The Best GIF You'll See All Day

This is from the Kansas State - Missouri hoops game the other night and poor Doug Gottlieb is just getting crushed by this kid miming a BJ.  Man, I wonder if I was that much of a schmuck when I was 12.  I mean, I know I am know, but I wonder about 20 years ago.

I wonder how you feel if you are this kid's parent.  Like, are you ashamed?  Are you proud?  I think I would have to pretend to be disappointed, but be laughing my ass off  with my friends.  

-Big Ran

KC Jones: I agree 200% w/ Big Ran, I'd pretend to be disappointed, but there's no way I wouldn't be laughing my ass off and sending the clip to EVERYONE. 

Stuck In My Head

So this is the hotness right now, with like 2.3 million views in two days.  Does the world remember that Chris Brown tuned Rhianna up like you don't often see?  It's not like he pushed her because they were hammered and yelling at each other, it looked like she went into a MMA cage match.  Meh, let's give him Grammys and sh!t.

However, I will say this: this song is a jam.  I can't deny that.

-Big Ran

PS:  I don't think they're really taking about cake.  I have the suspicion that it's a metaphor, but I can't quite put my finger on it (pun intended).

I Would Be So Awesome At Being Rich

Forbes - Perhaps the telltale indicator of Iverson’s divorce from financial reality, however, was an anecdote I received via a former teammate of Iverson’s from his days with the Philadelphia 76ers. This player, raised on a far higher standard of fiduciary responsibility, was amused and stunned by “A.I.’s” money habits. He related how on many road trips Iverson refused to carry baggage, evidently seeking to remain as unencumbered from physical things as he was of basketball defenders. Because of this habit, Iverson would buy a full selection of new clothes, shoes, and other expensive items at each new destination with rolls of cash he carried on his person. Moreover, upon departure, he would leave all those goodies behind in his hotel room or just give them away.


OK, so I can't claim to be a boss like AI, but I have done mini versions of this on business trips.  Once, I got back from three weeks in Asia and had a few days at a conference in Seattle.  I had timed my clothing perfectly in Asia, leaving nothing left that was clean plus, it was hot as hell in Asia, so it wasn't just that the clothes weren't clean, but they were legit sweaty.  Two problems with that strategy.  First, I had no clean clothes clothes for Seattle and it was like 40 degrees there.  I didn't have a sweater or a jacket.  So what did I do?  I balled like crazy at Old Navy and bought t-shirts, underwear, socks, khakis, jeans, s sweater, a sweatshirt, and a couple shirts.  That sh!t is baller and I am proud of it to this day.

Another time I was going to a conference in DC in July.  It was legitimately 97 degrees and over 90 percent humidity.  I assumed a conference in the middle of the summer in DC would be business casual, so I had khakis and short sleeved dress shirts.  Nope.  I walk into the conference the first morning and everyone is in suits.  The conference was being run by the US State Department, so everyone felt the need to dress up.  So, I ended up buying a blazer, a couple dress shirts, and ties.  Again.  Baller.


I always wanted to not pack on business trips and just buy stuff when I got there, so when I saw that AI did this on his trips, I instantly liked him even more.  And, let's be honest; if you don't like Allen Iverson, you need to move to Communist Russia, because that's just un-American.




-Big Ran

Stuck In My Head

Two things:

1. I am in meetings all day.  There is no way I'm not using the term "Ima Boss" at least 7 times.
2.  I might get a dirt bik or an ATV to roll around town on.  Because, make no doubt, that sh!t is boss.

-Big Ran aka Big Dirty aka Big Boss aka Big Chinese Restaurant aka Big Dirty Chinese Restaurant Boss

Can We Be Real For a Minute?

OK.  This will not be popular, but that has never stopped me before.  For the record, I never got why people fell over themselves for Gisele.  Dudes, you airbrush my ass and it could be in Victoria's Secret.  You know what Victoria's Secret is?  Adobe Photoshop.

See picture number three?  Go to CVS in Northbridge, MA and that's who you see working the one hour photo booth (shout out to KC and her high school job, but not in Northbridge).  I just don't get it.  Number 12 was once the most clutch QB to ever don a uniform, now he's got a skinny-ass Yoko Ono f*cking up his chi.  Maybe he needs a slump buster or at least a woman with some semblance of curves.

-Big Ran

Spring Break!

It looks like Gisele Bundchen has forgiven her husband Tom Brady’s receivers for dropping all those passes in the Super Bowl.

