Note to Self: Move to Enfield, CT (or Don't Move there, I'm Confused)

Hartford Courant - Police responded to a complaint about a group of women in bikinis Sunday evening.

Police said that a resident on Mathewson Street called police at 5:15 p.m. and said he was "alarmed" by a group of about 15 young woman in bikinis with zombie make-up taking photographs on the street.

Police said that the women, when made aware of the complaint, voluntarily moved to another street. They told police that they were make-up artists from Six Flags and were doing a calendar shoot.

Who do you think complained to the police about this?  Like, did they actually think they may have been zombies?  I guess its good that they called the police rather than busting out their shotgun and firing upon these unsuspecting Six Flags Make Up Artists.  Is that a real job?  I have so many questions about this story, I really wish I was there.


There are some really great comments on this story, though:


Hojo2086 at 1:26 PM June 6, 2011

I want to see the bikini pictures.  All of them.

avwh06 at 1:06 PM June 6, 2011

The people were just jealous because most people in Enfield can't wear bikini's

DanfromEastHampton at 12:03 PM June 6, 2011

Do you know that in New York, they could have been doing the photo shoot topless? The NY Supreme Court rules years ago that it was discrimination to allow men to go without a shirt and not let women have the same privlage. Personally, I would rather my children see a bare breast than a body with a bullet hole in their head so why do we censor breasts on TV but not heads being blown off? Makes you wonder what is acceptable these days.

Nichellemotos at 11:44 AM June 6, 2011

I was one of the zombie girls and want to be very clear. There were 3, THREE, ladies in zombie make up. We are making a zombie swim suit calendar. Its coming out awesome and you can see it on facebook. Year of the Dead.

We are in absolutely no way related or in talks or associated with Six Flags in any shape or form. We are just a group of people making an art project dream come true. Check us out! Its actually very awesome.

africansoothsayer at 7:24 AM June 6, 2011

Come see me in Farmington.  Shoot all day.  We are Zombi friendly in Farmington, unlike Enfield.

OK, so there we have it from one of the bikini clad zombies herself, setting the record straight and here are some pics:

BOOM.  I just did more research than the Hartford Courant.  No wonder print journalism is dying.  If you print a story about zombies in bikinis, you better run photos along with it.  Zombie sex sells.

-Big Ran

PS:  I really expected Donatella Vercase:

I'm Awesome at Getting People Fired up and Drunk

Well, this weekend, my wife joined the 30 year olds' club, so we hosted a party for some of her friends from college and work down at her parents' cape house.  Let me tell you something: there aren't many things I do well other than be awesome and  funny, but grilling and getting people drunk are also on that list.  Friday night everyone rolled in around 8 PM pr so, but I managed to play bartender and get people feeling good and loose, just priming the pump a bit for the next night.

Saturday comes around and I think we have 13 people in all hanging out at the Cape.  I knew there was going to be some day drinking going on, but before that started people were chilling outside, soaking up some sun.  Eventually between the early season sun, food, and day drinking, people were struggling around 4 PM.  You could call it the "calm before the storm," as they tried to say it was, but I knew better.  We needed a catalyst. So, I went to a convenience store and bought about $30 worth of Red Bull.  When I rolled up to check out, the woman working, simply responded with, "Whoa."  She knew what this was.  It was go time.

So, I get back to the house and start pouring Red Bull and Vodkas down peoples throats, and let me tell you, it worked.  It worked big time. I ran a couple shuttles out to a bar for people to get their drink on before the Bruins game and by the time everyone got back to the house, both the energy drunkenness levels were very high.  We ended up having someone puke in the sink, we had a couple get in a drunken fight, and both my dog and I tool a leak outside.  Those have always been my rules for a successful party:

1.  Did someone puke?

2.  Did people hook up or fight?

3.  Did someone pee in the back yard?

Win.  Good party.  Plus, people looked like they were beaten with shovels the next morning.  YESSSSSS!!!!

-Big Ran

*KC Jones says: This is all very true. My mother used to ask me why, whenever I went out with Big Ran, I'd come home completely annihilated and acting funny. And, as I told her one time when I was drunk, "Because he's my friend and he makes me have fun!"....YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS....Everyone loves Big Ran. 

ALSO, this post immediately made me think of this song and video:

*Big Ran Note: It is a true fact that on many occasions, back in the day, I would pour KC back into her house after a night out only to have her Mom wake up. If anyone needs a party starter, let me know.

