which holds the nation’s first presidential primary. 

As has been her practice throughout the tour, Palin is not saying where, precisely, she will stop in Boston. The city, of course, offers many historic sites that would resonate with her message. So Palin watchers are wondering: will she stroll the deck of Old Ironsides, walk along the Freedom Trail, or admire the Bunker Hill Monument?

We’ll have to wait and see. Palin has acknowledged she is interested in running for president, but has insisted that her unusual tour is not about her, but about highlighting America’s great historic sites.

One of her potential rivals, former Massachusetts Governor Mitt Romney, is formally announcing his presidential candidacy tomorrow. In New Hampshire.

This has been an odd trip for Palin as she insists it is not part of a possible presidential campaign, but rather a tour of historic sites in the US.  I guess it's just a coincidence that Romney is announcing his candidacy tomorrow in NH.  I really hope that Romney, Palin, and Trump all run in 2012, because Saturday Night Live would be awesome. 

-Big Ran

PS:  If you go to see Palin in Boston, don't dress like a moose or a Russian, cause she will shoot your ass.

No Rapture Last Week, But Proof There is a God

@SHAQSHAQ

Shaq ooout. #ShaqRetireshttp://www.tout.com/9944wo

2 minutes ago via Tout.comFavorite Retweet Reply
Boston.com - Celtics center Shaquille O'Neal announced on his Twitter feed minutes ago that he is retiring from the NBA.
"We did it," said O'Neal. "Nineteen years, baby. I want to thank you very much. That's why I'm telling you first, I'm about to retire. Love ya. Talk to you soon."
Listen, I actually like Shaq a lot and I was OK with the signing last year by the Celts.  Obviously it didn't work out on the court so much since he played 5 minutes after February 1st and his presence was one reason for the Perk trade.
On the plus side, he got to pretend he was a statue in Barbara Square (How he originally tweeted it):

He participated in the pine wood derby contest with some Boy Scouts:

And, just before the playoffs, he rehabbed hard with the help of his wife, Hoopz:

So, Shaq, Godspeed, best of luck becoming a full time volunteer sheriff, and thank you for the chance the Cs have to sign another over-the-hill big man for next season.

-Big Ran

I Want an Electronic Cigarette So Bad!

I know you are supposed to use an adverb there (Badly), but doesn't it sound better the way it is?  I think so.  Anyway, I don't smoke, never have other than smoking once in a bar when I was 19 back when you could smoke in bars and I had a fake ID.  Later that night I managed to throw up in my friend's back yard and sleep in the back seat of my car for no real reason other than man did that butt F me up.  So, I have no desire to smoke for real, but wouldn't one of those electronic cigarettes be sweet?  You could have all the benefits of smoking (looking AWESOME) without second hand smoke, stinking, and cancer.

Let me tell you, I would drag on this thing ALL THE TIME.  I would especially do it at work just to freak people out.  Imagine people walking into a conference room for a meeting and you are in there first puffing away with your feet up on the conference table?  How great would it be to see the looks on people's faces?  I'll tell you, it would be AMAZING.  As it is, when I go out with buddies (back when we actually could go out anyway) all we typically do is talk to random people and/or act super hammered for our own enjoyment.  I would love to puff on this bad boy and talk to smokers outside and complain about the no smoking laws, taxes on butts, that would be great.

A while ago they would always run ads that you could get a free one if you CALL NOW!  My wife never let me call and that's too bad because I know she would takes hauls off of a fake cigarette too.  So, if anyone wants to know what to get me for a present, now you know; an electronic cigarette.

Plus, how can it be bad if Danny Bonaduce and Jose Canseco endorse it?

-Big Ran

PS:  Without spell check, I would have spelled cigarette 14 different ways in this post.