Monday, April 9, 2012
Wednesday, April 4, 2012
Stuck In My Head
Just as a little insight, they could have just followed me around for a day and gotten very similar footage.
Hump day, bitches. Go get it.
-Big Ran
PS: How great is the still shot on the YouTube clip before you hit play. BOOM. A$$ ALL UP IN YO FACE!
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
Blue Uniform Balls
Does anyone remember a while back when "prototypes" of the upcoming Nike NFL uniforms were released and they looked like this:
Well, the top photo is the actual Nike uniform for the Patriots and let's be honest, it's exactly the same as what they're wearing now. They can yammer on about being tougher and lighter, and tougher for opponents to grab, but WTF, Nike? Big time let down. Now, granted, that prototype looks like some AFL/Arena League stuff, but at least give me something.
Nike makes the Oregon Ducks and Baylor Bears look like futuristic alien warriors, so why can't we do a little something with the NFL unis? ESPN has an article with links to a bunch of photos as well as an explanation as to why some unis are exactly the same.
I expected more from Nike becasue they always seem to push the envelope, but maybe the No Fun League and Roger Goodell were wet blankets once again.
-Big Ran
Brought To You Without Blogger Interruption
I think I now have a rock-solid all time top five YouTube video list.
-Big Ran
Google Searches and Tuesday Trivia
Based on the fun of my earlier Google searches, here are some answers to trivia you could use one day:
1. Why are manhole covers round?
From Wikipedia:
- A round manhole cover cannot fall through its circular opening, whereas a square manhole cover may fall in if it were inserted diagonally in the hole. (A Reuleaux triangle or other curve of constant width would also serve this purpose, but round covers are much easier to manufacture. The existence of a "lip" holding up the lid means that the underlying hole is smaller than the cover, so that other shapes might suffice.)
- Round tubes are the strongest and most material-efficient shape against the compression of the earth around them, and so it is natural that the cover of a round tube assume a circular shape.
- Similarly, it is easier to dig a circular hole and thus the cover is also circular.
- The bearing surfaces of manhole frames and covers are machined to assure flatness and prevent them from becoming dislodged by traffic. Round castings are much easier to machine using a lathe.
- Circular covers do not need to be rotated to align them when covering a circular manhole.
- A round manhole cover can be more easily moved by being rolled.
- A round manhole cover is cheapest to manufacture relative to other shapes because it requires the least amount of metal to cover an opening wide enough for a person to get through.
- Most manhole covers are made by a few large companies. A different shape would have to be custom made.
- If a manhole cover were to be displaced by a car or anything else, it could easily slip back into position and would not have to have any angles matched up.
- If a manhole cover were to be displaced it would not pop or damage the tires of an automobile.
Honestly, who thought reading about manhole covers could be so interesting. That page is a good read.
2. Why This Kolaveri Di?
OK, so here's Wikipedia again:
"Why This Kolaveri Di" (Tamil: வொய் திஸ் கொலவெறி டி, Voy Tis Kolaveṟi Ṭi ?; English: Why This Murderous Rage, Girl?[1]) is a Tamil song from the soundtrack of the Tamil film 3, which was released on 30, March 2012. Written and sung by Dhanush, the song was composed by music director Anirudh.
Oh, word? This sh!t is hot off the presses! We are so hot in India right now! Check it out, I am feeling the beat. Also, this dude is the Indian Fisticuffs with those headphones. Honestly, this thing is blowing up and making Bieber look like a has been.
3. Last one: Why are smart people usually ugly?
This broad must be a super model, because she might be the dumbest person on the planet.
"I am not ignorant" - FALSE - if you are asking these types of questions, you clearly are.
"I absolutely do not differentiate between people who are beautiful and who are not" - FALSE - you are asking the question so you do.
"The reason why I asked this question is because I had recently seen an article on the net about this topic. But I did not get time to read it." - TRUE! This I believe, because I doubt she can read.
