Dear Delonte....

The NBA Lockout is obviously a very sore subject for me as the only THING I can say that I truly love is NBA Basketball. From the time the season officially ends in June until televised preseason games begin at the beginning of October, I feel like a part of my soul is missing. Usually, I have a bunch of games DVR'd to help get me through the off season, however, thanks to Charter Communications' upgrade this summer, my cache was wiped out. So I sit here anxiously awaiting some news...any news, on when this ridiculousness will be over.

Apparently, I'm not the only one stressed about the situation. A couple of weeks ago, Celtics guard and one of our faves here at "The Takeover" tweeted about the hardships he was facing in light of the lockout. Who you ask? Well, the answer shouldn't suprise you---it was none other than Le-Ego's potential stepfather, Delonte West. I swear to God I'm not making this up. Here is the ESPN article for proof:

Delonte West to Home Depot?

Although he's made over $14 million in the NBA, Delonte West tweeted recently that he is "broke" and has applied for a job at Home Depot.


"It's official.. Pride 2 the side.. just filled out a application at Home Depot.. Lockout aint a game," the Celtics guard tweeted.


West is on probation for a weapons charge and also tweeted that he wasn't allowed to pursue basketball opportunities overseas.


"Can't even get that over seas money," he tweeted. "Judge said it's a no go on leaving the country."


West has battled bipolar disorder during his career and also posted this to Twitter: "Broke down in the ATM line.. 25 cars behind me and I already reached my daily limit... I'm broke n my cars broke.. Where's my therapist???"


Appearing in only 24 games this past season, the 27-year-old West averaged 5.6 points in his second stint with the Celtics.


I'm so sorry Delonte. While some of your buddies are heading overseas to play, you can't leave the country due to some crazy extra curricular activities---and on top of that, your car AND bank account are broke! And, not to rub salt in the wound, but this is all on top of a failed relationship with Gloria James! Well Delonte, they say that bad things tend to happen in threes. Maybe that means it's time for your luck to change! Regardless, good for you for applying at the Depot! A job is a job after all, and you can bet your ass I'll be showing up there weekly if you get it! You'll probably even get a bonus for all of the extra business you'll be bringing into the store! But even if you don't get it, I see another opportunity for you after watching the clip below. Hey, if Ron Artest is on the new roster for Dancing With The Stars, having no experience, and despite his troubled past, I see NO reason why you wouldn't be welcomed with open arms. By the way, notice around the one minute, ten second mark--you seriously look like a little leprechaun doing an Irish jig! And, if DWTS isn't something  you'd like to pursue, maybe you and Big Baby could take your show on the road!




Bottom line is this: When it rains it pours D-West...just remember, in the immortal words of Tupac, Keep Ya Head up!

-KC Jones

Can't Tell Me Nothin'...**

So, I've been watching the news over the past few days & keeping up with Tropical Storm 'Lee' which has been bearing down on New Orleans. So, besides the obvious question of 'Why, after the complete devastation, death, and destruction of Hurricane Katrina, did people stay there and rebuild, thinking it would yield different results?'* (see note at the end for clarification), I started wondering WWKD if there is another bad situation down there. Yup! WWKD--What Will Kanye Do? I mean, in the aftermath of Katrina, he completely figured George W. out, and much to the dismay of Mike Myers, he shared his discovery on national television:



So, if now or in the near future there's another natural disaster in the Gulf Region, is everyone's favorite rapper going to declare that President Barack Obama also does not care about black people? I really hope he comes out with something like that---after all, Barack is half white, so be may be a racist just like G.W.B.... Plus, there is already bad blood between Kanye & Barack ever since he upstaged Taylor Swift during the VMAS....


And truthfully, there is NOTHING Kanye could say or do that would amaze me. But again, I suppose he's just 'misunderstood' and we should all be more accepting of him. Obviously his comments about Bush take the cake, but here other ridiculous rants & crazy comments by Kanye:










And, besides Barack Obama's comments, here are two of my other favorite celebrity reactions to his Taylor Swift VMA shenanigans:


*My money's on 50 here and always....


*Snoop is unreal....and I think he'd be just the one to administer the kick in the ass...

*(yes, I know it is a beautiful place and home to many people, but I just couldn't imagine rebuilding THERE after I lost everything and ran a pretty high risk of losing everything again at some point in the future seeing as though it is below sea level)

**The title of this post is a nod to one of Kanye's song titles....I'm so sharp!

-KC Jones

Planet of the Apes...