Tongue-Tied

Did anyone else see this last night? What the hell was going on here? For me, it was the deranged look in his eyes rather than the wild tongue action that REALLY got my attention. I guess The Heat have a secret weapon and now each of Miami's "Big Three" have nicknames. We've got "The King", "D-Wade", and now,  "The Tongue".  It was enough for this play, but "The Tongue" wasn't enough to 'lick' Dallas in Game 2.

Personally, I think he's looking more like a lizard than an ostrich in this clip.

Go MAVS!

P.S. Remember this? Trying to decide which one is more disturbing. Any thoughts?


 
-KC Jones

Dr. Death

I'm just wondering who assisted him? And now, who is going to help put US out of our misery?

http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20499778,00.html


Dr. Jack Kevorkian, nicknamed "Dr. Death" for his controversial advocacy of assisted suicide in the cases of the terminally ill, died early Friday morning, reports his local paper, the Detroit Free Press.

He was 83, suffered kidney and heart ailments and was not placed on life support, his attorney, Mayer Morganroth, told the paper.

Last year, Al Pacino won an Emmy for his portrayal of Kevorkian in HBO's You Don't Know Jack.

In all, the trained pathologist assisted some 130 terminally or chronically ill patients in their deaths during the 1990s. In 1999, he was convicted of second-degree murder after sending a videotape of himself euthanizing a terminally ill man to CBS's 60 Minutes. His medical license was also revoked.

At Kevorkian's side in Beaumont Hospital in Royal Oak, Mich., at the time of his own death was his niece, Ava Janus, and Morganroth, who told the Free Press: "It was peaceful, he didn't feel a thing."

-KC Jones

Super Terrific Happy Hour!

In honor of Dice-K being done for the year after opting for Tommy John surgery, he is today's Super Terrific Happy Hour Honoree.  Remember Dice-K mania before he started to suck beyond belief?  I was pumped, the dude had to be awesome since the Sox paid $51.1 M just for the right to negotiate a contract with him.  Think about that.  $51.1 M before they even paid him, which bumped the total bill to over $100 M.  For all of that, the Sox got an amazingly frustrating, inconsistent, average pitcher.

There were always flashes of brilliance that made his inconsistency even more frustrating.  The typical Dice-K game?  5 innings, 403 pitches, every batter went to a 3 and 2 count, and the game lasted roughly 6 hours.  Does he have the ability to pitch in the majors?  Absolutely.  However, the transition was never smooth.  He wanted to throw 200 pitches a game and throw everyday like he did in Japan and that is not how the Red Sox roll...at all.

So, I don't know if we'll see Dice-K pitch for the Sox again and its too bad it never worked out.  I'm just glad it wasn't my money that they paid him with.

-Big Ran

Best picture ever.

KC Jones' Comment: In the first picture, I'm really focused on Theo's facial expression. He's smiling, but he's clearly apprehensive and concerned. It's kind of like they caught the exact moment when he realized the Sox had just made a huge mistake. Also, I'd like the last picture made into a mouse pad asap.

I'm Now Officially Cooler Than You (Unless You Have an iPad Too)

So, I just got an iPad for work.  Now, don't get me wrong, that's cool.  However, I'm not exactly sure why, other than they want to ensure that I'm a baller, right?  I travel a lot for work, so I guess not bringing a laptop is cool, but that wasn't exactly a major burden, so they must just want us to look super important.  The timing wasn't exactly great since the day some of us got these, we also laid someone off.

I'm not sure how I feel about this.  Honestly, I think people that bust out iPads on a plane, at the airport, or in a hotel lobby are remarkable douches.  However, I can totally watch Netflix or HBO while I am at work, just like I have a small LCD HD TV on my desk, which is pretty sweet.

However, kill me if I ever look as obnoxious as this guy (there's probably no way for most people to avoid that, good thing I am alarmingly handsome):

I think what I'll do is just play this jam really loudly whenever I use it in public:

-Big Ran

PS:  Who knows how to look at porn on an iPad without my IT department knowing?

Is This Person Good Looking?

Hey errbody!  I'm here with another installment of "Is This Person Good Looking?"  Today, we have Anna Paquin, currently of the big HBO hit, True Blood, which will be coming back for its fourth season on June 26th.  I'm not into vampire stuff, but this is a really good show.  My guess is that KC would hate it with a white hot fiery passion.  Anyway, Anna Paquin, who plays Sookie Stackhouse on the show is always an enigma to me; sometimes looking good, sometimes just making me confused, so here we go.

