Friday, August 5, 2011

Stuck in My Head



Why?  How?  No idea, but I was singing this in my head as soon as I woke up to one of my dogs wanting to go outside.

This is the first time I've ever seen this video and I have no idea what's going on.  I think if you did LSD or shrooms, this video would totally freak you out.

Thankfully we have YouTube commenters to clear things up for us...


  • "..because the flesh will get weak, and the ashes will scatter..." Such a moving lyric. Henley is a poet.
  • things hurt people close to us..mostly unintentional. Family can be slow to forgive, but Ive always felt family should be first to do so. My heart is open, and I forgive all. And hope they forgive me. Life sometimes takes strange twists.
That sh!t is deep.

-Big Ran

Thursday, August 4, 2011

I Actually Saw This On Someone's Car

So, is this person talking sh!t to violin players?  To fiddle players?  Do they play both?  Are they the same thing?  I have no idea.  I do know that if a fiddle player is talking trash about violins, the entire continent of Asia is going to be all up in their grill mix.  Also, whoever put that on their car is demented.

Hey, some people say cucumbers taste better pickled, you know?

Chappelles Show
Celebrity Trial Jury Selection
www.comedycentral.com
Buy Chappelle's Show DVDsBlack ComedyTrue Hollywood Story

-Big Ran

The Dog Days of Summer




Police Say Woman Tried To Drown Dog At Nantasket Beach



BOSTON (CBS) – She’s still a little timid, but Foxy the terrier is doing great tonight.
“Far better than expected,” according to Martha Smith-Blackmore, with the Animal Rescue League of Boston. “She went through horrible trauma and for any dog to survive that it’s a miracle, but for a 14-year-old dog to survive that it’s really incredible.”
State Police say on Tuesday night Foxy’s owner, 60-year-old Barbara O’Driscoll of Cohasset, tried to drown the 12 pound pup at Nantasket Beach.
“It’s reprehensible, it’s horrifying, it’s terribly sad,” said Smith-Blackmore. “It’s sad of course from Foxy’s perspective, but I also have concerns for a person that is so sick, they’re potentially doing something like this.”

An eyewitness says she watched O’Driscoll drag Foxy by her leash into the ocean around 4:45 on Tuesday afternoon. The witness told police that O’Driscoll went up to her chest — little Foxy underwater and unable to swim, for several minutes, until the eyewitness says O’Driscoll pulled the dog’s lifeless body onto the shore and eventually up to her car.
That witness flagged down State Trooper Matthew Waples, who happened to be doing a routine patrol of the parking lot.
“When I saw the dog it was in the back seat of the car in the parking lot and the dog appeared to be dead,” Waples said. The trooper said O’Driscoll’s breath smelled of alcohol and she was not making coherent comments.
“She wasn’t really making too much sense at that point in time,” he explained. Published reports indicate that when asked why she had tried to drown her dog, O’Driscoll kept repeating, “It’s just a dog”.
Hull’s animal control officer, Leslie Badger, raced to the scene, grabbed Foxy, and headed to the South Shore Animal Hospital in Weymouth. But on the way, Foxy’s soft heartbeat started to fade.
“I kept my hand on her and as I was driving down the road I could feel that it was getting even less and less of a heartbeat,” she says.
Badger made the decision to pull over on the side of the road and, “administer CPR on the dog, both chest compressions and mouth to mouth, or mouth to snout as everyone likes to say.”
Foxy coughed up seawater and sand — and hung on just long enough.
She is now spending time in a special oxygen-rich cage, with an I-V drip in her leg. Her doctors say she had made a remarkable recovery but is not yet out of the woods. Her medical care, paid by the Animal Rescue League of Boston, is expected to cost between $6,000 and $8,000.
“She’s a really sweet dog,” adds Martha Smith-Blackmore with the Animal Rescue League of Boston. “She’s really nice, very quiet, very calm, and doesn’t seem to be ruffled by all the activity in the ICU.”
WBZ tried to contact O’Driscoll at her Cohasset home, but no one answered the door. A neighbor tells us Foxy actually belongs to O’Driscoll’s elderly father.
In any event, the dog will not be going back there. Foxy will likely be placed in a doggy-foster home until a suitable home is found.
O’Driscoll faces charges that include animal cruelty.




Listen, I'm going to tell you guys something that you may already know. I F*CKING LOVE DOGS. I don't care what type of dog, what size they are, dogs are just awesome. As I have said here in the past, they are way better than people. I will never watch any movie where a dog dies because I will f*cking lose my sh!t. I am tearing up just typing that sentence.

This woman who tried to drown Fox obviously needs to be put down herself. Just drown her in the prison toilet right now. I can't even talk about her, so lets move on to Foxy, who is obviously as G as can mutha f*ckin' be.  I hope she finds a home that gives her everything she could possibly want and then some.

Also, my star of the month goes to Lesley Badger who gave Foxy mouth-to-snout. BEST ANIMAL CONTROL OFFICER EVER. M-V-P! M-V-P!