I admit it, I'm a dork, & I've been wasting the afternoon away watching a "Keeping Up With The Kardashians" marathon on E! (I would like to defend myself though because I did go to the gym this morning and had a kick ass workout AND I did some cleaning once I got home). Anyway, I continue having a problem with Kris Humphries....NBA player and now Kim Kardashian's husband (I give it a year....).

First of all, he's just gross & sounds like there isn't a brain in that head of his. He looks like he should have been in "Planet of the Apes" and I'm PRETTY sure he might be the long lost brother of Dirk Nowitzki's lunatic ex-girlfriend Cristal Taylor.

For your consideration:

Cristal Taylor-Queen of the Apes

Kris Humphries-Ape King

Don't you agree? These two are just hideous, both of them...and regardless of my opinion of Kim Kardashian, the fact remains that she is beautiful and could definitely do so much better (both in the personality AND looks department). She is the lesbian crush of heterosexual women everywhere.

Secondly, how can she go from Reggie frigin Bush to THIS? From a woman's perspective, this is just mind blowing and unacceptable. There are so many other men she could get and she chooses a neanderthal. I'm watching him right now on this episode where they are on vaca in Bora Bora and he is making dog noises while in the ocean and whenever he is giving a 'confessional', he sounds ridiculous and he doesn't even look into the camera. Reggie Bush is a phenomenal athlete who has battled through injuries and helped elevate the New Orleans Saints during the 2010 NFL Post Season when they ultimately won the Superbowl. Just like Kris Humphries, right? Ummm...not so much. This dude plays for one of the worst teams in the NBA & despite being the #14 pick in the 2004 draft, hasn't had too much professional success. Granted, some of his stats are decent, and it's not his fault he's been on crappy teams, but the fact remains that Reggie's got it all over him.

Easily two of the best looking people on Earth.

Personally, I think that Kris was just looking for something to do during the NBA Lockout. And sadly, I think our girl Kim took the bait. She's worth more than him, is more well known than him, and is legitimately out of his league! I know it might sound extreme, but I see no difference between Humphries & Sam Cassell, except that Cassell actually has a personality!

The good news is, this marriage will not last long and Kim will have the opportunity to fix her mistake! In the meantime, I will continue singing along to this song that is "Stuck in my Head"....(Sadly there is not an actual video for Sugar Ray's version of the song....btw--I bet Big Ran HATES Sugar Ray....just a feeling)...



-KC Jones

False Advertising (Part II)....

Lindsay Lohan Gets 'Billy Joel' Tattoo

(EndPlay Staff Reports) - Lindsay Lohan has added another tattoo to her ever-growing collection.
TMZ featured a picture of Lohan showing off her new tattoo, inked on the right side of her ribcage, which she got at her favorite tattoo shop Shamrock Tattoos.


The tattoo is the lyrics from Billy Joel's 1989 song, "I Go to Extremes" – something the 25-year-old actress is known for. The tattoo reads, "Clear as a crystal sharp as a knife / I feel like I'm in the prime of my life."


As for the significance of the tattoo and why Lohan chose those lyrics, a source told TMZ, "It represented where she is in life and everything she's been through … it signifies that she's focused."

Read more: http://www.myfoxboston.com/dpps/entertainment/lindsay-lohan-gets-billy-joel-tattoo-dpgoh-20110902-fc_14828649#ixzz1WrXSeJRX

There is absolutely NO way that, based on the title of this article, that other people didn't open it expecting to see a tattoo OF Billy Joel ON her body. I mean, this story isn't even newsworthy, and they knew it, so they had to put a ridiculous title on it to lure people (including myself) into reading it. I would imagine that if SOMEONE was going to get an actual tattoo of BJ on their body, it would be Lindsay. I mean, look at her & consider her history. Would you really be surprised? But instead, you  read on only to be greatly disappointed when you find out that the ink was simply a couple of lines from one of his songs.

My thoughts on her choice of lyrics? She is HARDLY "Clear as a crystal, Sharp as a knife" and, beyond that, she is FAR past "the prime of her life". There were plenty of other lyrics that would be FAR more appropriate. Some that come to mind quickly include:

1. "It's not a habit, it's cool, I feel alive...If you don't have it you're on the other side...I'm not an addict (maybe that's a lie)"- K'S CHOICE, "Not An Addict"


2. "They tried to make me go to rehab, I said No, No, No'"- AMY WINEHOUSE, "Rehab"


3. "I've been caught stealing; once when I was 5...I enjoy stealing. It's just as simple as that. Well, it's just a simple fact. When I want something, I don't want to pay for it."- JANE'S ADDICTION, "Been Caught Stealin'"


4. "Is it my imagination? Or have I finally found something worth living for? I was looking for some action. But all I found was cigarettes and alcohol."-OASIS- "Cigarettes & Alcohol"


5. "I'm a hazard to myself. Don't let me get me. I'm my own worst enemy"-PINK- "Don't Let Me Get Me"


-KC Jones

The Mile High Club....