Looking good:

A little bit of the deer in the headlights, but I ain't mad at ya.

I think its the teeth that throw me off:

It totally works for True Blood because it is set in backwoods Louisiana and I don't picture a lot of high end dental care going on in a place like that.  That smile is tough to get past, but I'm not hating on her.  I look like a tool when I try to smile in photos, so that's why I mean mug in every picture possible, even family holiday photos.

Thanksgiving

Arbor Day

Office Christmas Party

You get the idea.  Again, I ain't sayin Anna Paquin is busted, but she shouldn't smile.  Ever.

-Big Ran

Never Thought I'd Say It....

Top 5 Reasons Why I Like Hockey

1. Toothless men who just don't care. As long as this sport exists, dentists will be making bank!

2. Canadians acting tough because we all know that's just not their nature!
3. Organ music---did anyone hear "If You're Happy and You Know it" playing in the second period tonight? That really sets the mood for the boxing on skates that may ensue at any moment.
4. Mullets and 1970's/80's style facial hair! Tim Thomas, in particular, looked like he spent a little extra time on his 'stache tonight. From the locker room footage prior to face-off,  it looked like he may have been going for a handlebar look, but I can't find a picture of it yet.
5. Fights erupting for absolutely NO reason besides the fact that they CAN. 

*Side note: Can anyone imagine Mike Tyson on skates? I think he'd be a valuable asset to any NHL team....for a few reasons: Besides his obvious size and stremf', he enjoys biting (which apparently happened during the B's game tonight) and he doesn't  really seem to care about his teeth....

GO BRUINS!

 -KC Jones

Hide Yo Kids, Hide Yo Wife, and Hide Yo Husbands too, Cause Tornadoes are Rapin' MA

Uncut: Reported Tornado Churns Over River - Video - WCVB Boston

I was about to make jokes about how my commute home was an awesome combination of a car wash and fireworks show, then I get home and my wife and dog are chillin' in the basement because that's what they said to do in our town on the news.

Also, I saw the linked footage from Springfield.  Wow.  No joke.

If this is the Rapture, I'll see you guys in Hell, I guess.

-Big Ran

KC Jones' Note: I was unaware that we were REALLY having tornadoes in Messachusetts, so I didn't understand why the gym and the packy were both ghost towns when I stopped in after work--I thought it was just because people were gearing up for The Bruins tonight. This is the Rapture, fo' so'.......

On a lighter, happier note, check out some of the peeps in the background of the coverage from Springfield...my bet is that they gon' be lootin' err'body shortly!

Hide Yo Kids, Hide Yo Wife, and Hide Yo Husbands too, Cause Sarah Palin Might be Coming to Boston

Boston Globe - Sarah Palin’s mystery tour/summer vacation/media scavenger hunt is headed toward Boston, perhaps as soon as this afternoon.

The former Alaska governor, who has been visiting historic sites across the Northeast (and eating pizza with Donald Trump), as part of her One Nation bus tour, spent the morning in New York City, visiting Ellis Island.


Now, reporters for ABC News, CNN, and Real Clear Politics, who have been chasing after her bus, are reporting that she’s headed to Boston en route to New Hampshire, which holds the nation’s first presidential primary. 

As has been her practice throughout the tour, Palin is not saying where, precisely, she will stop in Boston. The city, of course, offers many historic sites that would resonate with her message. So Palin watchers are wondering: will she stroll the deck of Old Ironsides, walk along the Freedom Trail, or admire the Bunker Hill Monument?

We’ll have to wait and see. Palin has acknowledged she is interested in running for president, but has insisted that her unusual tour is not about her, but about highlighting America’s great historic sites.

One of her potential rivals, former Massachusetts Governor Mitt Romney, is formally announcing his presidential candidacy tomorrow. In New Hampshire.

This has been an odd trip for Palin as she insists it is not part of a possible presidential campaign, but rather a tour of historic sites in the US.  I guess it's just a coincidence that Romney is announcing his candidacy tomorrow in NH.  I really hope that Romney, Palin, and Trump all run in 2012, because Saturday Night Live would be awesome. 

-Big Ran

PS:  If you go to see Palin in Boston, don't dress like a moose or a Russian, cause she will shoot your ass.