-Big Ran
Why the F*ck are Printer Cartridges so Expensive?
Now, admittedly, I never use our printer at home, so I haven't even looked at printer in cartridges since college. So, yesterday, my wife asked me to pick up ink cartridges on the way home from work. First off, I have no idea how we ran through previous ones we had, but that's really neither nor there. My wife is a nice, talented, creative person, so she is helping one of her coworkers with wedding shower invitations and volunteered to print them out.
I stop at Dunder Mifflin Staples on the way home and I honestly don't remember the last time I set foot inside a Staples. I could be a recluse as long as I had internet access and a credit card, because, really, what can't you buy from Amazon? So, I wander around for a few minutes before finding ink cartridges, then have to look through a stupid little book like I am buying spark plugs at the auto store. They have the black cartridge (is that racist? Should it be African American cartridge?) sold individually, but not the color one, so I have to get this "Value Combo Pack." Let me tell you something about this "Value Combo Pack:" it loosely translates to "You Better Take Out a Second Mortgage Pack." 52 f*cking dollars for printer cartridges. Oh! I almost forgot! I also get photo paper! Thank God, because I run through photo paper like nobody's business. F*ck you, Canon photo paper.
This chick better reimburse us for these printer cartridges or else it's coming off the wedding gift. No f*cking joke. You're going to get a card, a smaller check, and a copy of this Staples receipt.
In any event, I go to Google to figure out why printer cartridges are so God damned expensive, when my day is made by the auto complete searches:
This one is more run of the mill, but I could not answer any of those questions. I am guessing manhole covers are round so you can roll them to a truck or something rather than having to carry them because they are crazy-heavy. I can't even begin to guess what that last questions means.
This was the one that got me:
"Why are smart people usually ugly" as an auto search. So, worldwide, that is the most common search after "why are?" Good lord. That's fantastic, but it doesn't get printer cartridges off the hook for costing more than caviar.
-Big Ran
Unfortunately Stuck In My Head
This is what passes for the National Anthem at a major sporting event nowadays, huh? A bunch of f*cking hipsters in skinny jeans? Hey, nice drum, bro. All you could muster up for an appearance on national television with teams representing two red states was a f*cking v-neck t-shirt? That sh*t better be organic cotton or I'll be pissed.
When your intro is "Welcome Grammy-nominated and internationally acclaimed, world-touring band, The Fray," I just don't think that's gonna get people amped for a National Championship.
1:15 - John Calapari is clearly hoping the jumbo tron falls on these dudes.
1:20 - Bill Self, the Kansas coach, is definitely doing his best to stifle his laughter.
Two dudes singing on one mic is never a good look.
-Big Ran
PS: No f*cking cowbell?
Thursday, March 29, 2012
Stuck In My Head
Sorry I have been a deadbeat blogger, bros. I'll hit it up more next week. I'm feeling this jam right now; just mad emotional, dogg.
Also, you can't beat the description the person who uploaded this wrote:
"Yes, you did just cum in your pants."
-Big Ran
Monday, March 26, 2012
I Don't Know How I Feel About This
Not to go all "Dawson's Creek" all over your asses, but I really don't know how I feel about this cover. I've been going back and forth since I heard it on Thursday.
So, I guess I'll go with the pros first.
1. She doesn't drop an N-Bomb. At least that I could tell. There was one spot early where the sound was dropped, so I'm not 100% sure.
2. She swears. I honestly didn't think she would. I love swearing, so that's a positive for me.
3. She has some flow.
The cons:
1. The Yankees hat. It's not because I am a Red Sox fan, that sh!t is just played out unless you are actually a fan or at least from NYC.
2. A few cringe-worthy moments, like throwing up the Jay-Z Roc symbol. I wasn't feelign that. Also, throwing the Fish Filet line to the audience and they didn't say anything. Tough.
3. Her guitar player.
Overall, I give her credit for giving it a shot, but I won't be downloading her version.