*KC Jones Note: I agree wholeheartedly with Big Ran. And, even if I didn't like dogs, I still would think that anyone who hurts an animal should be PUT DOWN. Actually, they should throw this woman to a pack of wild dogs and just let them enjoy their new snack. Remember something, serial killers typically have a history of starting off by injuring animals. I can't even watch the ASPCA commercials without crying, so when I hear this stuff, I lose it. 

Stuck in My Head



"No More Mr. Nice Guy."  Why am I singing this as soon as I wake up?  Do you think I have a brain tumor?  Am I deficient on some trace minerals?  I always questioned my singing of the lyrics, "No more Mr. Nice Guy, no more Mr. Clean."  I always thought that was wrong, but I guess not.

-Big Ran

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Irrational Rant....Buttheads!

Ok, so this rant has been brewing for quite some time and personally, I don't care if I offend anyone with it. I have come to the realization that the title of  "Most Inconsiderate Group in the Human Race" belongs to smokers! Yup! I said it. Has anyone else noticed this besides me? Here are my reasons:

1. Notice that these people think nothing of tossing their finished 'butt' of of their car window, or onto the lawn where they are hanging out, or onto the sidewalk where they are standing. Now, this is apparently accepted by society, but are you serious? Now, I like Dunkin Donuts Iced Tea. I like it a lot. However, when I am finished with my cup of it, I am not allowed to litter. That's what these people are doing. They are littering--proof that they are extremely inconsiderate. I guess they can't afford a trash can because of the amount they spend on cigarettes.

2. They think nothing of standing there and blowing smoke in your face. Countless times, I have walked in or out of a public establishment only to be greeted by a face full of smoke from the mouth of a nicotine fiend. Seriously? I know we can't outlaw or ban smoking, and we shouldn't be able to, however, I just wish these people had some common sense or consideration for others. 

3. Many are still whining about the fact that they can't smoke inside of public locations. What? Do they not understand that even though they don't think twice about the fact that they are incinerating their insides, the rest of us might? It's not really anyone's 'right' to put other people's health in jeopardy. Maybe the smoke is clouding their judgment.

4. Some of these chimneys think nothing of standing in front of you, hacking nonstop to the point where you might be pelted with an internal organ. Gross. Go somewhere else and do that. And what's worse is those who complain about their own coughing, saying they are 'congested'. No, you're a chain smoker, plain and simple. These are usually the same people who reek of  smoke and think nothing of coming over and invading your person space.


Okay, so I know that not ALL smokers are like this, but truly, we all know the majority of them are this way. So, if you're a smoker who doesn't do this stuff, thank you. If you are, well, why don't you smoke even more so we can continue controlling the world population. And, I'd also like to say, this rant isn't irrational at all....this is the truth! And yes, I do understand and sympathize with the fact that it's an addiction. However, I do NOT sympathize with A-holes.



-KC Jones

*Big Ran Note:  There are several small details I love about this post.  The first is the line: "Maybe the smoke is clouding their judgment."  Hopefully that pun was totally intended.  KC Jones aka Big Pun.

The second line I love is the closer: "However, I do NOT sympathize with A-holes."  KC sounds like every movie president ever.  "WE DO NOT NEGOTIATE WITH TERRORISTS!"  I can picture her in the war room slamming her fist on the big conference table.

Finally, my obligatory Dave Chappelle clip:

Mila Kunis Just Moved Up a Few Notches



I won't be seeing her new movie with JT, but this is awesome.  I guess the Russian reporter asked JT why he is making movies instead of music and Mila stepped in and said something to the effect of "Why movies?  Why not?  What kind of questions is that?  Why are you here?"

I guess she moved to the US from Ukraine when she was 7.  Every video of the Ukraine scene is Seinfeld can't be embedded, so here's the link:  http://youtu.be/fzLtF_PxbYw

I'd hit that.  Mila Kunis, not Kramer or Newman.

-Big Ran

KC Jones Says: I'm a raging heterosexual woman, but I'd hit that too. She's beautiful! Also, we have a new employee at my POE who looks just like Kramer.....a really creepy version!

Good Start to the Day


This week I am commuting to work near Boston from the Cape, which means that I am waking up at the crack of dawn in order to avoid traffic, and get to work early so I can leave early and beat traffic on the way back.  The first two days were actually OK, other than falling asleep on the couch by 9 PM after I got home.  This morning was a different situation all together.

First off, my father-in-law is at the Cape house with me and my wife, which is totally cool.  Not only because it is his house, but we don't mind him being there in the least.  This morning he decides to put on New York sports talk radio (WFAN), loudly, about a half hour before I have to wake up.  Realistically, its not a big deal, but you know that feeling when you are forced awake just long enough before your alarm goes off to be irritating?  That was today.

One thing that did go well this morning?  The outdoor shower.  Outdoor showers are the best; amazingly refreshing and invigorating.  It's like being in an Irish Spring commercial (who else see the leprechaun say "YEAH!"). 

I head out on the ride and there is an accident that just totally sabotages the commute and I get to work 45 minutes later than I wanted.  This prevents me from getting a spot in front of our building and having to drive in at the same time as our smug, PITA new hire who makes a show out of checking his watch has some smart ass comment for me.  