Or at least one of them.

Following the New England Patriots’ loss to the New York Giants in the Super Bowl earlier this month, Bundchen was videotaped complaining to friends that Brady couldn’t be expected to both thow and catch his passes.

She was referring to several dropped passes by Patriots’ receivers that had a hand in the team’s demise.
Receiver Wes Welker was perhaps the team’s biggest goat, dropping a pass that could have sealed his team’s victory late in the game.

But there Welker was on Monday, vacationing with Bundchen and Brady on a beach in Costa Rica!

More photos of Gisele, Tom and Wes’ beach blanket bingo.

Could this family vacation be the first step fence mending between Bundchen and Brady’s butterfingered receiving corps?

Stay tuned…

Read more: http://fox411.blogs.foxnews.com/post/18008124743/it-looks-like-gisele-bundchen-has-forgiven-her?intcmp=features#ixzz1n1qTmOh0

It's so great that Gisele was able to take some time off from her busy schedule of lobbying for world wide breast feeding mandates and her more current role of sports analyst to enjoy some R&R with her lapdog, oops, I mean husband, and his teammate.

Could somebody PLEASE do something about her? The only way I will EVER be okay with the Patriots EVER again is if someone gets Tommy Boy to divorce her. If not, I will forever despise him and the franchise. 

Hey Tommy, although it was written before your mistake, I'd like to dedicate to this song to Gisele, from you:

                                                         

-KC Jones

*Big Ran Note:  I wonder how all of them are actually getting along.  Did Giselle apologize and write her comment off to just being upset and being heckled?  Did Tom just talk to Wes and say, "Hey man, what can I say?  Just a dumb broad, right, Wes?"

If anything, I bet Wes is too upset with himself to concern himself with what Gisele has to say.  However, I bet, deep down, Wes' fiance DESPISES Gisele.  You can't blame the loss on her man and get away with it.

Also, is Wes wearing jorts in that picture?

Happy Tuesday!

This has three million views in two days.  I don't think I want to live in this world if this kind of thing can happen.  I mean we've got wars, violence, corruption, poverty; none of it pushed me as far as this video did.

-Big Ran

PS:  This has less than 100,000 views.  Damn.

Damn It Feels Good To Have a Three Day Weekend

The only question now is what bottle of booze I'll be picking up on the way home because I need to, in the words of my buddy D-Ballz, drink until I can't feel feelings.

Until next week, hombres.

-Big Ran

My Day Could Have Been Worse

St. James City, FL -

Two St. James City women, one wielding a knife, were arrested Wednesday evening after their failed attempts to flash fellow bar patrons to earn extra beer money escalated into a parking lot attack.

Deputies were called to The Waterfront restaurant at 5:21 p.m. about two "disorderly females."

Restaurant workers say Alicia Martin, 28, and Kathryn Rayannic, 23, had consumed "excessive quantities" of beer at the bar.

Deputies say the duo ran out of money, so they bounced around the bar offering to expose their breasts to other patrons for money, so they could buy more beer.

"They were offering to show their boobs for drinks," said waiter Shaun Bassett. "We had five guys that were like, 'Please, leave us alone.' They actually went up to tables who had their wives there."

In fact, no one took the women up on their offer.

"Basically when they were turned down, they kind of got a little rowdy," Bassett said.

The other customers complained, and two restaurant employees, a male and a female, tried to get Martin and Ryannic to leave.

The arrest report says Martin shoved the female employee into a wall before walking the suspects out of the restaurant.

Once outside, deputies say Martin attacked the female employee, punching her in the back of the head.

The male employee jumped in and dragged Martin off the female employee. He took Martin's keys as the female employee called 911, deputies say.

That's when Martin allegedly pulled a knife and demanded the keys back. She allegedly charged the man, telling him she was going to stab him.

Deputies say the man backed off, so Martin put the knife away and attacked the female employee again.

Martin is charged with Aggravated Assault with a Deadly Weapon and Battery. Rayannic is charged with Disorderly Conduct.

OK, I'm not having a good day at the office, but at least I didn't get turned down when offering to show my boobs in a family restaurant.  I mean, there's feeling low, there's depression, then there's 30 feet of crap, then there is how these two broads must feel.  I would literally pay them to not show their boobs. That's just something you can't unsee.  Look at these hot messes:

-Big Ran

I'm In a Great Mood Today

Rain.  People not doing their jobs.  FANTASTIC WAY TO END THE WEEK!

-Big Ran