Woman's Erotic Dancing Forces Flight to Turn Back to Russia

(NewsCore) - A flight from Moscow to London was turned back Friday when a drunken female passenger started performing erotic dances in front of shocked passengers.


The 07:00am flight from Moscow's main Domodedovo airport did an about-turn 15 minutes after the take-off because of the 39-year-old woman's antics, Ria Novosti news agency reported.


"The woman was in a state of insobriety, inconveniencing the passengers, taking off their glasses and dancing erotic dances," a spokesman for transport police was quoted as saying.


The passenger was arrested upon landing and sent for a medical examination. The spokesman said she was "in a good condition, but maybe a little drunk," adding that she may have carried alcohol on board.


The report did not specify which airline was operating the flight.


Read more: http://www.myfoxboston.com/dpps/news/offbeat/woman-erotic-dancing-forces-flight-to-turn-back-to-russia-dpgonc-20110826-fc_14730801?obref=obinsite#ixzz1WrQB5iCO

Ok, this article is just awesome. MAYBE I should be disgusted by this woman, but I am actually kind of jealous of her. Could you imagine having the balls (well, not the balls, but you get the point) to get up and act like this? I wouldn't want to do erotic dances on a plane, but she obviously doesn't care what anyone thinks. I know she was drunk, but as they say, "A drunken man's words are a sober man's thoughts", and I'd have to say the same is true when actions are involved. This can't be chalked up to her being young and dumb as she is 39 years old.

Also, let's be serious, she wasn't 'inconveniencing' the passengers....she was probably the best entertainment they'd ever seen AND I bet there wasn't one person on that flight having anxiety or claustrophobia during that time because they were so focused on her. Maybe she was figuring she could take the edge off of flying by giving the people something to talk about. If she was even REMOTELY decent looking (we're going to have to look into this further to confirm), the guys were happy. And if she was gross? It became hysterical.

I love when the actions of adults are described as 'antics'---it really adds to the insanity of a situation....I bet that people would gladly pay extra for flights if they could be guaranteed an experience like this. I mean, we constantly have to worry about terrorism, etc when flying and they chose to turn the flight around for this? That's the only bad part...they screwed up the flight for the other passengers.

I have a sneaking suspicion that this woman was MORE than willing to subject herself to the pat-downs in the security line...as a matter of fact, I bet that was her opening act. Like it or not, you have to agree that this show was better than any in-flight movie they could have shown....except for "Showgirls"..."Showgirls" would probably rival this as far as cheesy entertainment by women is concerned.

Could somebody help clarify what "erotic dancing" entails? I mean, I'm thinking a strip club type of thing, but there is no mention of her disrobing (thankfully), so I'm having a hard time imagining what this must have looked like. Someone on that flight HAD to have videotaped this using their phone. Now we'll just have to patiently wait and see....



-KC Jones

F*CK IT, I'M OUT!

Errbody have a great weekend, hopefully you have Monday off!





-Big Ran

Well, If It's Gonna Be That Kind of Party...

Charter school accused of becoming adult club at night in Miami-Dade

MIAMI-DADE COUNTY— By day, the Balare Language Academy is an A-rated charter school, home to children in kindergarten through middle school.


But when the kids are tucked into bed, Balare apparently becomes a playground of a different kind.


Party fliers, printed and on the Web, indicate that the campus at 10875 Quail Roost Dr. has been hosting raunchy, booze-soaked bashes into the wee hours. One flier for an upcoming party features a voluptuous, scantily clad woman posing with champagne bottles. Another shows a woman in a string bikini bending over suggestively and a man with flashy jewelry sitting on a stack of currency in front of a gold sports car.


Asked if the school was hosting any parties, founder and principal Rocka Malik responded: "Not that I'm aware of."


School attorney Marlon Hill said Balare is investigating.


"The school takes this type of allegation very seriously and with the highest priority," he said, adding that it sublets the space to two churches on the weekends.


