There are few things that infuriate me more than people acting like tools at the gym. My new gym is actually a really nice place, with far fewer of these people (it's true, you get what you pay for--and fortunately, my health insurance reimburses me enough to allow me to have a membership to a better gym now), but there will always be a couple tools that escaped from the box and landed at the gym.
This rant concerns grown men behaving badly at the gym. Specifically, grunting and making other noises, throwing weights down when finished so the floor shakes and trying to 'cut in' on someone else who is using a machine in an efficient manner. This stuff happened so much more at the old clap trap I used to frequent, but it's still relevant as we've all seen it happen.
To The Men Behaving Badly:
Dude, seriously? If you're making THAT much noise, it's very clear that either the weights are too heavy OR that you're trying to get attention. Maybe even both! If the weight is too heavy, grunting will not help you at all. You know what will help? Reducing the total amount of what you're trying to lift. If you're trying to get attention, I hope you're happy with it being negative attention in the form of dirty looks and people exchanging awkward glances in relation to you.
Um, are you attempting to fool the people around you into thinking there's an earthquake or tremor going on? Oh, you're not? Then why are you throwing the weights down so carelessly, making the ground shake? Ah, never mind, I get it, again, trying to call attention to how massive you are(n't).
Remember kindergarten? Specifically the part about taking turns and waiting for your turn? Very important lessons that translate very well into proper gym etiquette. If I am on a machine, and taking a quick rest between reps, there is NO need for you to ask to 'just jump in quick'. I have the machine set to my specifications and I'll be finishing before you use it. Don't ask, because you're not going to get a good reaction from me. I'm not a bitch, I'm just all set with neanderthals who don't 'get it'. It takes me no more than 5 minutes on any one machine. You can wait. I'm not like you, wandering around, checking myself out, and then going back to the machine 15 minutes later. Squatters rights. Look them up!
Finally, I know that for you, going to the gym is all about staring at yourself in the mirror and flexing, taking 17 hours to finish one set, and checking out the females (who are all getting protective orders as soon as they vacate the building). I know that you have never done cardio a day in your life and therefore aren't breaking the same sweat that many of the normal people at the gym are breaking. However, this little fact does not absolve you from having to wipe the machines and benches down when you're done just like everyone else has to. Judging by the intensity of your grunts and moans, you're clearly overexerting yourself and I'm sure sweating. Please clean up after yourself.
Thank you,
KC Jones
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