-Big Ran
It's All About the Benjamin....
...and yes, I know that the real song title is plural, but for me, it truly was all about the Benjamin this weekend. That's right Takeover readers, the most unlucky person in terms of money, yours truly, won $100 on a $2 scratch ticket. Naturally, because I never win ANYTHING, you would have thought I was a millionaire.
I stopped at the package store near my house before going to a friend's house on Saturday night. They didn't have my Shock Top Raspberry Wheat, so I left and stopped at another one I'd never been to before. In addition to my 6 pack (of which I consumed only 1.5- my limit), I bought five $2 scratch tickets. I told the cashier I didn't care which ticket it was as long as it was 5 of the same one. Well, he made a great choice as I won ten dollars ten times on one of the tickets! Best night ever. I did hallucinate on the last $10 though and thought it said $10,000. Could you even imagine? Yeah, me neither.
Maybe my lucky streak will continue, I mean, after all, I AM a winner at life. I get to sit in a cube all day!
-KC Jones
I stopped at the package store near my house before going to a friend's house on Saturday night. They didn't have my Shock Top Raspberry Wheat, so I left and stopped at another one I'd never been to before. In addition to my 6 pack (of which I consumed only 1.5- my limit), I bought five $2 scratch tickets. I told the cashier I didn't care which ticket it was as long as it was 5 of the same one. Well, he made a great choice as I won ten dollars ten times on one of the tickets! Best night ever. I did hallucinate on the last $10 though and thought it said $10,000. Could you even imagine? Yeah, me neither.
 |
| The winning ticket! |
Maybe my lucky streak will continue, I mean, after all, I AM a winner at life. I get to sit in a cube all day!
-KC Jones
This Is How We Do It....
I love Kendrick Perkins, I hate the Miami Heat. Therefore, I love what happened during last night's OKC/Miami matchup. I love that DWade is giving Perk the "stare down" as he follows him down the court.
Really? What are you gonna do about it D-Bag? I REALLY hope that Russell Westbrook was taunting him as well, knowing that Perk-A-Lurk was there to protect him. The best part of this incident was what happened after the game when Perk was asked about it and said that it wasn't intentional, he just happened to be there. (Looking for that clip, but can't find it yet).
Hey Danny, thanks again for trading Perk away. While it's not Jeff Green's fault he has a heart issue, and while he was looking real nice dressed up and sitting on the C's bench last night for moral support, the trade NEVER made any sense. PERK FOR PRESIDENT! Ainge is Strange!
-KC Jones
 |
| At least he's aging well...... |
(Ir)RATIONAL Rant....Time After Time
So, I've been at my company for almost 11 years and in that time I've had 4 different jobs. While I love so many of the people I work with and generally have a good time with them, I cannot STAND the b.s. that is found in Corporate America. So, imagine my disgust when I was informed by my boss that we now have to start keeping time sheets. Um, okay....the last time I checked, I am salaried and I know, that in my group at least, we all put in more than our share of time at the office or working from home during our month/quarter/year end close processes. We can account for our time, we're adults, not 5 year olds, and we don't work with clients in a billable hours type environment. Oh well, I guess there's NOTHING better for moral than being made to feel like 'big brother's watching', right?
Now, in addition to figuring out how to log all of our extra hours at night and during the weekends during our super busy times, we're left to also figure out how to justify spending time on facebook, online, running out for Iced Tea, and writing awesome blog posts. I guess I'll just learn to pee extra fast so I can put less time down for that and MORE time down for recreational activities. (All of the miscellaneous activities will be grouped as "Professional Development" and/or "Teambuilding".
Why do I feel like a "meeting with the Bobs" is in our near future?
This is not the first time this has happened to us, and I just have nothing else to say about it other than it's stupid. Yup, STUPID...I said it....maybe I am 5!
P.S. If the consequences include a lay off in time for summer; sign me up!