Parents at the school were the first to sound the alarm this week.


The school district received complaints from parents who wondered why there were empty beer bottles at their child's school. They also complained about a lingering smell of smoke — and those provocative party promotions advertising Push it to Da Limit Pt-1: The Flossin Edition this coming Saturday.


On Thursday, the district sent the Language Academy a sternly worded letter reminding operators that the property is zoned to be a school and not a nightclub.


The complaint specifically called attention to the fliers.


"All advertisements include the promotion of alcoholic beverages in addition to inappropriate images for school-age children," Deputy Superintendent Freddie Woodson wrote.


There's little the district can do. Charter schools are funded by taxpayer dollars, but run by private or nonprofit boards independent of the school district.


Under state law, the district can close a charter school only if the school is in financial distress or has received a series of failing grades from the state Department of Education.


Balare, which boasts a bilingual curriculum, did receive a failing grade in 2010, and was threatened with closure at that time. When the F turned into an A this past summer, the school got a reprieve.


Malik said people must be using the school's address in their advertisements but planning to hold the parties somewhere else.


If so, they've done it before.


The school district found advertisements for two other parties at the address that took place over the summer: the Elegant Birthday Bash and the Skinny B'Day Celebration.


Photos of both events were posted on Facebook and show hundreds of partygoers dancing in a large space and pouring alcohol in a cramped kitchen. The virtual photo albums say the events took place at 10875 Quail Roost Dr.


Calls to the party promoter — Outlaw Skinny Promotions, which lists its address on Facebook at 10875 Quail Roost Dr. — were not returned.


Hill, the school's attorney, said Balare had already delegated staff to investigate claims that the school is doubling as a party palace at night.


He said staff plans to visit the school over the weekend "to assess whether any unapproved activities are indeed taking place without the knowledge and notice of the school."


Of course the staff plans on visiting the school of the weekend.  If "Push It To Da Limit:  The Flossin Edition" was coming to my office, you bet your ass I am there.  Don't forget about the fact that it is hosted by Jiggy Dre.  Let me into this party and let me in yesterday!


How about the Principals response, "Not that I am aware of."  That's like being in a Congressional hearing and responding, "I do not recall, senator" to every incriminating question.  You know what I think?  I think the principal is Jiggy Dre, possibly Carib Flexx.



-Big Ran

KC Jones Comments: This is an unbelievably awesome article. Could you even IMAGINE something like this going on? And yes, Big Ran is right about the principal's response being equivalent to "I do not recall, senator"....and now I'm having flashbacks to the Clinton/Lewinsky debacle ("It depends on what your definition of 'is', 'is').... Good find Big Ran, good find! And, what is wrong with the school hosting raunchy, booze-soaked bashes into the wee hours as long as it's not during school hours? God, with the right cover charges err'body up in the school during the week could be sporting new IPads.  If that happens, I bet no one will be complaining when "Soul Train: The Dirty Version" resumes each Friday night....Budget problems resolved!

The Loser List

Since it's Friday, I am out of ideas and I want to avoid actual work I get paid for as long as possible, I figured I throw some sort of list out there.  Today I am going to throw up (literally and figuratively) what at least right now are my five LEAST favorite movies.  These were all brutally painful to watch and with Netflix and Redbox, hopefully I can help you avoid some clunkers.

The Beach

This one is funny because this is literally, one of my best friend's favorite movies, but since we have pretty much opposite taste in just about everything, I guess that shouldn't surprise me.  Watching the trailer is great because it is so dated by the music.  Moby, Live, pure late 90s action there.  This movie is pretty brutal though, the plot is so thin and it is so overacted, maybe it is worth the unintentional comedy, but not sure.


Australia




Let's put it this way.  I fell asleep for 45 minutes in the middle of this movie and I still saw over two hours of it.  They tried SO hard to make this an epic Oscar winner by including everything possible:  racial strife, class strife, war, forbidden love, terrible effects, everything.  So, so bad.  This may be #1 on my list.

Just Go With It




You know when you are on a plane and you don't have your own TV, but they are playing a movie so you just start praying that as you flip through the airline magazine to see the schedule that it is something good?  I think I was flying from Dallas to Boston and this played.  Terrible script, terrible acting, I wanted to punch the children in it, and the other comedian, Nick Swardson, is brutal.  The only positives were Brooklyn Decker and Jennifer Aniston in bikinis.  However, you know my philosophy: T!ts or GTFO.  This movie can GTFO.