So I park, hike towards the office and stop in the coffee shop.  This is where karma starts poking me.  I get to the coffee shop and there is a guy taking his sweet ass time getting coffee.  I have no patience, so in my head I am thinking, "Let's go bro, move your ass."  Instantly, I bump into this hanging wire rack holding t-bags and sh!t.  

After paying I head upstairs and am behind the same slow coffee guy and he sees a guy he knows who looks tired and tells coffee guy that he went out last night.  Coffee guy's response:  "OOOOHHHHHHH NOOOOOOOO!  Good luck today, man."  Again, in my head, I am thinking, "Oh God, shut up and move on."  Then, instantly, my foot slips off a step and I spill coffee on my pants, shirt, and face.  However, I did come up with a good response to it courtesy of "Groundhog Day," and I said, "Ooh, you gotta watch that step, it's a doozy."

This was a long boring blog so I could vent.  I'll bring more heat later.


-Big Ran

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Step 1: Build Nuclear Reactor Step 2: ? Step 3: Profit


The Local - Swedish police have detained a 31-year-old man in Ängelholm in western Sweden who was discovered after he sought advice from authorities on the legality of building a nuclear reactor in a domestic kitchen. 

The man began his experiment some six months ago and has reportedly been open about his plans to construct a nuclear reactor in his apartment in the small Swedish coastal town, maintaining a blog of his nuclear adventure.

The man, who explained that his interest in nuclear physics was awakened as a teenager, ordered some radioactive material from overseas and acquired more by taking apart a domestic fire alarm.

Despite the man's frank and full disclosure of his experiment, his activities only came to the attention of the authorities a couple of weeks ago when he contacted the Swedish Radiation Authority (Strålsäkerhetsmyndigheten) to inquire if it was legal to construct a nuclear reactor at home.

The man was told that somebody would be sent to measure the levels of radiation in his flat. 

"When they came they had the police with them. I have had a Geiger counter and have not detected a problem with radiation," the 31-year-old told the local Helsingborgs Dagblad (HD).

The man was arrested by the police and taken in for questioning. He admitted to his plans and was later released. 

He told the newspaper that had he succeeded in building a nuclear reactor, generating any power would probably have proved beyond him.

"To get it to generate electricity you would need a turbine and a generator and that is very difficult to build yourself," he told HD.

The man is reported to have spent around 6,000 kronor ($950) on his project and after all his equipment was seized in the raid, he has confirmed that in the future he intends to focus on the "theoretical" aspects of nuclear physics.

No, no, no!  As Emmitt Smith would say, "Don't give up.  Don't even give up!"  This guy was SO close.  All he needed was a turbine and a generator and he would have had free power for life.  Or blown up the Swedish coast, either way, that's something, right?  I love this dude.  He was completely open about it, had a blog about it, and told authorities about it.  I think its all good, they need to give him his toys back, what's the worst that could happen?  In all honesty, I think I might tinker with a nuclear reactor to save some money.  He spent $950 on materials?  Shiiiiiiiiiiit, I would be saving money inside a year.  Inside three months if I can hook it up to heat and hot water in the winter.

In addition to this story, I may have found my go to site for news:  thelocal.se.  Check out the following stories in addition to this home made nuclear reactor:

  • 'Ass attack' downs Swedish model's blog (1 Aug 11)

  • Family finds strange man in the shower (1 Aug 11)

  • Housing a hedgehog is a crime: Swedish police (29 Jul 11)



  • Now I haven't read them yet, but you can bet your sweet asses I will be soon.  Who knew Sweden could be so friggin' awesome?


    -Big Ran

    Randy Moss: The NFL's Allen Iverson


    At this point, I don't believe that Randy Moss is done.  I think his "retirement" was a way to drum up some business by getting his name back in the news.  He wasn't getting the offers or teams he wanted, so his agent wanted to get the ball rolling.  With that said, Randy and AI have way to much in common not to see the similarities:  strange situations that led to jail time in high school with various run-ins with the law coming throughout their careers.  However, I'm not trying to get all serious here, why these guys are two of my favorites is because they are entertainers.  In addition to being transcendent talents in their respective sports, they were smart when it came to the microphone.  They were people everyone wanted to hear speak.

    Possibly the greatest presser of all time:



    Captain Ahab?





    When these two inspire a DJ to remix their press conferences, you know they have to be good...



    I would put that jam on my iPod and lift a ton of weights.



    -Big Ran

    This is AWESOME



    I always liked KG, even when he was in Minny.  I always dug Dirk Nowitzki's game.  Kevin Durant HAS to be the new face of the NBA when they come back from the lockout.  The players are locked out, guys are talking about playing in Europe (Kobe is demanding $1 million a month), and all KD is doing is balling.  Balling in Rucker Park and just absolutely killing it.  Remember the lockout when Shawn Kemp came back insanely overweight and presumably after impregnating 6 more women?  Yeah, this is the complete opposite of that.

    -Big Ran