-KC Jones
Now, in addition to figuring out how to log all of our extra hours at night and during the weekends during our super busy times, we're left to also figure out how to justify spending time on facebook, online, running out for Iced Tea, and writing awesome blog posts. I guess I'll just learn to pee extra fast so I can put less time down for that and MORE time down for recreational activities. (All of the miscellaneous activities will be grouped as "Professional Development" and/or "Teambuilding".
Why do I feel like a "meeting with the Bobs" is in our near future?
This is not the first time this has happened to us, and I just have nothing else to say about it other than it's stupid. Yup, STUPID...I said it....maybe I am 5!
-KC Jones
Stuck In My Head....
This is TOTALLY random, and it's been making numerous appearances in my head since last week. I have no idea why, but I love this song. It reminds me of my early 20's and being sh*tfaced--and ironically, most of my sh*ttiest nights were spent in the company of Big Ran!
Make sure you pay attention to the video, especially the part where Missy Elliot's head is missing. What was the point of that? Adding Ludacris to this song made it a slam dunk as well. I mean, his rhymes are, as usual, priceless and the visual presentation is just ridiculous. I will admit that Missy rapping about sex in regards to men is VERY uncomfortable for me.....just sayin'....
Anyway, I anticipate this song being stuck in my head for at LEAST another week. It's always bad when the song stuck in your head is one that you can't sing out loud.
-KC Jones
Make sure you pay attention to the video, especially the part where Missy Elliot's head is missing. What was the point of that? Adding Ludacris to this song made it a slam dunk as well. I mean, his rhymes are, as usual, priceless and the visual presentation is just ridiculous. I will admit that Missy rapping about sex in regards to men is VERY uncomfortable for me.....just sayin'....
Anyway, I anticipate this song being stuck in my head for at LEAST another week. It's always bad when the song stuck in your head is one that you can't sing out loud.
-KC Jones
Sunday, March 25, 2012
Role Model....
Rihanna: 'The more I got naked, the more comfortable I felt'
Between her stage shows and bikini-clad vacations, it’s clear to anyone that’s been paying attention to Rihanna that she’s not afraid to show a little skin.
In fact, the “S&M” singer recently admitted to UK magazine Women’s Fitness
that she was able to accept her body by flaunting it. She explained:“My
way probably won’t work for most people… but the more I got naked the
more comfortable I felt.”
The singer, 24, often posts super sexy (and sometimes deemed inappropriate) photos of herself on Twitter.
She defended this behavior as well, telling the magazine: “I just had
to face my fear. You always find something wrong, you always find
something you’re uncomfortable with, and one thing turns into another
and you get embarrassed and self-conscious about it — you feel like
everybody can see what you see.”
 |
| REALLY? |
Friday, March 23, 2012
Closing Time
I'm looking at a half-empty bottle of Courvoisier, which means that we are just about out of time.
Have a great weekend, adopt some dogs!
-Big Ran
Geraldo Rivera: Investigative Journalist...Ummm What?
Geraldo Rivera, investigative journalist vapid douche bag, tweeted this about Trayvon Martin, the teenager shot and killed by George Zimmerman, essentially for being African American and having the gall to carry around a bag of Skittles, an iced tea, and wear a hooded sweatshirt.
Geraldo really nails this issue on the head, huh? Great responses though:
Is Geraldo just letting his mustache go to his head or what? Look, I don't like to be serious on this blog, or really ever, but this case is just outrageous.
This poor kid was shot in cold blood because this crazy-ass racist p.o.s. didn't think black people should be in his neighborhood. Nobody helped the kid and Zimmerman was questioned and released. People, we still live in a f*cked up, backwards-ass, racist country, just look at most of the people that write in to this "Yo, Is This Racist?". His great response to Geraldo:
"DEAR GERALDO, I HOPE YOU GET MUSTACHE CANCER"
Damn. I got all serious. Go out and adopt some puppies and feed them ham, god damn it!
-Big Ran
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)