Hall Pass




Mrs. Big Ran and I saw this last week and I thought it might be amusing and entertaining enough for a rental.  I had no idea the Farrelly Brothers directed this movie, but knowing that they did just illustrates their downward spiral.  They should have hung up the 'ol directors chairs after Dumb and Dumber, or at least after There's Something About Mary.  Individually, I like the four main actors: Jason Seduksigfhazgklsdjghdf$%& from SNL, Owen Wilson (the Wilson bro with the weird nose), Pam from The Office, and Kelly Bundi.  However, it looked like they got the script five minutes before filming and that the script had been finished on the drive to the set.  F*cking terrible.  I thought funny hi-jinks would ensue.  Nothing funny ensued.  


It's Complicated




Big name cast with Meryl Streep, Alec Baldwin, and Steve Martin (also Jim from The Office), but no support from the script.  Just let these people go and it will be fine.  Instead their characters were all neutered versions of themselves.  The part that set me over the edge was when Streep and Baldwin's characters get back together for a bit, all their adult children freak out.  There was a scene where all the adult children were huddled in a bed together because they were so upset.  The characters were supposed to be from 21 to early 30s and this is what is going on?  You are adults whose parents have been divorced for 10 years.  It was at this point I wanted to murder these people.

So, in conclusion, these movies blow, you will not get the time given back to your lives if you choose to watch them.  Also, if you have seen these movies and actually like them, I am very, very sorry that your parents dropped you on your head as a child.  I award you no points and may God have mercy on your soul.



Happy Friday, bitches!

-Big Ran

Stuck in My Head

This one's for KC because I cannot get this song out of my head ever since KC mentioned Adele yesterday.  Not a bad jam to have stuck in your head, but what really makes it are, once again, the YouTube comments:

Top Comments

• i like the part where they say"rumor has it, rumor has it, rumor has it!"

  carmenlo05 3 weeks ago 25 
• this iss the lying game thyme song!!!! and i luv

  it

  mightymidnight15 4 weeks ago 18 

  
  

  
  

  • yhe 3 yr old boy i babysits sings along to this song n its soooooo cute! <3

    Hannelore0101 14 hours ago
  • LIKES

    katsmeo 2 days ago
  • i am doing a jazz dance to this and it is the best song to do REALLY is quite amazing!!!! <3

    AshleyLove361 2 days ago

    
    

    
    

    It makes you wanna go and rub in it in the girl's face who's bf left her for you :)

    tootiebottieandpooki 3 days ago 3 

    
    

    
    

    My aerobics instructor plays this song for our warm up. I love it, this song always makes me crave a hardcore work out! <3

    lstone09 3 days ago

I am going to salvage my manhood with this one.  I rocked this at the gym yesterday and it was awesome.

-Big Ran

PS:  First blog to ever have Adele and Giving Up the Nappy Dugout in the same post?  Probably.  Just making history, no big deal.

Super Terrific Hour

Banner day at the gym today.  Not because of my awesome workout (I could barely fit back into my shirt afterwards), but because of some basic unwritten rules being broken at the gym.  First off, this is a gym at work, so I usually see some people I know, but not today.

First, there was a bro in a soccer jersey and Reebok Tennis Pumps there.  I was using a bench, then got up to put the weights down and grab another set.  I turn around to go back to the bench and he has usurped it.  Now, normally, I don't have a problem telling people I was using a particular piece of equipment.  However, this bro had brought over like 3 sets of weights and various weight plates, stacking them, all around the bench.  I needed to see this workout.  He proceeded to talk to everyone that walked into the gym, wandered around, and left the weights at the bench without actually lifting any of them.  Classic move.

Second, we had the classic, work out in your work clothes.  Dude, just doing some reps in his golf shirt, khakis, and dress shoes.  No big deal.  I bet he's gonna smell great back at the office at 1 PM.

Finally, we had soccer jersey bro making his second appearance.  After lifting, I went upstairs to the cardio area, where there are the usual tread mills, ellipticals, stair climbers, etc, in addition to a track that encompasses the entire gym.  My man proceeds to do sprints on the track, looking absolutely ridiculous and I am convinced he thought that would impress the woman jogging on the track.  No doubt that he spotted her running while in the weight room and conceived this master plan.

So, as you head out of work, possibly to the gym.  Please wear actual work out attire, if you take weights off the rack, I suggest actually lifting them (a better work out than talking), and don't try to impress people with your sprinting skills unless your last name is Bolt.

-Big Ran

Watch Out for the Guns